Oh hey... I'm a bit (or a lot) behind on posting this. Sorry but free-lance duties called and I had to answer. Soooooooooooo what in big-lipped, frozen-faced heck happened this week in the staged lives of these BH gals? Well, there was a mini face lift, a child's party was planned, Taylor and Russel had a dinner party, Lisa Vanderpump's daughter Pan-cake-dora had an over-the-top Moroccan-ish themed engagement party complete with belly dancers, a spastic mermaid, and a camel, and and and we got to meet Kim's secret beau! Party!!!!! And at one point fun-faced gal-pals Adrienne and Lisa made the expressions below.
To be honest though, that Maloof woman's face is completely frozen solid so for her just opening her eyes wide is about as dynamic as it gets. Taylor's face below the eyebrows however is still capable of forming some amazing contortions. Those lips!
The show began with a very glossy shot of Lisa Vanderpump driving around in her convertible making some staged phone calls in regards to her daughter Pound-cake-dora's engagement party. "No one answers their phone in Beverly Hills", Lisa guffawed as she reached Adrienne's voice mail. Next call went to Kyle who did in fact pick up the call and curiously she was wearing a Raiders of the lost Ark hat. Why was she wearing a safari hat? Why not! Kyle agreed to attend Lisa's daughter Pan-au-chocolat-dora's engagement party because I don't think Kyle has a lot to do. Next call went to Taylor who also answered the phone. Hmmm..... so some people in Beverly Hills do answer their phones? Prior business-gone-bad shit had gone down between Muhammed (whatever with the spelling) the host of Pan-full-of-gravy-dora's party and Russel, Taylor's husband. Taylor agreed to come alone. I don't remember if Lisa called Kyle (?) but Kyle was too busy huffing glue and making crank calls doing other stuff to attend. Camille was away somewhere because this season I'm sure she signed a deal with Bravo to make her look good and to achieve that, she's barely on the show. Stage set for Pan-fried-chicken-dora's engagement party. Yawn.
Next Taylor and Dana went to select a cake for Taylor's daughter's ranch-themed birthday party. 200 guests and a $2,000 cake. Perfect for a 7 year old, right?
Next we saw Estella, the striking and attractive mother of Mauricio, having a consultation for a mini face lift with Adrienne's husband Paul and I wanted to yell NOOOOOOOO!!!! She looked great. Sure she had some wrinkles but humans are supposed to at a certain age. God forbid she comes out looking like that Maloof woman whose face is as supple as a golf ball. So Estella went through with the surgery and she looked like a tusken raider from Star Wars post-surgery. Happy Halloween! I don't get it....... I have a few friends who've done a little botox here and there and done in a limited amount I don't really see a problem with it. But a face lift.... I don't know. Does it make somehow look younger or does it just make them look like they've had plastic surgery? Is it really worth the pain, anguish, and possibility of something going wrong? Or having a face with the suppleness of a golf ball. Sorry, I had to use that line again.
What else? Taylor and Russel had Kyle and Maurico over for dinner and it was really creepy watching Russel knowing that he beat up Taylor shortly before he killed himself. Too weird to go into.....
On to the big event...... and no it wasn't Pan-seared-then-deep-fried-dora's engagement party-- NO! The big event was meeting Kim's secret beau and that segment was sponsored by Smirnoff Vodka. Or was that Coors Light in a can? You see Kim's erratic behavior isn't due to decades of drug and alcohol abuse...well maybe.....Kim's oddness is due to keeping her year-long romance from her friends and family. But why? Why keep that hiddne? Well, because her family is judgemental according to Kim. Kim's what... 45? 52? 58? How ever old she is she's old enough to date whoever she wants. Is she really afraid her new beau isn't Paris Hilton-worthy? Ugh. So we met her guy and what do we think of him? I'm going to reserve judgement and say that I hope he helps Kim with her "issues". This is a side note but I bet Kim is wild in bed. The crazy ones usually are.
The other big event was Pan-roasted-dora's engagement party. Sure there was a camel, and a mermaid who looked like she was having a seizure, a mail-order Russian child bride, attention-whores, rich people with horrible taste, and a number of other wild things but for me the attention-starved efforts of Kyle stole the show. At one point during the party there was a cluster of circus performers doing their Cirque Du Soleil best by forming a human tower and what did Kyle do? She spread her housewife legs and did the splits on their stage. Take that hired-for-the-night performers! Sure you've studied and honed your abilities but Kim can do the splits and she's rich so take that. Kyle, Kyle, Kyle..... it's all about Kyle. And to think Kim, you're concerned with Miss Splits approval of your new guy. Be out and proud with your crazy self Kim!
And that's about all I have to say. Here's my Adrienne and Taylor artwork prior to scanning it into my computer.
It's pen and ink on 9" x 12" paper. Here's a closer look pre-digital coloring.
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