I just can't seem to help myself.... Hit pause on my dvr remote as NeNe from the RHOATL was serving a punishing bitch-please™ look to one of her cast-mates. Did a quick pencil sketch and then "painted" it with MAC cosmetics: paint stick, full coverage foundation, eye shadow, chromacake.
By the way, those two new women need to go: Kenya and Porche, they're really awful. I'd like to rename Porche, Tercel or Camry. (No offense if you drive one of those cars but renaming her a Toyota car seems more spot-on.) And Kenya or Ken-nah™ is out of her friggin mind! Out of it. That Waletr guy needs to run for the hills! :)
Reality TV is my dirty pleasure and the way I justify watching this crap is to draw it. I hit pause on my dvr remote as NeNe Leakes from The Real Housewives of ATL was making this "bitch please' face to something Kenya said. Or was this her "say what now" look? Anyway, I did a quick pencil sketch and then "painted" the whole thing with MAC Cosmetics: foundation, eyeshadow, paint sticks, and chromacakes. :)
This is new cast member Kenya and I've said it before and I'll say it again..... there's nothing like new crazy. She has the aggression of Marlo and the ample BS reserve of Sheree (both no longer with the show) so does that mean Kenya is pulling the weight of two crazy people? I'm going with yes on that.
Illustration of new crazy completed with pen and marker on paper with digital color.
Sheree from The Real Housewives of ATL delivering her most memorable line "fix your face" to NeNe. Too bad Sheree didn't use that line earlier.... it might have saved her job. By the way, doesn't it seem like only yesterday NeNe was barking at Kim to "keep her legs closed to married men". Isn't it crazy that was three years ago?
This drawing started as a study for a more involved image but I liked the messy quality as that seemed to fit the giantic yet infinitely enjoyable train-wreck that is this three-part reunion show. It's completed with a Bic pen on paper and digital color. Yes, a Bic pen. Off to watch the third installment. Happy reality TV viewing y'all!
Last night at around 7pm I wrote up a recap posting of this past Sunday's ATL housewives. It was full of snide remakes about Bravo dredging the bottom of the barrel to find new cast member Marlo. She's pretty bad. A "socialite" who has been arrested seven times and uses designers objects to derive her self-worth. Actually that might sound like an interesting character if you've never seen the show but if you are watching, then you know otherwise. She's loud and thoughtless and she'll scream 'faggot' if she's in an argument which is perfect for a show on Bravo. This franchise is home to many batshit crazy people but, to me, she's not watchable. She makes me mad. In that posting I started last night, I also went into great detail about how horribly most of these women are behaving on their South African trip. A trip which most people would relish and learn from but not the majority of these dames. Lots of complaints and a lack of interest in experiencing the local culture and Marlo brought 29 pairs of designer shoes and a slew of handbags. Why? Because she insists we know that she has these things. And in case you forget she has them, she'll bark about it endlessly. Bleh! So after I finished that posting I hit publish and typically a few seconds later and it appears on my blog. But not last night. I hit publish and then an odd swirling icon which I've never seen before appeared on my screen. Huh? I was able to get on other sites so it wasn't an internet thing. I left my laptop open until about 11pm and it was still stuck in that mode so I just had to shut it off and all I'd written was lost. Oh well..... it's probably Karma for all the awful yet I feel accurate detailing I went into about Marlo. Maybe it's best that posting is gone because I do not want to be the reason for mugshot number 8. :)
What I drew from the episode was when the ladies went to a dinner party and their faces were detailed with some beautiful painted dot patterns. There was no significance to the designs, they were just ornamentation.
Were those painted dots to be emblematic of each woman's character, then Marlo would certainly have had this painted on her face.
I did that image from start to finish in about twenty minutes so if she looks like a dude then all the better.
Oh hey there! I'm going to attempt two ultra-quickie postings today. Like ultra, ultra quick. I did the above drawing of my favorite housewife Kandi about five days ago, posted it on my fb page, and then began prepping for a free-lance project. It was on my "to do" list to get this posted but sadly I got sick mid-week. Wah wah!!!! Today I'm almost feeling human again so thought I'd best get this up. The above drawing of the adorable Kandi celebrates her foray into the country music arena. Miss Burruss is writing for country singer Jo Dee Messina and I predict good things. In my estimation, she's the only "real" person on that show meaning she's not pretending to be something she's not. Go cowgirl Kandi! So what else happened on last week's show?
Hmmmmm.... if memory serves:
Phaedra's trying to put the fun back in funerals (sorry, I'm still sick) and she's gonna use her friend Willy Wonka's business model and rip him off. Or something like that.
Cynthia and Peter seem to be on the divorce countdown.
Nene found out that new cast member Marla has been arrested seven times. Say what?
Kim and her lazy daughters unpacked some hideously gaudy Versace plates that will be displayed in their formal dining room but never used.
Sheree went to Kim's Wigmanor and tried to usher in a healthier lifestyle: fresh squeezed juice...... yoga complete with side planks (those totally work by the way) and Kim wanted none of it. Which was shocking, right? I think Kim is totally missing out on a huge business opportunity. Wouldn't you want to buy a yoga workout video with wigged Kim trying to do the down dog position with a cigarette in her mouth and a glass of wine next to her mat? I'd totally buy it.
Ok, off to take my meds and try for posting number two.
Drawing of Kandi was completed with pen and ink on paper.
There are lots of things to enjoy about The Real Housewives of ATL:
*Sheree pretending to build her dream home.... she is an "actress" after all and I believe the "Chateau Sheree" storyline is one long improv exercise.
*The nightclub complete with a VIP section that Peter is launching in a neighborhood which by all accounts is in the hood. I understand if there's a beautiful old building in a sketchy area and you're hoping to help transition that part of town. But Peter's bar looks like it was previously a kinkos and all he did was hang some Ikea curtains and a giant photo of Cynthia on the wall. Hey.... maybe it's still part kinkos and he just printed that over-sized image there. Very resourceful.
*Nene showing all the signs of being a diva moose.
*Anything Kandi. And of course mama Joyce.
But my favorite thing of all is Phaedra's face when she lets out an mmm-hmm sound at something which excites her. That mug gets all squished and her lips almost double in size. I like the soft, quiet, and drawn-out mmmmmm-hmmmmms, her shout it at Jesus MMM-HMMS!!!, and just her regular old mmm-hmms like she's agreeing with you. They're all good and all very welcome. Thank you Phaedra for being so entertaining. Can I get an a-mmm-hmm-men?!
This is a celebration of the "donkey booty" as brought to us by: Kandi, Phaedra, and Sheree. I do love an itty bitty waist and a round thing in my face! These glorious tushies were drawn with lots of love and lots of admiration. Who doesn't enjoy a shapely backside? I sure do! On Sunday's episode of RHOATL those three gals went site-scouting for Kandi's 35th birthday party and they brought plenty of booty. Here's some screen captures....
Damn!!!!! Praise be the donkey booty. Can I get an amen? Seriously, I think all their rear ends are fantastic.
As usual there was some fighting to be had on last night's Real Housewives of Atlanta. Of course..... That's the fuel which powers the machine, however, this time it was two of the husbands going at it! Joe Giudice and Joe Gorga must be so proud of their combative legacy. So........ Kim and Kroy's baby shower which looked like it was held in a school gymnasium was the scene of the crime. Seriously, I was looking for basketball hoops and bleachers. Peter, Cynthia's husband, apparently was recently interviewed by Uptown Magazine and got all bitchy saying Sheree was unattractive and that he couldn't stand Phaedra (because of past foot-in-the-mouth stuff she'd said about him). The plot thickens! So...... everything was going smoothly at the baby shower held in the basketball court of a 24 Hour Fitness: Kim's oldest daughter gave a sweet speech that basically was about her mom's love of Kroy's sweet ass, Phaedra speculated that Kim's baby shower was awfully similar to her awful shower (really? I didn't see a bouquet of white roses in Kim's wig, Dwight, or any ballerinas), and Kim's creepy dad awkwardly propositioned Phaedra about some business something or other. Phaedra priceless expression during the exchange was equal parts "where's my mace" and "can I make some money off this crazy old geezer." So........ Peter and Cynthia came rolling in some 5 hours late. 5 hours!!!! Why even bother? Well, they bothered because they both want to be on next season and the pathway to contract renewal is lined with drama. NeNe taught them well.
After some bullshit excuses about why they were so late and a number of phony are you crazy bitch air-kisses, Peter and Cynthia sat down at the table with the rest of cast and cue the drama! Apollo and Peter were seated next to each other for optimal tension. Apollo who should be shirtless in scene began rubbing his hands like he was warming them up to throw a punch and Peter just had to chime in with a, "you got a problem?" Apollo responded with an, "Aren't you too old?" Peter's I think 50 and Apollo is I think 42. 42 and fine. Peter jabbed back with a comment about Apollo's recent mistaken arrest (I didn't really understand what was up with that situation), a number of "Bring it" shouts were exchanged as the two rose to their feet, and the joint got so hot I thought some synthetic hair was going to melt! But just when it looked like the two were going to come to blows, Apollo actually became the bigger, better, hotter man and walked away. Well done Apollo.... now take your cloths off. Sorry. :) And then Peter and Cynthia stormed off in a huff. Cr-a-zy!
The best part was Phaedra saying about Peter and his slew of children that he reminded her of the old man in the shoe, Uncle Ben, and the best ever---Papa Smurf. Papa Smurf!!!! And so I drew Peter as such. Hope you'll like.
The ripe Georgian peaches returned the other evening and I was certainly happy to welcome them back. These heavily made-up, funny, and often combative sweet-treats did not disappoint and one of them (NeNe) is rich. Just so you know. I'll get to the whole crew but I want to start with my favorite part of the show which involved NeNe Leakes doing what she does best on TV--- being a loud, aggressive brut towards another cast member. That specific skill has made NeNe rich. Just so you know. SheRee who's surprisingly looking more like a woman this season (c'mon, she often looks like a Rupaul's Drag Race contestant) had invited NeNe to a pleasant looking restaurant for what would become an unpleasant shouting match in regards to something that had taken place before taping. Apparently SheRee had asked NeNe to be a part of some event in Philly and had inquired about her appearance fee. This is a quick aside, I drank almost a whole bottle of wine during the show so I don't really remember everything that went down. So apparently NeNe had talked to the promoter of that event about getting SheRee at a lower rate or something which got back to SheRee or something and then NeNe was hearing that SheRee was talking trash about her around town or something which meant- cue the fight!!!!! Within seconds of sitting down, the two women were at it and then someone named Tyrone was on Sheree's speaker phone and NeNe didn't want to hear it so she called her former assistant, who was also put on speaker phone, which meant no one was listening to anyone as voices were were raised and the "grown lady" conversation quickly became a mean moose mess. Pretty soon NeNe was declaring she was rich because she had cashed a Trump check, a Donald Trump check honey. And then she stormed off as SheRee was asking if she was so rich, why didn't she get her teeth fixed......... Oh NeNe, you take my breath away. Here's my rendition of the very rich NeNe who won't stab you in the back.... NO! She'll stab you in the chest. Her words.