About 5 years I was in an auto accident and got whiplash. In my lifetime I've had a number of bumps, bruises, and a couple stitches here and there but that car crash was certainly something different. And the most random and conflicting array of advice came flooding from all directions: let it heal naturally- go to physical therapy immediately, see a chiropractor- don't see a chiropractor, go to an acupuncturist- acupuncture is bullshit, try massage- massage may temporarily relieve pain but won't cure anything, try cool light laser (which I did and liked)- lasers?, have surgery- don't even consider surgery............ Ultimately I ended up going to a physical therapist who incorporated a variety of therapies but was heavily focused of chiropractics. And what I can say is that path jacked my neck even up worse. The place I sought treatment was first rate however I only know now in hindsight that seeing that chiropractor at that point in my recovery wasn't good. I do know people who've had tremendous results from chiropractors and I'm not dismissing that practice at all, I'm just speaking about my individual experience.
The acupuncturist's office was in a very nondescript and pretty weathered strip mall in Santa Ana, CA. The overwhelming scent of eucalyptus oil mixed with pain-relieving Icy Hot could be smelled from outside the building. My eyes watered and nearly sealed shut upon entering his stark facility. After filling out some paper work, and gasping for air, I was lead down a sad hallway, passed four very sad faux-wood doors, and shown into the saddest of sad rooms where everything was a shade of dirty beige. "The doctor will be right with you," the young receptionist said as I was left to take survey of my sad surroundings. A beat-up chart of anatomy that looked like a dog had chewed off a corner was thumb-tacked crookedly to the wall next to the cheapest "wood" framed certification that was also hung askew. Dusty fake ferns and 5 year old magazines completed the decor. Some muffled "Ow.... that hurts" came from the room next to me as well as what sounded like counting and I wondered why and how M.P. could have recommended such a place? And then he entered the room.
5 ft tall, about 50 yrs old, my Chinese acupuncturist spoke in very broken English. "You have pain? Where you have pain?", he asked with each word having the exact same emphasis. And then he said something so wonderful and so bullshit-free I wanted to hug him...... "If I can't help you in two treatment then you come here no more." After seeing that chiropractor who wanted to milk my insurance for every penny he could, this blast of honesty was almost too much to take.
Soooo..... I removed my shirt, laid face down on his table, and he placed about 12 needles here and there and left me for nearly 20 minutes. Again, I could him counting and more "Owwwwww!!!! That hurts!" coming from an adjoining room. Huh?
He reentered my room, removed all the needles, then said something like, "Oh here come secret recipe", as he opened a tub of ointment and slathered my back with that Icy Hot concoction. It felt good at first even though my eyes were on fire and then I understood the shouts of pain as he squeezed my shoulders right at the base of my neck as hard as he could and shouted out the most bizarre countdown. "One, two, SPINAL, four, five, SPINAL, seven, SPINAL, nine, SPINAL!!!!!!!!!!!" The squeezing became progressively more intense as he crescendoed into that final SPINAL!!!!!!!! What the f%*K had just happened? He left me laying on that table, covered in Icy Hot, and mumbled, "I be back soon." He repeated that same crazy counting and yelling SPINAL loop two more times over a one hour period.
Leaving his office I was very aware that I smelled like a gallon of Icy Hot and I chuckled at what a crazy experience I'd just had. And you know what---- the tingling in my fingers had stopped. Swear! It was gone. Done. Bye. I saw him in total five times. So needless to say I'm a big believer in acupuncture. Whenever I get a little ache or pain I see another acupuncturist that my yoga teacher recommended who's local. This guy so far hasn't yelled SPINAL but he has incorporated cupping into the mix? In case you don't know what that is, here's a description from wikipedia:
Cupping Therapy is an "ancient medical treatment that relies upon creating a local suction to mobilise blood flow in order to promote healing.” Suction is created using heat (fire) or mechanical devices (hand or electrical pumps).
The first time I had it done, I nearly fainted when I got home and saw the results. Here goes and this isn't photoshopped....
Those pepperoni-looking circles fade away after about a week-ish. So yesterday I woke up with some serious pain in my neck and upper back and decided to pay my acu a visit. P.S. If my posting yesterday was off, I blame the pain. This time, instead of leaving the cups in one area, he rubbed three of them up and down my back and I nearly fainted when I got home. Here's what I saw in the mirror last night.
Awwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I look like I should be performing in some crazy thing at Burning Man. Needless to say I won't be attending any pool parties this weekend. :)
Thanks for indulging me.
xo
****** UPDATE*******
It's now July 5th and those crazy marks are basically gone. Thank goodness! The lowest circle on my back (it's almost like a tramp stamp) is the only remaining mark but it's barely even there. 5 days later and my neck feels so much better too. I took a yoga class this morning and showed that above picture to my teacher (he's the one that recommended that acupuncturist) and he said those are the craziest looking cupping marks he's ever seen. He also said that the redder the markings are, the more it means toxins are present. I don't know..... I'm just happy those crazy things are gone and that my neck feels good. Fear not the cupping! Ok, maybe fear it a little...... :)
Forget those housewives, these funny life experiences are more entertaining. Thank you for sharing.
Posted by: Sharon S | June 30, 2011 at 06:07 PM
You are a really good writer. I enjoy reading about your "normal" life experiences ALMOST as much as the housewives :) I've also heard good things about acupuncture, although I hope I don't ever have to find out for myself.
Please don't take anymore long vacations!
Posted by: Becky | June 30, 2011 at 06:54 PM
Wow! Did this recent procedure get rid of the pain and do those marks hurt?
I had the same experience with a Chiro & after he told me I'd have to be going for about a year, I thought best to leave well enough alone.
I've never heard of cupping, but so far, it sounds like it's working for you.
Posted by: Jane | July 01, 2011 at 12:10 AM
OMG! Reminds me of my teenage make-out sessions ;~*
Posted by: susan | July 01, 2011 at 05:21 AM
Ouch, that smarts!
I'm not sure I have it in me to try that but I appreciate you sharing it with us! Will you be trying it again in the future do you think? Does it hurt to the touch - I'm intrigued.
Till next time, put some ointment on that, it looks angry!
Jen
Posted by: Jen | July 01, 2011 at 07:35 AM
Oh my god! That is terrible!
Posted by: HunkDuJour | July 01, 2011 at 08:01 AM
Hello:
I suffer from chronic pain issues, some of them brought on by multiple incidences where I was the "butt" of some rear-end collisions. One of the therapies I have tried which I swear by is rolfing. It is something like deep tissue massage but more intense. I can't say it is pleasant to experience but I can wholeheartedly recommend it for the long-term relief I've gotten from pain. In conjunction with physical therapy, accupuncture and pain-killing meds (pharmaceutical AND medical marijuana) my middle-age has been far more doable than if I had to do it on my own.
I wish you the best of luck while you seek treatment for your pain. And all my sympathy too.
Posted by: NeoCleo | July 01, 2011 at 10:42 AM
Wow, you have my sympathies, I can't believe how your back looks! I hope after all this you have some relief from your pain and your back looks a lot better! Thanks for sharing, I know you're in pain, but it is entertaining to read about. Have a happy 4th!
Posted by: Linda G. | July 01, 2011 at 11:17 AM
Wow, I don't know about the cupping thing, it looks painful. I hope it relieved you of your back pain though. I love how you describe your 1st trip to an Acupuncturist, love the detail. I've been to an Acupuncturist a few times and it did wonders for me, but I do remember my 1st visit, it was VERY simular to yours. These place are always in some seedy, worn down strip center and I often wonder if these (some of these) "Acupunture" places are a front for prostitution (table massage, happy-ending). :)
Posted by: LA | July 01, 2011 at 09:52 PM
Holy crap. I see some disturbing art in your future!
sidenote: I was hit by a truck while walking across the street a few years back. Totally damaged every part of my body except my left foot, I think. With massage therapy, I was able to sit/stand/lie down again without pain. I never tried acupuncture, but I'm sure it would have helped just as good too.
Posted by: midevil | July 02, 2011 at 09:46 AM
um, that doesn't look right at all, I would sue if I were you!
Posted by: trinity | July 02, 2011 at 11:25 PM
Ouch. Hope you feel better.
Posted by: diane | July 05, 2011 at 04:22 AM
Wow, didn't Gwyenth Paltrow get photographed with cupping marks? She's got nothing on you. :) Hope you are feeling better!
Posted by: Matilda | July 05, 2011 at 07:09 AM
Ouch! I hope that is not as painful as it looks! Feel better!
Posted by: Melissa | July 05, 2011 at 04:40 PM
I've had cupping before and I didn't end up looking ANYTHING like that. You'ld maybe have some rings..like you were hugged by an ocotopus. You look like you were attacked by a toothless vampire boo.
Posted by: Tara | July 05, 2011 at 05:15 PM
I have had lower back and neck pain off and on for the past twenty years. The only thing that cures it is daily exercise. I do zumba and weight lifting and toning on a rotation. When something acute happens I sleep on a heating pad and take ibuprofen. Basic, but it works.
Posted by: naomi | July 06, 2011 at 05:37 PM
Ouch! That last pic made me shudder, but I'm happy to hear you're feeling better.
Posted by: LaToya | July 07, 2011 at 07:32 PM
Hope you feel better.
Posted by: Andy | July 08, 2011 at 03:10 AM
ha David!!!!!!!! glad you feel better... looked like tattoes i thought at first!... i liked the streak down your back... those cupping circles are narly but the streak alone would have done it for me!... i've never tried this, but have heard it does wonders... good ancient Chinese technique...:)
Posted by: Winston Torr | July 12, 2011 at 12:10 AM
Sexy ;)
Posted by: Alex | July 12, 2011 at 02:53 PM
Weird marks aside, you're a sexy one, Mr. Gilmore :)
Posted by: diedra | July 14, 2011 at 04:00 PM
Please! No more cupping! It's crap. Those marks are not from "toxins". they are bruises caused by the suction of blood into the skin.
You seem much too smart to fall for these "ancient Chinese remedies".
Posted by: Christi | July 16, 2011 at 07:30 PM
If something like 'cupping' helps patients who are in pain then they are not 'crap'.
There are many people in the world who live with chronic pain and will try just about anything to stop the constant screams from their bodies
Massage may work for some, Accupuncture, accupressure for others and even touch therapy helps others.
Crap only comes from remedies that are proven to either do nothing or harm individuals.
The treatment for pain are far and wide and vary with each person.
I am happy that Gilmore found relief as I have been searching for something other than beheading to rid myself of my pain.
Im happy it did work and I am also happy that you found a practioner that told you the way it was!
Good luck David and I hope you remain Pain free!
Posted by: Christi | July 24, 2011 at 02:23 PM
you can send the clip cupping for me.
Posted by: doan bao loc | August 09, 2011 at 09:12 PM
OMG! That is awful! I don't want to try that ever!
Posted by: Greg Dolence | January 05, 2012 at 07:50 AM
ouch!
Posted by: Silver | April 24, 2013 at 10:54 AM