Pretty On The Outside

The Real Donkey Booties of Atlanta!

This is a celebration of the "donkey booty" as brought to us by: Kandi, Phaedra, and Sheree. I do love an itty bitty waist and a round thing in my face! These glorious tushies were drawn with lots of love and lots of admiration.  Who doesn't enjoy a shapely backside?  I sure do!  On Sunday's episode of RHOATL those three gals went site-scouting for Kandi's 35th birthday party and they brought plenty of booty.  Here's some screen captures....

Damn!!!!!  Praise be the donkey booty.  Can I get an amen?  Seriously, I think all their rear ends are fantastic.

It's all about Lisa Vanderpump's reactions.

This is going to be the quickest of quickies....... as I watched last night's Real Housewives of BH, it wasn't Taylor's lips, or Camille's confrontation, or Adrienne's frozen-solid face, or Maurico riding the mechanical bull, or Paul riding the mechanical bull, or Brandi finally being off crutches, or Faye Resnick's bad style, or Ace Young's terrible song, or even Kim's icy reaction to Brandi that made the biggest impression on me.  No.  It was Lisa Vanderpump's side-eye reaction to everything her cast mates were saying and doing and so I had to draw it.

That's her "oh please darling" look. :)

This is an aside.... and I'm just making an observation.....  I've always been obsessed with plastic surgery and as the years tic on I understand the desire to want to retain a certain "freshness" in appearance.  Something I've seen a lot in Orange County and LA are those ladies whose skin is thoroughly weathered and sun-damaged and freckled and then they'll have a doll-like face that's been microdermabrasioned and lasered down to a porcelain like surface.  Not so fresh.  It's weird and fascinating.  There was a woman in the OC I did some work for and she had gigantic fake boobs that were always featured in extremely low-cut tops and her skin below her chin was like freckle-covered leather yet her face didn't have a wrinkle, a blemish, or even pores.  It was like she'd had a head transplant.  I'm not saying Lisa is that extreme but she had best be careful because it's clearly easy for these gals to go franken-filler and microdermabrasion-crazy.  Maybe that's why I'm hooked on them.  :)

Peter from The Real Housewives of Atlanta is PaPa Smurf!

As usual there was some fighting to be had on last night's Real Housewives of Atlanta.  Of course..... That's the fuel which powers the machine, however, this time it was two of the husbands going at it!  Joe Giudice and Joe Gorga must be so proud of their combative legacy.  So........  Kim and Kroy's baby shower which looked like it was held in a school gymnasium was the scene of the crime.  Seriously, I was looking for basketball hoops and bleachers.  Peter, Cynthia's husband, apparently was recently interviewed by Uptown Magazine and got all bitchy saying Sheree was unattractive and that he couldn't stand Phaedra (because of past foot-in-the-mouth stuff she'd said about him).  The plot thickens!  So...... everything was going smoothly at the baby shower held in the basketball court of a 24 Hour Fitness: Kim's oldest daughter gave a sweet speech that basically was about her mom's love of Kroy's sweet ass, Phaedra speculated that Kim's baby shower was awfully similar to her awful shower (really?  I didn't see a bouquet of white roses in Kim's wig, Dwight, or any ballerinas), and Kim's creepy dad awkwardly propositioned Phaedra about some business something or other.  Phaedra priceless expression during the exchange was equal parts "where's my mace" and "can I make some money off this crazy old geezer."  So........ Peter and Cynthia came rolling in some 5 hours late.  5 hours!!!!  Why even bother?  Well, they bothered because they both want to be on next season and the pathway to contract renewal is lined with drama. NeNe taught them well. 

After some bullshit excuses about why they were so late and a number of phony are you crazy bitch air-kisses, Peter and Cynthia sat down at the table with the rest of cast and cue the drama!  Apollo and Peter were seated next to each other for optimal tension.  Apollo who should be shirtless in scene began rubbing his hands like he was warming them up to throw a punch and Peter just had to chime in with a, "you got a problem?"  Apollo responded with an, "Aren't you too old?"  Peter's I think 50 and Apollo is I think 42.  42 and fine.  Peter jabbed back with a comment about Apollo's recent mistaken arrest (I didn't really understand what was up with that situation), a number of "Bring it" shouts were exchanged as the two rose to their feet, and the joint got so hot I thought some synthetic hair was going to melt!  But just when it looked like the two were going to come to blows, Apollo actually became the bigger, better, hotter man and walked away.  Well done Apollo.... now take your cloths off.  Sorry.  :)  And then Peter and Cynthia stormed off in a huff.  Cr-a-zy! 

The best part was Phaedra saying about Peter and his slew of children that he reminded her of the old man in the shoe, Uncle Ben, and the best ever---Papa Smurf.  Papa Smurf!!!!  And so I drew Peter as such.  Hope you'll like.

A print of this can be purchased on my etsy shop.  Please click here.

If you really like it, click onto my facebook page and have a "like" there.

Andy Cohen is a doll. A paper doll that is.

As a thank you to Mr Andy Cohen for giving me his mazel a few weeks back, I made some paper dolls of him. 

Please click on the image for a closer look.  The Andy doll begins with the hunky late night host in a pair of red trunks which probably is enough for most of you.  If you'd like to dress him up, you've got some options: a "Midnight Fun" crown, a tux, a casual look with an "I've Got The 411" tee, or the Jiggy costume he wore for Halloween as designed by Chris March. :)  Decisions.... decisions........

Thanks again Andy for the mazel!

If you're in the paper doll mode, please click these:

Jesus Barbie and her King.

The Giudice.

The Countess Luann.

Ramona.

Please visit my etsy shop to order some dolls of your own.  And lastly, please check out my facebook page.  Thanks!

 

Paper doll show and tell fun!

My very sweet and very lovely reader Maureen purchased some of my paper dolls for her friend Cheryl's birthday and here's the very lovely Cheryl opening her gift.......

Love it!  Clearly those paper dolls have gone to a good and loving home.  Hope you'll enjoy those paper dolls Cheryl and thanks so much Maureen for your purchase and for sending me that wonderful photo.

xoxo

Show and Tell fun with Mr Tim Gunn!

My lovely reader Laurie had commissioned me to draw the lovely Tim Gunn for her lovely sister Jennifer some time ago.  I recently received messages from both lovely sisters that Mr Gunn's book tour had come through Atlanta and Jennifer had taken her drawing to the signing and looky what she sent....

Beautiful all around!  Here's a closer look at the drawing...

When I sell a painting or a print or get commissioned to create something I always have a moment of wondering while standing in line at the post office as I'm about to ship it off: will my work be displayed in a home or an office or a home office, will it be matted and framed, will the buyer's friends and family like it .......  But when I sent this piece off I certainly didn't anticipate that it would come face to drawn face with the man himself! And apparently Tim had very nice things to say about the drawing which is icing on a very fabulous cake that has "major wow factor."  Thanks Laurie and Jennifer! And thanks Mr Gunn for just being you!

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Well hello Camille Grammer, I believe you just woke up and spoke up.

I'll get to Miss Grammer in a bit but I must start with the dysfunction that is the Richards sisters.  In one corner we have the obviously wacked, sun-damaged, bleach-damaged, scrawny, scrappy, slurring, oddity that can't let go of her long ago fame who goes by the name Kim.  The elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor with that one.  In the other corner, on the opposite end of the hair spectrum, we have the pampered brunette who seems to have it all together: a hot stud of a husband, loads of cash, a manner of speaking that isn't slurred, and conditioner in her shower.  This sister goes by the name Kyle.  But let me submit to you, you the blog readers in the jury of public opinion, that Kyle's elevator may go to the top floor but it still is a bumpy ride on the way up. 

The Real Housewives of Atlanta. NeNe is rich, FYI.

The ripe Georgian peaches returned the other evening and I was certainly happy to welcome them back.  These heavily made-up, funny, and often combative sweet-treats did not disappoint and one of them (NeNe) is rich.  Just so you know.  I'll get to the whole crew but I want to start with my favorite part of the show which involved NeNe Leakes doing what she does best on TV--- being a loud, aggressive brut towards another cast member.  That specific skill has made NeNe rich.  Just so you know.  SheRee who's surprisingly looking more like a woman this season (c'mon, she often looks like a Rupaul's Drag Race contestant) had invited NeNe to a pleasant looking restaurant for what would become an unpleasant shouting match in regards to something that had taken place before taping.  Apparently SheRee had asked NeNe to be a part of some event in Philly and had inquired about her appearance fee.  This is a quick aside, I drank almost a whole bottle of wine during the show so I don't really remember everything that went down.  So apparently NeNe had talked to the promoter of that event about getting SheRee at a lower rate or something which got back to SheRee or something and then NeNe was hearing that SheRee was talking trash about her around town or something which meant- cue the fight!!!!!  Within seconds of sitting down, the two women were at it and then someone named Tyrone was on Sheree's speaker phone and NeNe didn't want to hear it so she called her former assistant, who was also put on speaker phone, which meant no one was listening to anyone as voices were were raised and the "grown lady" conversation quickly became a mean moose mess.  Pretty soon NeNe was declaring she was rich because she had cashed a Trump check, a Donald Trump check honey.  And then she stormed off as SheRee was asking if she was so rich, why didn't she get her teeth fixed.........  Oh NeNe, you take my breath away.  Here's my rendition of the very rich NeNe who won't stab you in the back.... NO!  She'll stab you in the chest.  Her words. 

If you'd like to contribute to my art fund, you can order a print of Miss Leakes here.  Everything I make from print sales goes towards art supplies.  Thanks!

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Parties and Plastic surgery.

Oh hey... I'm a bit (or a lot) behind on posting this.  Sorry but free-lance duties called and I had to answer.  Soooooooooooo what in big-lipped, frozen-faced heck happened this week in the staged lives of these BH gals?  Well, there was a mini face lift, a child's party was planned, Taylor and Russel had a dinner party, Lisa Vanderpump's daughter Pan-cake-dora had an over-the-top Moroccan-ish themed engagement party complete with belly dancers, a spastic mermaid, and a camel, and and and we got to meet Kim's secret beau! Party!!!!!  And at one point fun-faced gal-pals Adrienne and Lisa made the expressions below. 

To be honest though, that Maloof woman's face is completely frozen solid so for her just opening her eyes wide is about as dynamic as it gets. Taylor's face below the eyebrows however is still capable of forming some amazing contortions.  Those lips!