Pretty On The Outside

Oh hey Kyle Richards, let's have a look at you.

I'm slowly but surely working on a group portrait of those Beverly Hills gals.... tons of sketches and doodles and silliness.  I'm starting with Miss Splits herself, Kyle Richards.  She's Paris Hilton's aunt and her husband is a big hunk of a man and she likes to do the splits.  That's what I know.  Here goes......

 It's completed with archival pen and ink on archival 11" x 8.5" white drawing paper.  Did I mention it's all archival materials?  That means your great great grandchildren can appreciate this drawing.  So think of those grand kids and buy this on my etsy shop here.  And you can like it here.... if you like.

Happy holidays!  

 

It's all about Kim Richard's disheveled ponytail and aggressively applied blush on The Really Ridiculous Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Well....... it's not really all about those things but I would like to discuss.  Before I go any further I'd like to say Happy Holidays.  Wishing you joy and well-applied blush in the new year.  Back to the Beverly Hills BS........ I drew the following image of Kim Richards right after that last episode which seems like an eternity ago.  I made it, posted it on my fb page, and then got side tracked with Christmas stuff, family stuff, birthday stuff for my guy, and other such stuff and never got around to sharing it here.  Whoopsy! 

At this point, that last episode is just a flickering memory of sitting in my livingroom, guzzling a carafe of cabernet, eating dark chocolate, and wondering what in the hell was up with Kim Richard's deep fried hair (I know they sell conditioner in Beverly Hills) and why she was using mahogany shoe polish as blush?  It's pretty clear Kim is off her rocker and taking comfort in a number of substances but c'mon girl, use a brush, get some Pantene, and try to pick a shade of blush that's not the color of a new pair of penny loafers.  Is that too much to ask for?  And if Kyle is such a good sister, can't she go to Rite Aid and nab Kim some VO5 hot oil hair-repair treatment and a Wet-n-Wild magenta blush?  My above illustration was from the fight she picked with Brandi.  Yes the fight between Kim and Brandi will go on as long as these two are on this show, it's just how it is. It's like Tamra vs Gretchen.  It's like Jill vs Bethenny.  It's like NeNe vs everyone.........  I gotta say the visual of Kim: 5'2", scrappy, weathered, wobbly, confused, relentless, slurring, haggard, with that broom-bristle hair fashioned into a high-pony and sad-clown hooker makeup against Brandi: 6'2", lean, bra-less, fairly calm, and with appropriately-applied makeup and well-conditioned hair, was a stark contrast.  Kim's argument was as put together as she was.  So not very.  As Kim poked her bony finger up into Brandi's face and kept telling Brandi how awful she was and how bad it was that a pretty girl like her would use such bad language (Brandi likes the f word as much as she hates to wear a bra) I wondered if I had to pick a side, could I? 

I guess I like Kim because she's a trainwreck.  It's terrible to admit that but that's why we love these shows, right?  Kim delivers the crazy.  I might like Brandi in another season or two but the jury is still out on her for me.  So I guess I'm Team Kim.  Yikes!!!!!!!!  So in solidarity with Kim I'm off to contour my cheeks with some chocolate frosting, wash but not condition my hair, and pick a fight with someone twice my height and half my age.  :)  Silly, silly, silly.

Illustration of Kim completed with ink of paper and digital color.

XoXo

Happy New Year!

Camille's bff DD's nose vs Taylor's lips on The Really Ridiculous Housewives of Beverly Hills.

How do you make sense out of nonsense?  Anyone..... anyone.........  I gave up a long time ago trying to figure out why I still like these shows.  I can't help myself but I do and I suppose I justify my viewing time by drawing them.  Especially the wackiest ones and the craziest circumstances. 

Let's fast forward thru the show to the end cause that's where we get the big pay-off.  Brandi is desperately trying to make an impact on: her cast-mates, the viewing audience, Bravo TV, slut pigs, people who opt to go bra-less, anyone, anyone, anyone in order to be back next season.  So she threw a party at a friend's lovely Malibu home and all hell broke loose which made her nipples rock hard, as we could see.  One by one the ladies arrived and wine was served and dancing was done and Kyle did the splits and Taylor and Camille awkwardly hugged.  At some point Camille's girlfriend DD who must be vying for a bigger spot on next season got all in Taylor's face and questioned why Taylor was ignoring her friend-employer-lover(?)'s attempt to make amends.  Oh boy.  Poor Taylor slowly began to unravel as DD's nose beak pecked at her massive lips.  DD who's been fairly mild these last two season went berserk hounding Taylor about why she's not making up with Camille and Taylor lost it and started screaming and slobbering and struck out at everyone.  A few attempts to push DD were unsuccessful as she kept coming back to yell at Taylor more and that only worsened the dire situation so Brandi feeling like a big girl told Taylor to leave "her house".  I think she meant to say, my friend's house--- but she was caught up.  So Taylor and Kyle left as did Adrienne.  DD told Camille she loved her and tried grabbing her boobs but Camille whispered not while the cameras are rolling.  And then it was all over.  For now.  Darn you Bravo..... my addiction to your programming is as big as Taylor's lips.  :)

Ink and pen on paper with digital color.

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In celebration of Phaedra's mmm-hmm face.

There are lots of things to enjoy about The Real Housewives of ATL:

*Sheree pretending to build her dream home.... she is an "actress" after all and I believe the "Chateau Sheree" storyline is one long improv exercise.

*The nightclub complete with a VIP section that Peter is launching in a neighborhood which by all accounts is in the hood.  I understand if there's a beautiful old building in a sketchy area and you're hoping to help transition that part of town.  But Peter's bar looks like it was previously a kinkos and all he did was hang some Ikea curtains and a giant photo of Cynthia on the wall.  Hey.... maybe it's still part kinkos and he just printed that over-sized image there.  Very resourceful.

*Pregnant Kim.

*Nene showing all the signs of being a diva moose.

*Anything Kandi.  And of course mama Joyce.

But my favorite thing of all is Phaedra's face when she lets out an mmm-hmm sound at something which excites her.  That mug gets all squished and her lips almost double in size.  I like the soft, quiet, and drawn-out mmmmmm-hmmmmms, her shout it at Jesus MMM-HMMS!!!, and just her regular old mmm-hmms like she's agreeing with you.  They're all good and all very welcome.  Thank you Phaedra for being so entertaining.  Can I get an a-mmm-hmm-men?! 

Ink on paper with digital color.

If you like, please click on over and "like" my facebook page.  Thanks!