Pretty On The Outside

Project Runway Season 9.

Please stop here if don't want to read what happened on last night's finale of Project Runway.  You can't unread what I'm about to write.  Ok..... here goes.  Joshua with his dramatic eyebrows, Anya with her magical accent that make me feel like I'm on vacation, Victor with his sheer and patterned clothing, and Kimberly with her urban-focused inspiration showed their collections, faced the judges, and one of them was named the winner of Project Runway on last night's show.  You can click here to visit the fabulous Blogging Project Runway to see the collections in entirety.  I'm curious what you all thought and do you believe the right person won? 

Anya all along was one of my favorites with her charming Caribbean accent, spot-on sense of pattern and fabric selection, and personal style.  She had only been sewing for something like 4 month prior to the competition and it showed- sort of.  We never saw a jacket or properly executed sleeve in any of her designs.  But what she did have was an undeniably gorgeous sense of fantasy vacation wear. 

Joshua was a rather intriguing character.  He's quite a handsome fellow with some of the oddest drawn-on eyebrows seen on a man.  His sense of style is all over the place.... some good and some what the f&%K designs but he's always entertaining. 

Victor seemed the clear cut winner to me.  His outfits were perfectly and I mean perfectly crafted and some of his outfits were simply incredible.  That opening piece had a nod to McQueen and I'd love to see someone wearing that.  I did think he'd win.

Kimberly, Kimberly, Kimberly..... I think she had some interesting pieces, that cream outfit was beautiful but overall I think she came up a little short.

So who won?  In what certainly was a giant upset, Anya in spite on being limited in sewing ability pulled out a victory and I screamed hurray!  So happy for her.  You can disagree and that's fine but I liked her collection a lot and I'm glad she won.  Here's her opening piece.

Just amazing!  I drew Anya this morning and here goes my rendition of the winning contestant drawn with pen and ink on 8.5" x 12" hot pressed watercolor paper.

I made her hair morph with the gorgeous fabric she used below.

Congrats to Anya. 

Please check me out on facebook here.

 

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: facials and cat-fights! And a pinch of New Jersey.

How many times have you parted your shoulder-length dry and fly away hair down the middle, placed about a quarter of a million dollars worth of jewelry around your wrist, grabbed your miniature dog, and left your stone mansion to go across the street to your neighbor's stone mansion for an afternoon tutorial of how to prepare a chicken only to have that neighbor use anti-bacterial soap on the bird when cleaning it?  Once or twice?  And how many times has that neighbor's full time chef lurked in the hallway, scowling while mumbling something that sounded like "that god damn fake bitch and her god damn dog"?  It's happened before right?  Oh...... and how many times have you gone to visit an old friend who's clearly post retirement age, lives in a garishly-decorated 60,000 sq ft home, and you're introduced to his personality-free Russian mail-order child-bride?  Once or twice?  Well..... if you're Lisa Vanderpump, it's de rigueur.  

Oh and how many times has a friend invited you over to their home for a "spa day" and the setup is nicer than most true spas?  Once or twice?  Well, Adrienne Maloof who already has a spray-tan room and some hydrating machine that costs 40K added three massage therapists, facial-mani-pedi givers and a bevy of other indulging, relaxing goodies to her repertoire.  Oh and she had a couple stud host-helper dudes and Miss Maloof, I approve.  That one guy had arms like Popeye.... did you see him?  I love that Adrienne had a buffet fit for people who actually eat: fondue, cheeses, crackers, desserts galore, frozen yogurt (with the company's logo prominently displayed naturally), and other yumminess.  The sad thing is with Taylor, Kim, Brandi, and Camille who clearly prefer to not eat--- most of that delicious buffet was wasted.  I think Kyle and Dana probably had a bit to eat.  So one by one the gals arrived, slipped into robes, and with their purses clutched tightly they mixed, mingled, relaxed, and then talked shit about Brandi-- the new girl.  The women hate her because she called Kim on her erratic behavior at the previous party.  Sure Brandi's shrill voice screaming "she's wasted.... she's on crystal meth...." was over the top but the Richards sisters weren't any better with their "you're a slut pig" and "shut your god damn mouth" and "I don't like you".  It was a bunch of annoying, entitled bitches hollering at each other and I thoroughly enjoyed it.  I love watching that sun-damaged Kim with her badly in need of conditioner hair and her bizarre behaviour, is that wrong?  Those confessional scenes where her words are slurred and she's waving her arms around like she's about to get in a bar fight--- heaven!  It's terrible but hell, I like it.  I drew the wild and distracted Kim getting a hydrating facial with the 40K machine.

Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!  Kim is my new favorite to draw.  She's so animated and off her rocker which makes her the perfect subject to sketch.  Oh that's crazy gals......  Adrienne tried her best to play peace maker by strongly urging Brandi apologize to Kyle but I don't know, I think the fight at the game night party was a "push" in terms of ignorance.  All parties went too far but if apologies are being handed out, Kyle being the more rational out of the Richards pair should say sorry too.  By the way, does anyone else think Kyle talks a little like her niece Paris Hilton?  I notice a little of a baby talk voice here and there and that makes me want to plug my ears.  Oh dear if there's one thing I can NOT stand it's that god damn fake Paris- Kim Kardashin girlie baby talk shit.  For that baby talk voice alone I'm siding with Brandi.  Not that she's that much better.... well... again, it's a push.  I'm waiting for Kyle's apology.  I will too say that I thought it was weird of Adrienne to not walk Brandi to the door as the gaggle of mean bitches snickered and laughed and said "don't let the door hit you in the ass" as she left.  Bad mean bitches. 

One more thing really quickly, isn't it interesting that Camille is entirely different this season?  Did she blackmail the editors at Bravo because she seems almost likable.  Maybe that's overreaching but she's doing a better job at being "normal".  What did I just type?

Project Runway Season 9. It's all about Joshua McKinley!

Love, love, love Project Runway! Sure the show fumbled when it relocated to LA that one season which just so happened to be when they switched to Lifetime.  Not their best offering for sure.  But that's long since past and the current season has plenty of colorful characters to keep us entertained.  And certainly the most sparkly, flashy, and daring peacock of them all is Joshua McKinley.  He comes from the more sequins, sparkles, and drama the better approach to design.  More is more!  Leopard shoes with plaid pants--- sure!  A corsage on a beautifully draped gown-- oh hell yea!  And Joshua isn't one to shy away from controversy--- screw that!  That one is all hiss and confrontation.  And those eyebrows!  Those eyebrows....... It's as though they were generously and precisely cut from black patent leather. Purchased at Mood Fabrics of course.  Here's my depiction of the fiercest contestant from season 9.

You do not want to be on the receiving end of that finger.  Wait.... that sounds bad.  :)

Previous Project Runway recaps can be seen here.

Depiction of Joshua completed with pen and ink on 9" x 12" printmaking paper.

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion show.

This is going to be a quickie as I start a little free-lance gig this morning and I'm parked at a nearby Starbucks on my way to work because my wifi is out.  Errrrrrrrrr!!!!!!  The reunion show was basically an hour of Teresa screaming, freaking out, and saying any number of stupid things to her cast-mates.  Her behavior was like a wild animal that had been backed into a corner and was lashing out in all directions as she would go from somewhat calm to a frenzied monster in 0.1 seconds.  For me, there were two moments that especially stuck out from that hour-long brawl.

The first would be when Teresa was losing her shit and yelling at her sister-in-law Melissa who was wearing a red dress, "You're the devil. You're wearing red. It matches you. You like that, bitch?"  Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!  I've been constantly repeating that line to my partner in the heaviest Jersey accent I can muster.  Oh thank you for that Teresa!  So if Teresa behaved like a wild-eyed stampeding bull, Melissa on the other hand came off really well: calm, rational, sincere, nice, likable......  I quickly doodled Melissa's surprised reaction to all the crazy crap that Teresa was spewing.

That was drawn with a bic pen in a fancy sketchbook and finished with some digital coloring.  Go team Gorga!

The other fantastic moment came from the sage Caroline Manzo who is clearly the levelest headed member of this clan.  Mrs Manzo aimed the following statement at Teresa with the precision of a sharp-shooter. "I feel like I'm getting dumber as the minutes go on. I am in a whirlwind of stupid. I don't understand what she's doing. It doesn't make sense to me. Nothing make sense ... I should take my own advice, and my own advice two years ago was to get you out of my life, and I'm finally taking it."

HA!  Nothing further your honor!  I rest my case.

If you'd like to check out my facebook page, please have a look here. 

Is Teresa Giudice a stampeding bull?

I created the above illustration in antcipation of tonight's part one of The Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion show.  In the sneak peak clip I saw, Teresa seems to be going full-on berserk and attacking her cast-mates.  And really, is that so surprising?  I'll go with no.  The best thing I saw in that teaser would be Teresa grunting that her sister-in-law Melissa looks like the devil because she's wearing red.  Ah ha ha ha ha ha!!!  That triggered an image of Melissa's dress as a red flag being waved at a stampeding bull which is how I drew Teresa.  And why not throw her little hubbie on top going for a ride?  :)

I'm posting this so early because the wifi is out in my home and I'm going to be off galavanting around town for most of the day so in a Starbucks I sit and type, attach, and upload.  Happy reality TV-watching y'all!

Previous NJ recaps can be seen here.

Illustration completed with pencil, pen, and digital color.

The very pregnant yet pin-thin Rachel Zoe.

Are you watching the Rachel Zoe project on Bravo?  The show, now in its fourth season, typically follows the styling phenom as she creates red carpet looks for the likes of Demi Moore, Cameron Diaz, Anne Hathaway, and countless others as well as styling magazine editorials and ad campaigns, and and and creating/ launching her own fashion label.  Busy girl!  This season she's 20 months pregnant yet still looks like she weighs in at 80 lbs.  Ok, maybe 9 months prego and 85 lbs.  In my opinion the bit of weight she gained during her pregnancy really suits her well.  She's regularly way, way, way too thin and hopefully she'll keep some of the baby poundage on as it does favor her.  Really quick, the above illustration started out a little less flattering.....  I'd made her face a lot rougher and more weathered but as I started to color it, I kept smoothing out the surface and I may have gone too far.  ??? She's grown on me this season being pregnant and actually eating and I suppose I wanted to do a more flattering look. :)

Anyway, Rachel isn't a one woman show and that's really what I want to discuss.....

I'm on Bravo's website! You'll find my gallery on the Watch What Happens L!ve page.

Oh my goodness gracious.........  Bravo has given me my own gallery with 44 images of my drawn and painted Bravo-lebrities.  Please click here to have a look.  I'm having a hard time finding the right words to express my overwhelming gratitude......  I'll simply say thank you to Bravo and all those involved in making this happen.  I feel like I should be wearing a crown, clutching a bouquet of red roses, and waving as I walk to end of a stage while mascara-soaked tears stream down my face.  That might happen later this afternoon.  :) 

Thank you again Bravo! 

Oh, one other thing..... I have a facebook page if you'd like to like it please go here.  :)

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Kim Richards brought the party to the party and her sister Kyle clearly looked pleased. ?

Thank you everyone who left comments and sent emails about being Andy Cohen's mazel of the day on his Watch What Happens Live show.  I believe my heart stopped the moment he said my name and didn't start beating again until the segment was over.  I feel like I was knighted, or blessed by the pope, or touched by an angel.......... :)

This is going to be a super duper quickie posting and I've said it before and I'll say it again---- sometimes a quickie is all you need.  There are two new gals this season who are being peppered into the mix and just like real pepper, too much can be too much.  One of the gals is named Dana, an oddly confident party planner, who threw the strangest "game night" themed get-together.  Sure it was wacky in Dana's casa: barely enough chairs for guests, no actual food even though the party began when it was light out and was pitch black at full swing, and the oddest thing of all was of course Kim Richards.  Hurricane Kim was a category 5 on the bat-shit crazy scale.  Making a late entrance, she was all confused and blurry and kept calling Dana the hostess Pam.  Why not?  Kim repeatedly used the restroom and complained loudly about it's lack of cleanliness.  She was up, she was down, she was high as a f**king kite.  Let's be honest.  And then she set her sights on the other new gal Brandi.

Brandi's all fluff and facial filler and diet coke.  And she's combative which I think is going to be fun to watch.  The episode really hit full stride at the end when Kim and Brandi were going crazy face to crazy face and Kyle jumped onboard.  The above drawing was a stolen glance Kyle gave Kim and the look on Kyle's face was clearly, "God damn it Kim... not again."  The look on Kim's face is clearly, "Where am I?!"

Sad but so watchable.

My illustration of the two sisters is ink, pencil, and marker on paper with a pinch of digital color.

Thanks!

I was Andy Cohen's Mazel of the day!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, I nearly passed out.......  I was the Mazel of the Day on Andy Cohen's Watch What Happens and I'm beyond humbled and honored.  Thank you Andy so much!

Just a friendly reminder that my pop culture artwork shown here: drawings, paintings, and prints are for sale.  Click on over to my etsy shop and have a look.  If you're not seeing something that you'd like to have, please let me know and I'll upload it.  Or if you'd want to go through etsy, there's always a paypal option.  Here's a teaser......

Thanks!

Oh.... one other thing.  I recently created a facebook fan page if you'd like to like it, please follow the link. 

Teresa Giudice is Lucille Ball? And did Melissa really "seed" her way out of it?

Last night was the finale of The Real Housewives of New Jersey and oh my goodness...... it was a fun ride.  In all honestly I had my doubts about this season what with the absence of square-tit grinch Danielle Staub and her mob of goons, but once it hit its stride--- dem housewives delivered!  The best moment, for me, out of the entire history of The NJ Housewives empire (and what an empire it is) came last night when Teresa compared herself to Lucille Ball.  I nearly dropped my glass of wine and coughed up all the dark chocolate I'd been snacking on.  Actually I came too close to having my head implode at the thought of that comparison.  On the one hand you have Lucille Ball, a pioneering, brilliant actress who some would call the queen of comedy.  And deservedly.  On the other you have that leopard print-soaked beast Teresa Giudice who wrote a cookbook that seems more like a shitty back-stabbing tabloid tell-all.  I imagine on one page there's a recipe for puttanesca and on the other she's saying her italian co-star is only 1/16th Italian.... or that her sister-in-law is a jealous copy-cat, or that her cousin needs to get a life....  Oh no she didn't!   And when Jacqueline tried to question the leopard print-soaked beast Teresa about her jabs, Teresa said that they were jokes.  Ha ha.  Insults are jokes in Teresa's comedic mind. Get it?  She's funny.... like she's Lucy.  Take it in.  So does that mean her squat, dim bulldog of a spouse Joe is like Ricky Ricardo?  Oh..... I shudder to think.  I had to draw my version of Teresa as Lucy and here it goes.

I created that loving tribute with pen and ink on paper finished with digital coloring and it's available as a print on my etsy shop.  There you go. 

Joe and Melissa have completely grown on me.  Don't judge me but I like them.  Sure Melissa may have a problem here and there with grammar.  Um..... like when she called her psychic medium a median.  That was pretty damn good.  I had hoped that for the finale Melissa would yet again give us a grammatically-challenged goodbye gift and she did.  She was discussing that leopard print-soaked beast Teresa's cookbook with her sister and in a glossy confessional moment said that she wasn't going to come between her husband Joe and his sister Teresa and that she has seed her way out of the situation.  Wait.... what?  She seed her way out?  I had to rewind and yea, she "see'd" her way out.  My partner said she's early-man stupid.  :)   Oh Melissa, I love your creative use of language and I'll miss you and your cute hubbie.  Actually, I'll miss those Jersey guys and gals quite a bit.  Be sure and check out the reunion shows.  From the teaser I saw, Teresa goes from insane dumbshit to combative code red dumbshit.  Ha!!!!!

Previous New Jersey recaps can be seen here.