Pretty On The Outside

Victoria Beckham and her ornaments

I'd like to be Victoria Beckham for one evening.  Just one.  I'd send the kids to go spend the night with Auntie Tom and Uncle Katie and wait for my husband soccer star David in our bedroom..  I'd be wearing nothing but some Instinct fragrance by Beckham.  And perhaps a pair of sunglasses.  I'd hear his mouse like voice downstairs asking my whereabouts.  I'd stay as quite as possible so as not to spoil the surprise.  My stomach may growl from having not eaten in a week, but other than that, totally silent.  He'd still be in his soccer outfit, smelling of the day's workout. 
"Posh..... Posh, it's me David.", he'd say in his school girl voice.  My enormous breasts would heave with anticipation.  One would face up at the ceiling, the other down at the floor.  He'd find me there on the bed.  Naked.  I'd have flawless hair and makeup of course.  I'd slowly remove my sunglasses, a wind machine would kick in and our night of extreme physicality would begin.
I would do so many unspeakable things to him that evening.  I'd explore his boundaries and push them as far as I could.  He may file a restraining order the next day, but..... so what.  My time would be up.
That's my Christmas wish. 
Is it too much to ask for? 

Ink on paper with digital color and a prayer that my Xmas fantasy will come true.
 

Hey Posh, what's cookin?

Is anyone wondering if Posh will be cooking a turkey tomorrow evening?  Or curious about what she'll be eating for Thanksgiving dinner?  Anyone, anyone?  I'm sure her feast will include the only items in her fridge: lettuce, edamame, and diet coke.  Just like the founding fathers.  I only hope she'll be dressed like a pilgrim gone high fashion call girl.

A special thanks to Candy for the inspiration.  Read her hilarious Rachael Rae spoof interview with Posh about what's in her fridge.

Ink on paper with digital color.

Postrich

Victoria Beckham is getting a jump start on Halloween, which is perfectly fine with me.  I think Halloween is the holiest of all the holidays.  I love costumes and dressing up and was so excited to see the Poshy one in this ostrich outfit.  Yippeee!!!!!!  Let the parade of costumes begin.  Victoria also treated us to this alien ensemble as well as this nipple-rrific sci-fi soccer mom gone mad.
What will she dress up as next?   I'm excited to see...........

Ink on paper with photoshop.   

The Posh Plane

When the Spice Girls embark on their reunion tour, they will be stylishly traveling in their own 757.   A plane full of hair extensions, fake eye lashes, and too tight clothing...... sounds like a fun way to go.
I, however, would rather take a ride on the Becks Boat. 

Ink on paper with photoshop.

Hot like Posh!

Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like Posh?
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like Posh?
Don't cha
Don't cha
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was raw like Posh?
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like Posh?
Don't cha
Don't cha

Victoria Posh Beckham is joining the PussyCat Dolls.   Let the hotness begin.  :)

Ink on paper with photoshop.

 

Do they measure up?

Victoria Beckham in a recent interview said:

"I've had to turn myself into Bree.  It's so bloody hard getting into a private school in Beverly Hills.  As a parent you feel like you are on trial.  I've been having to promise to do loads for the school and David had offered to give the pupils some football lessons.  I'm just worried that my cupcakes won't be up to standard!"

Victoria, you don't need to worry about your d-cupcakes. They are like bright, shining headlights.
Your d-cupcakes always draw attention and are easy to spot.
Posh, I'd say your cupcakes are anything but standard.

PoshBot

Tell me what you want,
What you really, really want....................

What would you do with your very own PoshBot?

Would you make it wear funny hats?

Would you put it in large sunglasses?

Would you give it a best friend?

Or dress it in something sheer?

Do tell........what would you do with it?

This is painted with acrylic and archival ink on paper.  14 in x 11 in.

F.Y.I.  I had someone ask if this painting is for sale.  It is.  Please contact me with any inquires.