Pretty On The Outside

Habite

A good friend just directed me towards the facebook page for a store in Los Angeles which he's affiliated.  Habite sells furniture, lighting and architectural elements from the 16th century up to 1980's.  Gorgeous pieces galore!  If you're a fan of exquisite design then by all means have a look at Habite's facebook page and I'm sure you'll like it too.  And by like it, I mean feel free to click on the thumbs up like box.  C'est si bon!

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills..... Bring the botox, bring the bullsh*t, just bring it!

The Real Housewives of NJ. Buckle up!

I consulted with Danielle's energist Sarai before starting this posting so I feel completely centered and focused right now.  Love and light motherf**kers!  Actually to use the proper energist term, she "scanned" me in order to help keep me balanced so that I can lead with love and at all costs to drive my message home in a very dignified way.  Thank you very much.  I also have an armed bodyguard standing over my laptop in case one of the Manzos tries to cyber-attack me.  You know how those Manzos are.  Danny and that sweaty, pitbull-faced, gum-chewing pal of his are waiting in a limo outside should I need someone to have my back.  And I know it's a stretch but...... I have a few extra clip-on extensions handy should Ashley rip out a handful of my weave before I finish this.  I follow her twitter and I know she's coming for me.  I also heavily consulted a bottle of yummy cabernet before starting this posting so to quote Caroline Manzo--- "Buckle up!"

The True Blood Rolling Stone cover that should have been.

I will definitely say that the Rolling Stone cover featuring the undressed True Blood crew: Eric, Sookie, and Bill is quite hot.......

Body painting. A couple very lovely ladies.

Here's some more body painting show and tell with two great gals.  Both wonderful, charming, and warm and it was my treat to work with and paint on them.  The first is a friend and as she has a serious corporate job I'll skip mentioning her name and unfortunately I can't show her beautiful face either.  Oh well.  I painted a large face on her back and covered her arms, lower back and hips with some a vividly colored brush strokes.  I wasn't trying to make her necessary look like a flat painting--- just wanted to make some pretty photos.  Here she goes....

And another.

The Real Housewives of NJ. The village idiots have returned!

Italy produces and exports some of the finest goods in the world: beautiful wine, fantastic olive oil, exquisitely crafted accessories, luxury vehicles...... and then there's Teresa and Joe Guidice.  Proof positive that not everything created in Italy is desirable.  That's Teresa and Joe in Sala Consilina, Italy--- their hometown village.

True Blood. Yes! Oh yes..........

This a quickie for those of you who didn't get enough of the scene with Eric and Talbot.

In the second half of this posting you can see a very NSFW gif which is gift from God.  Be warned..... there's some nekkidness.  Not enough in my opinion but hey, I'm not complaining. 

The Real Housewives of DC. BFD or OMG? Or both?

It's with mixed emotions (and some scotch) that I just created a new category for these DC gals.  Are we ready for a new batch of housewives?  I'll say yes.  Are we ready for this particular batch?  Not sure yet.  I've personally already flushed those Jersey housewives and am eager to move on but the premier of The Real Housewives of DC left me feeling a bit limp.  Of course I'll watch every episode and have hopes that these women will come through.  Don't you?  I'll mention my partner poured me the largest glass of scotch ever about 20 minutes ago and it's nearly half gone..... which means hello typos!  Anyway this is going to be short as I didn't take any notes during the show and have forgotten most of it, however I did a couple drawings to help.  So out of the women we were introduced to, I have two that I'm favoring and for completely different reasons. 

Meet Michaele.

 

She's a thin-lipped fried blond wig on a broom stick with the energy of a hummingbird soaked in Redbull.  She's also an aggressive fame monger which means my local art store will have a booming business as I buy up pads of paper and pens.  Here's the photo I snapped of her with my phone to use as a reference.

 

Hello gorgeous!  Hello my DC muse!  She's steeped in all kinds of controversy but what's holding my interest is her cascading broom-bristle blond mane.  It seems in terms of fashion that the 80's are back so I say she's ready for a V05 hot oil hair treatment commercial.  Or a Jhirmack deep conditioning rinse.  All things I used in the 80s...........  As far as I'm concerned, she can crash as many political parties as she wants---- as long as that hair looks like it's growing an inch above a horse's ass and she maintains her hugging tornado approach, I'm in.  She's the Ramona of this show.  She's also the Alexis Bellino aka Jesus Barbie (minus the huge tits) in terms of she and her husband love flaunting their privileged (?) lifestyle.  I look forward to drawing you more Michaele.

Meet Lynda.

 

And the reference photo I used for the drawing also snapped with my phone.

I actually like Lynda from what I saw and feel a bit of a connection.  We both are in relationships with younger men of color.  Seems like she has a nice family, runs her own business, and has a handsome younger man to keep her company.  I'll say it--- you go Lynda with a y.  She looks a bit like Kate Jackson from Charlie's Angels mixed with Posh Beckham.  Lynda, I approve your message. 

The rest of the gals seemed fine.  The British one has no sense of dinner party etiquette which I love and the other two seemed pretty normal so I'm cautious about how this season will play out.  I do like that these women in general appear to well educated which is a huge departure from Joe and Teresa Guidice.  Speaking of Jersey.......  Barf.  That show ran over it's limit about four episodes ago.  That's just my opinion though.  In a nutshell, imagine being trapped on a hideously tacky cruise ship with the four screaming spawn of Joe and Teresa.  Sounds awful, right?  Sounds like you'd want to jump over the side and swim for land.  Right?  That's how I felt watching last night's show.  I'm sorry but I'm done with the NJ gals.  Unless the Kims jelly wrestle........  Please Bravo, have the Kims wrestle in jello or VO5 hot oil.  I'm sure they would.

Both drawings are done with archival ink on 9" x 12" paper and are for sale.  If interested, email me and I can upload them to my etsy shop or you can buy them directly from me.  Thanks!

Rachel Zoe is literally bananas. Literally.

In honor of tonight's return of the Rachel Zoe show on Bravo, I've created this bananas illustration of the styling whirlwind wearing, well.... a banana.  

Is she having a moment in this?  Does it make you want to die?  Does it makes you hungry?  This gown may be one of a kind but you can own a print of this.  At least 15 of you can as that's how many are signed, numbered, and available on my etsy shop.

I am quite fond of her show and happy it's returning.  I've missed that eternally blushing Brad too.  Welcome back!

Previous show recaps can be seen here.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey. It's sadly all about Kim G.

I know I missed posting about last week's show.  Oopsy!  I needed a break from the gals but I'm back on it this week.  Tonight's episode ended just a couple hours ago and here I am with a fresh illustration and mini recap.  Woo hoo!  Actually this isn't going to be a recap so much as an assessment of bad behavior.  Which is the best kind for my purposes.  To me, what's jumping out the most this season is who's vying for the position of the biggest drama queen/ lunatic of all.  The race to be The Queen drama queen.  The reigning champion Danielle is doing her frozen-faced best to conjure crap at every turn and it's getting a little old.  Every one of her confessional scenes is so dire and grim and intense and overly done. Teresa attempts to be leave her mark by having epic fits: "prostitution whore", "Is bitch better?"........ but she ultimately is too dim to be a drama queen.  The introduction of Kim D and her exhaust pipe sucking mouth has been entertaining.  She has the voice of someone whose smoked 4 packs of cigs a day since birth and the mouth of someone who practiced fellatio on a plugged-in curling iron since birth.  If Bravo showed her more I think she'd be tied with Danielle for the mantle of turbo attention whore.  But the winner, to me, in the contest of who's the worst drama queen this season goes to the elderly Kim G.  Kim G has blazed a trail of duplicity, odd outfits, back stabbing, and on tonight's episode- after her fight with Danielle at the restaurant- has emerged victorious as the most attention starved nutbag of all.  Congrats Kim G! 

Prior to her encounter with Danielle at that restaurant, a foul-mouthed Kim G needed to vent to the enormous breasted Jacqueline.  Holding her newborn, Jacqueline allowed Kim G into her home as she unleashed a flurry of f words.  Jacqueline's baby's first word just might be "fuck" as the child certainly heard Kim G say it countless times.  Kim was having a revelation about Danielle and said as she gestured to herself, "Stupid over here."  It was too perfect so I rewound and watched..... "Stupid over here", with a self point.  I hit pause, and did the following drawing which I then punched up with some digital color.

I've heard Danielle say repeatedly that Kim G is a highly respected member of the community and after watching her freak out shout-fest, I'm wondering if her community is all prisoner stock.  I don't know...... it's just weird.  It's all really weird but that's why I watch.

Off to bed....... until next week you wacky NJ housewives.

Past New Jersey entries can be seen here.