How many times have you parted your shoulder-length dry and fly away hair down the middle, placed about a quarter of a million dollars worth of jewelry around your wrist, grabbed your miniature dog, and left your stone mansion to go across the street to your neighbor's stone mansion for an afternoon tutorial of how to prepare a chicken only to have that neighbor use anti-bacterial soap on the bird when cleaning it? Once or twice? And how many times has that neighbor's full time chef lurked in the hallway, scowling while mumbling something that sounded like "that god damn fake bitch and her god damn dog"? It's happened before right? Oh...... and how many times have you gone to visit an old friend who's clearly post retirement age, lives in a garishly-decorated 60,000 sq ft home, and you're introduced to his personality-free Russian mail-order child-bride? Once or twice? Well..... if you're Lisa Vanderpump, it's de rigueur.
Oh and how many times has a friend invited you over to their home for a "spa day" and the setup is nicer than most true spas? Once or twice? Well, Adrienne Maloof who already has a spray-tan room and some hydrating machine that costs 40K added three massage therapists, facial-mani-pedi givers and a bevy of other indulging, relaxing goodies to her repertoire. Oh and she had a couple stud host-helper dudes and Miss Maloof, I approve. That one guy had arms like Popeye.... did you see him? I love that Adrienne had a buffet fit for people who actually eat: fondue, cheeses, crackers, desserts galore, frozen yogurt (with the company's logo prominently displayed naturally), and other yumminess. The sad thing is with Taylor, Kim, Brandi, and Camille who clearly prefer to not eat--- most of that delicious buffet was wasted. I think Kyle and Dana probably had a bit to eat. So one by one the gals arrived, slipped into robes, and with their purses clutched tightly they mixed, mingled, relaxed, and then talked shit about Brandi-- the new girl. The women hate her because she called Kim on her erratic behavior at the previous party. Sure Brandi's shrill voice screaming "she's wasted.... she's on crystal meth...." was over the top but the Richards sisters weren't any better with their "you're a slut pig" and "shut your god damn mouth" and "I don't like you". It was a bunch of annoying, entitled bitches hollering at each other and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I love watching that sun-damaged Kim with her badly in need of conditioner hair and her bizarre behaviour, is that wrong? Those confessional scenes where her words are slurred and she's waving her arms around like she's about to get in a bar fight--- heaven! It's terrible but hell, I like it. I drew the wild and distracted Kim getting a hydrating facial with the 40K machine.
Ha ha ha ha ha!!!! Kim is my new favorite to draw. She's so animated and off her rocker which makes her the perfect subject to sketch. Oh that's crazy gals...... Adrienne tried her best to play peace maker by strongly urging Brandi apologize to Kyle but I don't know, I think the fight at the game night party was a "push" in terms of ignorance. All parties went too far but if apologies are being handed out, Kyle being the more rational out of the Richards pair should say sorry too. By the way, does anyone else think Kyle talks a little like her niece Paris Hilton? I notice a little of a baby talk voice here and there and that makes me want to plug my ears. Oh dear if there's one thing I can NOT stand it's that god damn fake Paris- Kim Kardashin girlie baby talk shit. For that baby talk voice alone I'm siding with Brandi. Not that she's that much better.... well... again, it's a push. I'm waiting for Kyle's apology. I will too say that I thought it was weird of Adrienne to not walk Brandi to the door as the gaggle of mean bitches snickered and laughed and said "don't let the door hit you in the ass" as she left. Bad mean bitches.
One more thing really quickly, isn't it interesting that Camille is entirely different this season? Did she blackmail the editors at Bravo because she seems almost likable. Maybe that's overreaching but she's doing a better job at being "normal". What did I just type?
That was scribbled quickly in a sketchbook and the final image is here.
Until we meet again......