Let's all raise our mojito glasses and give a cheers to this sun-kissed but not sun-damaged new group of housewives. Yes OC, that last part is aimed at you. A sizzling new batch of characters was served last night and I ate that shit up. I like the Miami gals for the same reason I like fajitas: they're yummy, spicy, and relatively low in calories. Sorry, I'm flying on a serious caffeine buzz so I don't know what the hell I'm writing. Coming off the Louboutin heels of The Beverly Hills gals, I think these women serve as the right transition before we get to the blond and brittle-haired OC crew. Oh Alexis Bellino....... I miss you. Transitioning from Lisa Vanderpump to Gretchen Rossigoldiggia would be too drastic of a drop-off so these lovelies serve as a delicious palette cleanser. I'd say collectively the Floridian gals are insanely confident, pretty hot, attention-seeking, and fairly shallow. Win, win, win, win! I'm not at home at the moment so there won't be any drawings of them til next week but first order of business will be to draw Marysol's mom Elsa. Here she is and I'm fully invested.
Marysol has what I'd like to call a troutus poutus majorous or a mouth that resembles some sea-dwelling creature caught off the dark and freezing waters of Iceland. That said, I enjoy a Deadliest Catch mouth paired with a frozen face. Honestly, I do. Marysol runs a PR firm (I think), is dating a man ten younger or junger and I just have to say "You go Marysol. You go with that big ole mouth, and your witch mom, and your younger boyfriend." I give Marysol the biggest thumbs up out of the whole crew. I think next to Elsa, she may be my favorite. Maybe I've spoken too soon...... I also like Lea.
She's the grande dame cougar of this pack. A veteran cougar who's rich as shit apparently. I'm not too sure what to say about her other than she'll probably be fun to watch and would probably be fun to hang out with. She has that bigger than life socialite vibe and I imagine that's going to translate well. Next let's have a little crazy.
This is Adriana and she's applied for and been hired as the loose cannon, wack-a-doo, nutbag, bat-shit crazy one of the group. This franchise has seen some truly, authentically, genuinely, and certifiably fucked in the head looney tunes: Alexis Bellino, Danielle, Kelly Bensimon, Camille.... but I'm not sure if Adriana's really crazy or just playing the part? She loves art, guys in tiny stretch swim trunks, and dancing between hot guys so if that's crazy then there's a padded cell and a straight-jacket waiting for me somewhere. Rather than poke fun of her I'm going to encourage her wild behavior. Don't just have a screw loose, have all your screws loose. Have those swimsuit models take turns unscrewing your screws until every last one of you is soaking wet, spent, and can unscrew no more. ??? Sorry, I just had another coffee and I really don't know what I'm saying. You go Adriana and you get yourself a whole gallery full off hot swimsuit models. Oh and I'd like to show my artwork in your gallery. :) Next we have a filthy rich lady with some stunning eyebrows.
Larsa is married to Scotty Pippen and from those pix of their lives, I'm going to say Scotty has an insane body. Looking good Mr Pipen! She's had four kids and her body is ridiculously tight. Did she hire Camille's surrogate? When they were showing their kids and it got to their 4 year old son Justin and he was playing with a girl doll..... well..... I smiled and I put young Justin at the top of my list of favorite things about this show. Based on letting their son happily play with a girl doll I'm going to just give them as parents a thumbs up and move along to Alexia.
What to say about Alexia? Well, she's really blondia. She's really confidentia. And she likes picking out speedos for her 17 year old son. All I can think is that I'm going to enjoy drawing her. That's a fun face, hair, accessory combo. That's all for her. And lastly and least interestingly we have Cristy.
I think that photo pretty much will sum up what we get from her this season: a great barely covered body, a look at me attitude, a drink being hoisted up, and a woooooooo partayyyyyyy howl. She'll be what keeps straight guys interested in this program. I'm remembering one of them- I think it was Cristy- had a psychic over and I was waiting for an electronic cigarette to come out but no.... that psychic just looked like a dude, wore sunglasses indoors at night, and that was all. Maybe Cristy didn't want any competition? Or maybe that psychic was someone else's friends? There's too many new people to keep them straight and my head and typing-fingers are swirling with caffeine so I'm going to go outside and run around for a while.
Again, I raise my mojito to you gals. Welcome. I think it's going to be fun getting to know you all.