Oh my.... I haven't posted any reality TV drawings in such a long time and I've picked an especially empty (yet full of filler) gal to sketch. Her name is Lisa and she's part of an entirely unlikable batch of people on a show called The Real Housewives of Miami. I've only seen two episodes of this mess and that just may be all I take. Lisa is married to a plastic surgeon who has transformed her into a human sex-doll which may sound a little interesting but from what I've observed, she's really not. The last episode I saw Lisa was hosting an underwear party that was attended by Joe Francis of Girls Gone Wild notoriety. Yuck. Yuck, yuck, yuck. Not sure if I can watch this show again although there were some fun faces to draw.
Last night was the return of The Real Housewives of Miami and with it, some new cast members. Speaking of new cast members, I can't tell where one ends and the other begins. It's just a wash of extensions, skimpy dresses, fake breasts on display, and complete un-likableness. New fights..... New cosmetically enhanced faces..... New dinner parties that will certainly end in disaster. Sigh.... The only thing I really care about is Mama Elsa and her magical face..... She is a witch after all. Welcome back Elsa and her daughter Marysol pictured on the right. Ink, marker, and digital color on paper.
Oh my goodness gracious......... Bravo has given me my own gallery with 44 images of my drawn and painted Bravo-lebrities. Please click here to have a look. I'm having a hard time finding the right words to express my overwhelming gratitude...... I'll simply say thank you to Bravo and all those involved in making this happen. I feel like I should be wearing a crown, clutching a bouquet of red roses, and waving as I walk to end of a stage while mascara-soaked tears stream down my face. That might happen later this afternoon. :)
Thank God for tivo as I was able to basically fast forwarded through all of last night's episode. In all honesty I don't care about this collection of gals and since I watched only bits and pieces this isn't going to be a recap. NO! This is going to be the quickest of quickies..... And like a quickie, this also has a satisfying finish. Trust me. One of the scenes I partially watched was Marysol's wedding. Emphasis on partially. I don't know where their snow covered mountaintop nuptials took place: Aspen? Sun Valley? Whistler? but what I do know is that her mouth was captivating! Something about her hair pulled back really made that thing pop out. This may be a bit of a stretch.... but...... I think her lips are artificially enhanced. Shocking, huh? How dare I make such a salacious declaration?! As Marysol and her mother are the only and I mean only likable people on that show, I think a program about just those two would have been way better. That's my two cents.
I hit pause on my tivo during her vows and marveled at that pucker. And then quickly drew her. Oh those lips..... those luscious lips! Ok, that was one thing I enjoyed last night and the other was, of course, William Levy. Sorry, make that William Fucking Levy!
Tonight's show hasn't even aired yet so this isn't a recap, no--- it's a posting of praise for the most exquiste flower in the Miami bouquet. Elsa Patton is mother to fish-lipped, business woman Marysol. Don't remember what Marysol does, don't necessarily care....... What I do give a great big crap about is her mum. Hey, a mum is a flower, right? I was onto something with that bouquette analogy. Sure Marysol may have the mouth area of a fresh water bass, a face as frozen as a popsicle, and hair the consistency of broom bristles....... I'm not really making a point with that last part, just listing some observations. What I really want to address is Elsa and without further ado, here is my depiction of her.
Gorgeous, right? Those luscious lips, that shimmery eyeshadow, those perfectly sculpted eyebrows..... perfection! And to really turn the fun volume up, she's a witch! This gal is a party. I look forward to welcoming Elsa into my living room every tuesday night.
Let's all raise our mojito glasses and give a cheers to this sun-kissed but not sun-damaged new group of housewives. Yes OC, that last part is aimed at you. A sizzling new batch of characters was served last night and I ate that shit up. I like the Miami gals for the same reason I like fajitas: they're yummy, spicy, and relatively low in calories. Sorry, I'm flying on a serious caffeine buzz so I don't know what the hell I'm writing. Coming off the Louboutin heels of The Beverly Hills gals, I think these women serve as the right transition before we get to the blond and brittle-haired OC crew. Oh Alexis Bellino....... I miss you. Transitioning from Lisa Vanderpump to Gretchen Rossigoldiggia would be too drastic of a drop-off so these lovelies serve as a delicious palette cleanser. I'd say collectively the Floridian gals are insanely confident, pretty hot, attention-seeking, and fairly shallow. Win, win, win, win! I'm not at home at the moment so there won't be any drawings of them til next week but first order of business will be to draw Marysol's mom Elsa. Here she is and I'm fully invested.
I was all ready to slather my face with some True Renewal lotion, chug a bottle of Pinot, eat some jelly beans, yell for Bobby, and then warmly welcome back those NYC gals. Oh Ramona........... I do miss you so. They were set to air next but something happened, something unexpected. Seems the NYC cast is being pushed til spring and taking its place are the Real Housewives of Miami. What up Bravo? I was a bit peeved until I saw the new batch.
Goodness Gloria Gracious Estefen! A couple of them kinda look alike, seem kinda alike, same drama crap just different gals. There were, however, a couple of faces in that video that really tickled my fancy. First of all, there's Larissa Pippen.
She is to eyebrows what Teresa Guidice is to hairlines. Here's my rendition.
Be still my tweezers!!!!!!!!!!! I've heard the 90's are coming back and Larissa's brow is blazing that trail. Welcome!
Next was this trout-pout.
Her name is Marysol and thanks to my 11 year old nephew I know that Marysol is one of the American Girl dolls. Yes, nephew...... it runs in the family. My nephew's Marysol doll is about 16 inches tall and 100% plastic. This Bravo Marysol doll is probably 5'4" and only about 50 to 60% plastic. Any mouth that augmented gets a thumbs up from me. Welcome.
The rest of them I've already forgotten but I've saved the best for last. Feast your eyes on this.
I don't know what's going on in that photo but I know I endorse it. I'd vote for it. I'd buy it a drink. I'd wear it's perfume. I'd love it as though it were my own mother, father, witch doctor. Ohhhhhhhhhhhh Bravo, just when I wonder if your well has run dry--- you pull out the above person. God bless you.