Pretty On The Outside

According to Alexis Bellino, there's a "white elephant" in the room. :)

The OC gals decided to take a trip to Costa Rica which means it's time for out-of-the-country-crazy and that can often be the very best kind.  This is an aside--- I've flown from LA to San Jose, Costa Rica and it's a little over 5 hours.  So why the women all had to fly to Miami to meet Vicki and then fly to Costa Rica making it an eleven travel time is beyond me.  Was Vicki being held for ransom?  I don't get it.  Does Vicki need the support of four contractually-obligated women while travelling internationally?  Personally, I'd be annoyed but then again if Bravo was flipping the bill for my vacation time--- I'd buck up and go along for the ride.  The gals behaved for the most part like over the hill spring breakers--- screaming and wooping it up and begging for attention all while dressed like sorority girls in Cancun.  I will say that Heather stood apart in terms of style and behavior and she offered some of the best elements to the show.  When Vicki was woo-hooing and screaming that her "love tank" was full, Heather appropriately responded 'what?' with a wtf sort of tone.  After more screaming and drinking and odd outfit choices, the gals ended up zip-lining which looks like a blast.  An absolute blast.  There was some stud working the zip-line station and seemingly without asking he braided Alexis's horse tail of extensions and it triggered the best reaction from Vicki.

Bless you Vicki..... don't ever stop doing what you do.  This is another aside, Costa Rica was colonized by Spain over 500 years ago and that equals hot.  Let me tell you, the Costa Ricans as a population are very attractive---- I'm generalizing but hopefully doing that in a complimentary way is alright.  So that Costa Rica stud braided Alexis's mane of Cabbage Patch doll extensions and put her in a harness and she winced, wheezed, and seemed to fully enjoy the treatment.  Note to self: next time I go back there I'll hot glue gun some fried blond doll hair to my head so I can get man-handled by the zip-line dude.  But I digress......

Further nonsense ensued and then we ended up at what we were waiting for--- the Alexis pretentiousness-intervention.  If you know this show, then you know Alexis likes to talk about what they have: tons of expensive cars, one giant house after the next, mountains of jewelry, and other stuff and most of the other cast mates have had enough.  In a previous episode, Heather's adorable husband Terry let it slip that thought Alexis was phony.  A judgement yes, but it was clear he was being funny in a candid moment.  Tamra seizing that little nugget of judgement showcased Terry's opinion to Alexis during their meeting last week.  Anyone else want to stun-gun themselves right about now?  So at that Costa Rican dinner table as the gals assembled it was obvious there was tension.....  something needed to be addressed.  One might say there was an "elephant" in the room or even a "pink elephant" and that of course would be that fact that Terry had rendered a harsh opinion about her.  Alexis said there was a "white elephant" in the room, not a pink one or even a regular one....... a white one.  :)  Heather did a good job at being clear about her opinion of Alexis's behavior and Tamra really went hard with hers.  Gretchen, who's typically on Alexis's side, agreed with the women she can come off phony.  Alexis said that yes, they have a lot of cars and art and that her husband Jim has made money off buying and selling cars and Vicki said she wouldn't weigh in on the topic and that lasted about two seconds and the she weighed in.  As the fighting continued, I really stopped caring.  I was just thinking that Alexis said there was a "white elephant" in the room and this is coming off the previous episode when she said Costa Rica was in Mexico.  :)  Oh Alexis, I'm so happy you're on this show.  

Here's my depiction of Alexis and the white elephant.

It's drawn with ink on grey paper and colored in photoshop.  While on the topic of Alexis, please have a look at my site Jesus Barbie.  :)  And check out my facebook page too if you like.

Thanks!

Jesus Barbie.com

You've heard the term "Jesus Barbie" on Bravo from several people. First time came from Tamra Barney of the Real Housewives of Orange County in reference to cast member Alexis Bellino. The thing is, I coined that term. In a posting on my blog Pretty On The Outside back in 2009, I introduced the expression. Tamra Barney actually got the name from my site and acknowledged that on her Bravo blog. Thanks Tamra! It's pretty wonderful to have a funny idea, put it on a blog, and then have it become part of the Bravo vernacular. I set up a site showcase my drawings of her and my other Bravolebrities. Please have a look:
http://www.jesusbarbie.com/

American Idol finale. It's ALL about Fantasia Barrino's jumpsuit and Jennifer Holiday's song delivery.

Do any of you watch that American Idol mess anymore?  I can't help myself....... I still catch an occasional episode and curiosity took over last night to check out the finale.  Don't worry, there are no spoilers about the results.  What I'd like to briefly highlight were my two favorite moments.  True to finale-form, the top contestants were paired with "real" singing "stars" for some sort of awkward performance.  I like Joshua Ledet and his singing style.  Any song of his takes you to church, lays it's hands on you, and baptizes you in the fire of his voice!  He's fairly over the top but hey, I like that.  Joshua was all set for a "moment" when he took the stage to sing Elton John's "Take Me To The Pilot" and he sounded and looked great.  And then they unleashed the Kraken.  Fantasia Barrino who looked like a retired NFL linebacker pressed into a size 8 Bob Mackey catsuit was giving Hulk-realness as the seams had busted wide open exposing some juicy leg and arm meat.  And that weave to the floor didn't softly the look one bit.  Here's what I'm talking about.

Oh my.  That look is wrong in every direction.

Alexis Bellino thinks Costa Rica is in Mexico.

After that title, I should really just end this posting..... how can it get any better?  Goodness empty-headed gracious.  Ok, so the show started at Vicki's office and they showed an itty bit of the painting I did for her years ago.  Brooks brought her coffee and pastries and that southern charm which is hard to tell if he's a snake oil salesman or sincere.  "Darlin, I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you..... What your atm pin?"  I hope for her that he's a good guy.

Next we have Heather up in LA "lunching" with an actress friend and it turns out she actually did act. With the bevy of nit-wits that have been on this show, I figured she'd invented a back story about her acting career but hey--- she was telling the truth.  We did have to hear again how hard it was for her to move from NYC to LA and then to the OC.  And I felt for her.  It's so sad she has to live in that mansion with a husband who adores her and have an elevator.  It seems really f*&king hard, right?  It must be so taxing wondering if she should take the stairs or the elevator in her own home.  Oh what a nightmare I have to walk around my 10,000 sq ft home and wear designer cloths and have a makeup artist....... oh the problems to have.  I do have to admit she's becoming a little more likable.  That husband of her's Terry, he's a peach.  He's a charmer and I'd take his last name happily.  David Dubrow.  Pretty On The Outside Dubrow.  Both have a ring to them.  And I'd have changed my name right off the bat.... not wait 12 years or however long it's been.  Terry, I love you.  Call me.

Next we had Gretchen and Slade and honestly, I don't really care.  Is that wrong?  It's the same thing year after year and nothing changes.  What I am interested in is the mountain of makeup she applies to her face.  Here's what I'm talking about.

This is first thing in the morning makeup for Gretchen.  Slades having his morning coffee talking about his problems and Gretchen's sporting an endless buffet of foundation, blush, fixing powder, eyeshadows, blush, spackle, primer, varnish, potting soil, shoe polish, charcoal, and instant coffee grounds on her face.  Oh Gretchen, please don't ever stop heaping on the face cake.  Enough about them.

Now onto my two favorite parts of the show and both involve Alexis Bellino.  Thank you Bravo.  Alexis shot the cover for a magazine no one has heard of.  I think a Bravo producer made up that magazine and she only heard "cover" and was there.  According to Alexis, her clothing line is doing fabulous and flying off the shelves of somewhere.  Apparently she has two lines.  One co-designed by her housekeeper Towel and the other she exclusively designed.  I think they're both called Alexis Couture.  Right?  Or is one called Alexis Couture by Alexis and the other is called Alexis Couture by Alexis and Towel?  Or Is it Alexis Couture and Alexis Couture?  :)  Or is it Alexis Couture and Alexis Not Couture?  I'm so confused.  But what I do know is that her clothes are as fashionable as Jim Bellino is fit.  Maybe her clothing line should be called, "Oh my God, what have I done?" or "Forgive me Father." :)

There are so many things that Alexis should be embarrassed about: those ridiculously huge boobs, that cascading doll hair, that husband of hers, her birthday toast, her hosting skills, her clothing line, but the one that tops all came courtesy of Vicki G.  My sweet Vicki G.  Miss Gunvalson is planning a "girls trip" to Costa Rica and in a confessional scene moment Alexis said the following quote: "Costa Rica is in Mexico, so it's South."  Ha ah ha ah ha ha ha!!!!!!!!  The camera person should win an emmy for not falling over laughing and knocking the camera off its stand.  Oh Alexis, you've secured a spot on this franchise for as long as you like!  

So the next best part came at the end of the show when Tamra, who's looking pretty hot I have to say, was summoned by Alexis to meet at some restaurant to discuss their "issues."  And basically Tamra told Alexis that she's a fake bitch and she doesn't like her and she'll comment about her if asked.  That seems pretty clear.  Alexis had the following look during the entire conversation.

I actually had the same look when she said the line about Costa Rica.  

Thank you Alexis for keeping me interested in this show.  Please don't ever go........

If you like, you can like me here. 

You've heard the term "Jesus Barbie" on Bravo from several people. First time came from Tamra Barney of the Real Housewives of Orange County in reference to cast member Alexis Bellino. The thing is, I coined that term. In a posting on my blog Pretty On The Outside back in 2009, I introduced the expression. Tamra Barney actually got the name from my site and acknowledged that on her Bravo blog. Thanks Tamra! It's pretty wonderful to have a funny idea, put it on a blog, and then have it become part of the Bravo vernacular. I set up a site showcase my drawings of her and my other Bravolebrities. Please have a look:
http://www.jesusbarbie.com/

David Gilmore + Mike Ruiz

File this posting under show and tell..........  I recently had the pleasure of doing body painting for photographer Mike Ruiz.  He's working on a rather elaborate project which involves a large array of body painters, makeup artists, and a slew of buff male models.  I painted two models in one day in an LA photo studio and I can certainly say there are much worse ways to spend a day.  Mike took photos constantly during the project and he shared the following image on his facebook page.  This photo is about 15-ish minutes into a 3 and a half hour session.

When this project is published, I'll share those images here.  By the way, I have a TON of body painting images which I'm saving them for something very specific.  I will share some though soon.

Thanks for looking at my show and tell.

Teresa Giudice and her appropriately titled phone.

What to even say about Teresa Giudice at this point? I don't imagine we're going to discover that she's actually a reasonable person who listens to an opposing view and can change her opinion.  Or am I wrong?  I think her bedazzled cell phone may just say it all.  

And their poor kids............ Apples usually don't fall too far from trees.

Ink on paper with digital color.

Michael Fassbender

Michael Fassbender seems to be everywhere theses days and I'm not complaining.  I made this illustration months ago and forgot to post here.  It is completed with pencil on paper and digital color.  

You can see more here.

Rest In Peace Donna Summer.

I've been busy with a couple projects which is why there's been a shortage of postings lately.  I took a break a couple hours ago to see what was happening in the blogosphere and saw that Donna Summer had passed away.  She was only 63.  Donna was one of those celebrities that I thought would be around forever.... like a Gladys Knight or a Dolly Parton.  So so so sad.  I made this illustration of her with ink on paper and then finished with digital color as I remembered so many happy times out dancing with friends to her music.  

Rest In Peace Donna Summer.  

Andy Cohen's Afrohen

Oh my! Did you see Watch What Happens last night? Andy Cohen's mom brought a clip of his magic afro from when he was in his early 20s. Love a fro! I think he should him that beat back. I reworked an existing illustration to bring you his Afrohen. Mazel pick included.

:)

Million Dollar Listing on Bravo

I've only seen one episode of Bravo's Million Dollar Listing and I hadn't planned on ever drawing those guys. About 45 minutes ago I came across a photo of them in an article about their appearance on WWHL after tonight's finale and the guy on the right's face was just too tempting not to draw. I started doodling and above is what I came up with. Can't help myself---- I've got a reality TV drawing problem! :)
Ink on 9" x 12" paper.