Pretty On The Outside

Please indulge me: Cupping Catastrophe

About 5 years I was in an auto accident and got whiplash.  In my lifetime I've had a number of bumps, bruises, and a couple stitches here and there but that car crash was certainly something different.  And the most random and conflicting array of advice came flooding from all directions: let it heal naturally- go to physical therapy immediately, see a chiropractor- don't see a chiropractor, go to an acupuncturist- acupuncture is bullshit, try massage- massage may temporarily relieve pain but won't cure anything, try cool light laser (which I did and liked)- lasers?, have surgery- don't even consider surgery............  Ultimately I ended up going to a physical therapist who incorporated a variety of therapies but was heavily focused of chiropractics.  And what I can say is that path jacked my neck even up worse.  The place I sought treatment was first rate however I only know now in hindsight that seeing that chiropractor at that point in my recovery wasn't good.  I do know people who've had tremendous results from chiropractors and I'm not dismissing that practice at all, I'm just speaking about my individual experience.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Shoe polish shaded cleavage and shared toilets.

A moment of honesty at the top of this posting..... Monday's episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey was the first one from this season that I've seen in its entirety.  While I was away, I missed at least one show and only caught bits and pieces here and there from other airings.  Even though I'm arriving at this orange spray tanned and leopard print covered party late, I'm sure it's safe to assume that most of them are fighting and talking shit about each other.  Right?  This entire Housewives franchise is built on: backstabbing, smack talk, and the promotion of predominantly unwanted products so............ do you think this season would stray from that formula?  Hell no!  Fight, fight, fight! This particular episode began with Teresa going empty head to empty head with her sister-in-law Melissa.  In one corner we have short-tempered reigning champion Teresa battling Melissa who favors shading her cleavage with dark brown shoe polish.  Seriously girl, ease up on the booby contouring.  What's their beef about?  Ummmm.... I'm asking...... as I don't really know.  Or care.  During the meeting of the minds (?), they just kept repeating the same catch phrases: let's put da past behind us, let's meet in da middle, let's get back to where we was before all da fighting has started, let's be friends once more again, we used to friends so let's us be friends again..........  Progress seemed to be made here and there and as they'd decide to make a fresh start and forget the past--- a second later one of them would bring up some trivial chunk of nonsense and they'd start fighting all over again.  Just as quickly though, they'd repeat those catch phrases from above: put da past behind us.......  And over and over and over this played out.  Make up, then fight, make up, then fight.  I'm sure had the cameras pulled back you've have seem a room full of Bravo employees shaking cue cards with those expressions: "Let's be friends again" or "Let's make a fresh start"...... Before I go any further I want to share the illustration I made of Joe and Melissa Gorga.

Note the cleavage shading.  :)  The illustration is watercolor, pen, and pencil on hot pressed watercolor paper with a smidge of digital color.

Oh those Housewives.........

Hello..... hello..... hello!  Is anyone out there?  Is this thing on?  Oh my goodness gracious I've taken breaks here and there but I've never disappeared for this long.  Sorry.  Please indulge me for a moment while I explain and hopefully my illustration of Alexis in her Alexis Couture ensemble will bait you back into my posting silliness.  Real quick--- as Alexis named her dresses, I'm thinking this one was called "Christians do it missionary style to make babies" or was that "Jesus loves my huge tits this I know for the bible and my king tell me so".......

Congressman Weiner..... is that you?

I just can't let a good photoshop opportunity pass me by and the story of Congressman Weiner possibly tweeting a crotch shot seemed like a fun prospect.  Whether or not he did or didn't tweet a photo of himself--- I could care less.  Big deal.  The only issue I have with the photo is that it's too tame.  I expect more kink from my congressmen so........ I've turned the kinky volume up. 

I give you---- Punk Weiner.  Kinda hot, right?  Lean and liberal....... tight and tolerant......

Next I'd like to present Bear Weiner.  Hotter?  Buff and broad-minded...... beefy and bighearted.......