Bring it!
Britney was seen in a clean, brushed, and shockingly presentable wig today. I take it as a sign that things are back on track. However, I kinda miss that two dollar hot pink mess she was running around town in last year. So I'd like to present you the........
Which look do you prefer?
It seems like just yesterday that a confused Britney Spears lazily lumbered around the VMA stage and surprised us all with her complete lack of preparedness. That performance basically summed her up at that moment. Unrehearsed. Dazed. Unfocused. Lost.
I began the above illustration just moments after that disastrous routine. Click here to see what I wrote back then and to read all your great comments. I should say that I started after I shook off the shock at what I had just watched. How'd it happened? The VMA's had always been the perfect vehicle for Britney to dance up a storm and lip sync her little heart out. Sad. That night I truly was looking forward to doing a welcome back Britney illustration, but.................
Recent photos have shown signs of her getting it together or at least keeping the crazy under wraps, and keeping her undies on. A round of applause. The next true step in her trying to repair some of the damage will be when she opens this year's VMA's. What will she do? She's not performing. I just hope whatever she does, whatever she's wearing, and whether of not she's wearing blue contacts- I simply hope she does a good job. I'm totally feeling a parental vibe, but I do hope she gets it together.
I may be feeling parental as I'm at my sister and her husband's home this week. I'm painting a mural in their 9 year's room and I've been doing some very light minivan duties. I got to pick up their 12 year old from school today and have helped see them off for their morning carpool. Good times. Will be back to more regular postings shortly.
I will begin by saying that I feel a little gross about doing this illustration. The last few weeks, I have tried to stay away from drawing Britney Spears and her unraveling. I really have. I look at her and wonder what the hell has happened, what is happening, and what will happen????????? Even people I know who could care less about celebrity gossip have been asking me about her. Britney's clearly blazing an erratic trail towards somewhere, I'm afraid, may be really bad.
While in line at the grocery earlier today, I took survey of all the tabloid covers. Nearly everyone of them featured Britney with some sort of caption about her bizarre behavior or her tragic meltdown. The cover that really stood out was US Magazine with the words TIME BOMB. That seems to sum her up best to me at the moment. Hopefully someone, besides Dr Phil, can knock some sense into her before that Brit Brit bomb blows.
Ink on paper with digital color and a hope she pulls her head outta her ass.
I just can't bring myself to paint Britney at the moment. I'm awfully tempted to draw her in a straight jacket or coming out of a Koo Koo clock..... but I just can't do it. What did catch my attention in this whole Brit Brit mess, was that always messy and attention seeking Bobby Trendy. As soon as I saw that photo of him staging his own candle lit vigil for the Brits, I had the idea of he and Chris Crocker battling it out for who's the bigger Britney bonehead. I think it's a tie.
16 Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant. Mama Spears must be so proud. How long before Jamie Lynn abandons her panties and shaves her head?
I received my first Christmas Card of the season this past Saturday from my friend Bobbi who resides in a female correctional facility. Thanks Bobbi and I hope the meds are working. Bobbi reminds me a bit of Britney Spears. Both often wear wigs and both freak out at the site of a birthday cake. Separated at birth these two? Could be. Since I'm unfortunately not on Brit's Christmas mailing list, I can only guess that this is what her card may look like.
If you have a friend or loved one that's hard to shop for, I have the perfect gift for you. The Britney Lighter. And the best part is that it's free! Just go to your local convenience store or gas station and when the cashier isn't looking, sneakily stick one in your pocket. But make sure the surveillance camera aren't on. Happy Holidays from Pretty On The Outside and Brit Brit.
More celebrity Christmas Cards to follow..........................
Britney Spears and I are the same sign, which makes me smile. Happy Birthday to my Sagittarius sister. Let's make a pact Brit for the coming year. Just you and me. We'll both wear underwear, promise to keep our extensions washed, we won't wear blue contacts, and have fewer frappuccinos. I'll keep up my end of the deal, can you keep up yours?
Good luck in your 26th year Britney.
What if Project Runway allowed Britney Spears to be a contestant on this new season? Imagine the possibilities. It seems like Brit could handle last night's challenge. Right? The contestants were given access to a variety of luxurious fabrics and instructed to create an outfit that best expresses who they are as a designer. Britney's not technically a designer, but she does like some rather unusual outfits. Could she deliver an amazing look?
Britney's sensibilities would certainly draw her to the dazzling silk chiffon Starbucks print fabric as well as the sumptuous cotton-poly blend Cheetos material. The other designers would work feverishly up until the very last minute of the challenge. Brit's outfit would take about ten minutes to construct.
She'd cut half a yard of the Starbucks fabric, crudely safety pin it together, and tie two yards of the Cheetos material on as a train. Simply, chic, timeless.
Britney would also be very involved in the styling of the look. She'd demand the Tres Semme hairstylist to cut off the model's hair and replace it with some greasy blond weave. Brit would fun up the look with a pair of sunglasses at night, pimp hat, and some always fashionable Ugg boots.
Here's how the judging would go:
Nina Garcia fashion director of Elle magazine: Britney, tell us about your look.
Britney Spears fashion icon: Um.... I wanted to make somethin that's easy to get out of. Somethin I could totally party in.
Michael Kors fashion designer: Britney, how long did you spend on your outfit?
Britney Spears bad driver: Um... I kinda spent a while on it. But I stopped cause I wanted a fra.... frappa.... frappacc.... a coffee drink. And then I got bored makin it, so I stopped again. And then it was happy hour at some Mexican restaurant. And I had a visit with my Kids so I waved hi to them as I went shopping. What was the question?
Monique Lhuiller guest judge and fashion designer: Britney, I'm sorry but this outfit is a disaster. It's poorly constructed. (Britney pouts) There's no wow. (Britney scratches her weave and smells her fingers) And worst of all Britney..... your model isn't wearing any underwear. (Britney smiles)
Britney Spears coffee drinker: Um... she's not wearing underwear cause that's my signature look.
Heidi Klum hottest MILF ever: Britney this outfit leaves nothing to the imagination and redefines bad taste. We're sorry Britney. You're out. You must leave the runway. Auf Wiedersehen.
Britney Spears poet: Eat it, lick it, snort it, fuck it!
My blog buddy 14 at Gallery Of The Absurd imagined what it have looked like if P Diddy had been a contestant as well. :)
Britney just uttered these magical words.... Eat it, Lick it, Snort it, Fuck it. I think those words mixed with some scrolling would make a wonderful arm band tattoo. I also could see that new catch phrase lovingly written in calligraphy on old parchment paper, or perhaps embroidered on a pillow. There are lots of options. Thanks Brit for those words of wisdom.
I really thought I was going to be able to go at least another week before I drew Britney Spears. That ended when I saw photos of Britney in a $2 hot pink wig from last night. I'd like to think that she was trying costume looks for Halloween, but I doubt it. Yesterday was a full one for the Brit. Not only did she drive around in that wig but she also turned herself into the LAPD last night. While we all await her actual fugshot mugshot, I decided to make my own version. I bet the real one isn't so far off.
Ink on paper with digital color.
