Alexis, Vicki, and Heather..... oh my!

Oh lordy....... this is late.  Like, really really really late.  I drew the three caricatures last wednesday for this posting but then life in the way.  Nothing bad fortunately..... just stuff I had to attend to.  I was going to just scrap this but as I mentioned I drew three images so the posting must go on......

The show began with the aftermath of the most mind-numbing, childish, ridiculous scenarios from the previous episode. If you don't watch this show, let me briefly explain.  And remember these are adults.  Tamra who's probably 44 and her boyfriend Eddie is probably 39 were heading to Catalina Island along with Vicki (ageless) and her boyfriend Brooks who's like maybe 44.  The two couples were waiting for the island boat shuttle and decided to pass the time doing shots.  The couples were seated from left to right: Eddie, Tamra, Vicki, and Brooks.  Eddie and Vicki were reaching across Tamra to high-five about being the same zodiac sign and Tamra got jealous that her two friend's hands briefly touched so she did what any 44 year woman would do in that situation--- she grabbed Vicki's boyfriend's hand and put it on her boob.  Tamra clearly packed her suitcase exclusively with crazy for the weekend trip.  Eddie freaked out over the boob grab.  Tamra huffed and puffed and cried and shrieked and Vicki and her beau looked confused.  Rightfully so.  Here's Vicki's face during that encounter and my apologies to her for this drawing....

New gal Heather wants us to know a few things: she from New York, she's picky, she's from New York, she's an actress ha ha ha ha ha, she's picky, and she's from New York.  Oh, she's from New York, got it?  She went to dinner with her husband and was bothered that the waitress handed her the menu partially open--- and I'm outraged that waitress wasn't fired on the spot. Doesn't that waitress know you can't hand a New York actress currently residing in Orange County a menu somewhat open?  That just wouldn't happen in New York.  We also learned Heather sends her food back 90% of the time which makes her a fucking cunt.  I'm not apologizing.  The couple discussed Vicki's cajun-themed party which Terry (Heather's husband) referred to as being "low rent" which makes him a fucking cunt too.  There you have it, two cunts out to dinner.  And as expected, Heather sent her food back.  Sigh......

Gretchen and Slade walked their dogs which was the setup for Slade to announce his new career--- stand-up comedian.  Oh Slade, I feel like I need to send you a fruit arrangement or some flowers for the gift you're about to give us all.  

Heather wanted to get the gals together for a painting party and I do have to give her credit for originality for not defaulting to the usual contrived stupidity: a bj party, a sextoy party.......  

Speaking of unoriginal, Tamra and Gretchen decided to further their fledgling friendship by going to a sex shop.  Yawn.  I feel this friendship has an expiration date which is rapidly approaching.  

And on the subject of expiring friendships, Vicki's and Tamra's seems to be souring.  At Heather's painting party, Tamra and Gretchen were flaunting their new relationship like it was a new pair of enhanced tits and like those, this union is all for show and fake.  I don't remember at what point during the party Heather made this face, but here goes....

Actually, I think it was when she was lecturing the gals that as a New Yorker, hope you didn't forget, that moved to LA and then to the OC that there are no nice restaurants in Orange County which is why she and some girlfriends are planning to open one.  That statement ruffled Alexis's feathers.  Here's her reaction....

Oh these people are endlessly entertaining......  I will say that these ladies did make some nice paintings during the class.  

Ok that's all...... as I watched the show six days ago I've forgotten most of what happened.  Fortunately my drawings are a little reminder of some of the high/ low points. 

All drawings are done with micron pen on pink paper with digital color.

 

Comments

[Lula]

If Heather isn't the chick in the Juvaderm ads in Redbook and Ladies' Home Journal, I'll eat my hat. (I'm not wearing a hat, but she IS the Juvaderm chick.)

[borgqueen]

I think the saddest part about this episode was Peggy leaving the show. I liked Peggy and appreciated her showing her struggle with post-partum depression and anxiety. Kick Alexis out and give me back Peggy.

[Bryan]

Great Recap and even better illustrations, you didn't leave anything out of importance.

[Amber]

not sure if anyone else noticed or watched Bridal Plasty.... but I think Heather's hubby was the plastic surgeon on that show

[I'm ashamed I love this show]

Few things...

1) Did anyone else get the feeling vibe Tamra was crying out of fear? Eddies eyes said 'your pimp slapping awaits as soon as these cameras are gone you WHORE!'

2) Vikki...really? This guy? Really? His cock must be HUGE.

3) Bye Peggy. Honestly, I think if it really did play out this way, Peggy should have said something to Jesus Barbie awhile back. Not cool.

4) Heather has '2 more years until my pre-nup expires' written all over her!

This season is off to a lethargic start. Maybe its me...but it feels like the end for this show. Can't talk now, I'm sort of teary eyed....

[karyn]

@ Ashamed: Maybe why that whole Tamra/Eddie scene made my stomach turn. She DID seem a bit afraid of him. I always wonder about women (or men) who are so afraid to be alone they move in a blink to the next relationship. She claims Simon was abusive...hard to break that pattern.

I really hate that "C" word, it's just such an awful way to refer to a woman. But...when you applied that same "C" word to Dr. Droopy Dog Dubrow, well, it made more sense because these two are one in the same fame seeking whores (ha ha, another awful word usually aimed at women...) The good doctor not only was on Bridal Pasty, but also on "The Swan"...ick...poo.

Here I'm going to be outright nasty...that doctor needs to get his nose fixed. Physician heal thyself. He is tough on the eyes. BTW, if you Google "Heather Paige Kent (hmmm...dare I say it? Kunt?) photo after photo shows her desperate desire to be famous. Yeesh. Get rid of Heather, bring back Peggy who was one of the most real housewives I've ever seen in the OC.

[karyn]

Oops...forgot to mention David, as always you are spot on in your character studies both in written word and in your artwork. You should get an honorary degree in Sociology...you really get these people. :o)

[borgqueen]

@I'm ashamed - I too felt like Eddie manhandles Tamra. He was very "gruff" with her and her eyes told all. I am sure Simon was physically abusive to Tamra too.

Yes Peggy should have fessed up about Jim but Jim should have done so too. I dont understand why all the blame is on Peggy and not on holier-than-thou Jim.

[Susan]

If anyone follows Heather's blog on BRAVO (i can't explain why i read this stuff but everyone needs a secret vice), she claims she never watched even one episode of the OC Housewives prior to joining the show. OMG you are so full of shit!!!! You don't make an investment of money or time or reputation for that matter without doing some research. She seems very insincere and calculating, unlike the very insincere and clueless Alexis. Or the sincere and clued in (to a certain degree) Vicky. Or the sincere and clueless Tamra. However Gretchen is queen of the insincere snakes. She knew full well that her boytoy's torturous attenpt at comedy was going to sabatoge any hope of getting off the women's shit list. She and Slade belong there for life. Her attitudes and behavior (and wardrobe) is mind boggling. Much to the public's amusement she's in for a long, sad life.

[dbr]

You forgot to mention that Heather is Jewish and like all Jews on TV, this is important point of pride / shame? Is it important for us to know? "I'm an actress, mother, wife of plastic surgeon, entrepreneur, restraunteur, new Yorker .. Oh and I'm Jewish btw.. Who the hell cares? I'm a software engineer, participate in non profit marketing, married, I meditate, have a passion for fine teas...oh...and I am a proud white Anglo Protestant
Wtf?!?

[diane]

Funny - while I was watching Tam-retch and Eddie I was thinking that some things never change and this looks exactly like some of her scenes with Simon. I never thought about the abuse angle - just figured that Eddie is another guy who has to deal with Tamra's drama.

I don't like the c-word either - but I have to agree about Heather. Trying desperately to like her because it would be nice to have one truly likeable character on that show, but I can't help but compare Heather's attitude to Marlo's constant etiquette lessons.

[Christi]

I feel I have to correct your guess on ages. Tamera I feel is closer to 50 than 44. Eddie, based on maturity, is probably somewhere between 21 and 25. And Brooks will never see 50 again. We may have to bump up the ole AGE-O-METER even further for Vickie.