Pretty On The Outside

Paris Hilton on RHOBH

On last night's RHOBH we were treated to a visit by Paris Hilton, Kyle's niece. (That's Kyle on the left.) It was just a couple years ago that this particular franchise began and at the time, sadly and oddly Paris was too big to appear. But now as no one gives a flying shit about her, she'll slum it to pedal some nonsense. She dropped the most unbelievable turd bomb when she declared she was "closing" for JLO at a concert. HA HA HA!!!!!! I laughed for about an hour at that. Closing? You mean when they turn the stadium lights on and the custodians begin cleaning. Oh Paris, you actually gave your best performance in this bomb of a guest spot. 
Drawing done with ink and marker on paper and a dab of digital color. Also, isn't it funny she is (was) considered hot?

Paris Hilton is a not so private dancer.

Question:  What's worse than Paris singing?
Answer: Paris singing while pole dancing.

The only thing that could make that situation any worse was if she had lipstick smeared all over her teeth.  That's probably tomorrow's big story.

There is an NSFW version here.  Sorry.

Hallmark, you're HOT!

Read all about it here.
Paris as a pole dancer makes complete sense to me.  More so than as a waitress. If you clicked on that first link, you'll know what I mean. 
Go Team Hallmark!

The Loch Mess Monster

The Loch Ness Mess monster was seen off the coast of southern California earlier this week.  Nessie Messie as she's nicknamed was quite friendly as she frolicked in the surf.  She flashed her big smile and right breast at some bewildered onlookers giving them much more than they ever wanted to see.   Much more.
Speaking of much more than you'd ever want to see, Messie's one time BFF Brit Brit was only seen dirtying up the water off the coast of southern California. 
Someone call a clean up crew.  Please.

McHilton: Over A Billion Served

I have been on vacation for the last four days up in beautiful Seattle and now I'm home and back at it.  Someone else on vacation is Paris Hilton who has been spending time in Hawaii.  When I saw this photo of her on the beach this morning, I immediately saw her legs as McDonald's golden arches.  Something about their motto of over a billion served seemed appropriate.  Is that wrong?
"Duh.. Duh.. Duh.. Duh.. Duh.. I'm Lovin' it!"
 
Ink on paper with photoshop 

From the sketchbook of Paris Hilton (part two)

Larry King's excruciating hour long interview with Paris Hilton just ended.  The only thing that really stood out was when he asked her what personality traits she'd like to change.  Her response was that her voice gets high when she's nervous.  That's what she'd like to change.  That's the big revelation of the interview.  :)
I'd like to imagine that Paris will draw a picture and write a letter thanking Larry King for granting her an interview just as she did for Harvey Levin.   This is what I imagine it would look like.

Continuing the idea that Paris the artist and author has been keeping a secret sketch book, and that it has been hacked into like her blackberry, I have a few more entries.

Certainly she would have written something about her friend and reality show costar Nicole Richie and her dramatic image change.

She most certainly would have written and doodled about the day she shot that Carl's Junior commercial.

And lastly, she definitely would have written about and lovely drawn Cisco Adler and his enormous nuts.

And yes, there is an NSFW version you can see here. 

From the sketch book of Paris Hilton

The drawing and letter Paris Hilton did for Harvey Levin of TMZ blew my freakin mind.  Who knew she could draw?  Anyone.... anyone?  I'm seriously confused and intrigued by Paris the artist.  Has she been keeping a secret sketch book for years?  If so, what treasures would we find?  Her blackberry was hacked into so what if her sketch book was hacked into?  My mind has been swirling..... Would we see some of her highlights and lowlights from the past few years?
We certainly would see a sketch book entry about one of her many sex tapes.  Right?

Would Paris have chronicled her outings with her then BFF Britney Spears?

She most likely would have drawn and written about her Girls Gone Wild friend Joe Francis.



Oh the possibilities are endless!  More entries to follow..............................................................

This bird has flown

Paris is a free woman!  Free!  Free!  Free!       

There is an NSFW version which you can see here.  My apologies in advance.

When Paris was prematurely released a couple of weeks ago, my friend Ralph suggested I draw her as the flying nun.  I filed that idea under very good and it seemed appropriate to draw the heiress as such now given her new found spirituality.   Thanks Ralph!

Ink on paper with photoshop.  I also hope and pray that I'm done drawing Paris for a while.  I was just scrolling down and was horrified at the number of postings I've done about her recently.  Sorry. 

Paris on Larry King..... literally!

NBC wised up and pulled its head out of its own ass and decided not to pay Paris $1,000,000 for her first post prison interview.  Good job.  Now, it seems Larry King will be the first to get his hands on the soon to be sprung sweet heiress ass.  He'll be probing her deeply for an entire hour.  Relentlessly he'll drill her until she screams,  "Larry no more!  I can't take it. You're too much!"
Sadly, I'll be watching every minute.

Ink on paper with photoshop and two glasses of zinfandel.

Money horribly spent

Can you believe that prison will actually make Paris even more wealthy?  It is being reported that NBC is coughing up $1,000,000 for her first post prison interview.  Now that she's all spiritual I suggest she donate that check to charity.  Just an idea.  The awful truth is that I know I'll watch her Today Show interview.  Perhaps I'll Tivo it so I can watch it later that evening after a good couple of drinks.