I made it through about 10 minutes of last week's RHONJ before turning it off due to my complete, thorough, and utter disgust at what a mess that show has become. I quit that bitch and by bitch I mean Danielle. And I quit the show. I'll get to Danielle in a bit. So I cut my losses and decided to scratch this program off my TIVO list. Had I watched that episode in its entirety I'd have seen Dina quit the show too which makes me like her even more. I wish you well Dina. Call it a sick curiosity, call it a love of train wreck TV, call it a way to pass a bit of time before watching a TIVO'd True Blood from the night before, but I figured I'd give those Jersey girls another try. And it was actually pretty good towards the end of the episode.
Still holding a grudge at what a mound of poop last week's episode was, I had the TIVO remote in my left hand, a glass of Cabernet in my right, and was on the verge of shutting the show off until about half way in. The show got off to a boring start with Caroline, Teresa, and Jacqueline having a boring ladies lunch. Did I say boring? Clutching that TV remote, my left index finger gently caressed the exit button as I sipped my Cab and looked forward to those True Blood werewolves! Can't say for sure, but the gals probably talked about what a freak Danielle is, how dangerous she is, and chances are Caroline said her in strained voice, "If she comes near my family, I'll kill her with my bare hands, and bury her under the Brownstone." Yawn, stretch, how long til True Blood?
The show revved up when Danielle went for a consultation about her botched-boob job. This will be her fourth augmentation and it looks like #3 was done by upright bulldog Joe Guidice. As Danielle girlishly turned her head to the side and opened her towel revealing those oddly-sculpted cans, the doctor screamed and plunged a wooden stake into her heart. Sorry, that's True Blood. No the doctor said, "This is not an easy case." Not sure if he was talking about having to deal with her or was talking about the challenge of reconstructing those wonky cans. By the way, did you all see her on Andy Cohen's Watch What Happens? Should have been called What Happened to Your Face as she looked like a Latin tranny with an eating and an attention whoring- disorder that had been turned into a wax museum statue. So of course we expect Danielle to be crazy, that's a given. She's a veteran of crazy. But there's nothing like new crazy and by that I mean Kim D.
The D stands for Dude or Dick as in she is one and he has one. That's a man. That's a drag queen and she/ he definitely gives Danielle a run for the money in the duplicitous, jacked-up train wreck department. She's all filter-less cigarettes, diet coke, and back-stabbing. She also has a strip mall version of Posh Beckham's bob with bangs. This drawing is for sale on my etsy site here. Here's a photo I snapped during the show which is what I drew.
I hope I captured her glamor appropriately. :) Midway into the show my BF made the following declaration, "They're all ugly and have bad taste. They're ugly on the inside and out." That's my baby and he's right. Had to have another go at that mug.
Reel me in............ I'm hooked again! That Kim D with a dick has reignited my interest in this mess. She has a face I can get behind not in front of. She's so desperate to be on the show and will talk or twalk out of both sides of her mouth in order to get screen time. It's wonderfully gross to watch. This drawing is also available on my etsy site. Speaking of desperate to be on TV, we have the other Kim, Kim G.
Whereas Kim D with a dick would never be accused of having class, Kim G seems somewhat refined. The key word is seems. She seems nice, kinda dignified, and normal but that's all an act. I guessing. She clearly loves the cameras as much as Kim D. I'm guessing they'll introduce another Kim and then the coven will be complete as witches gather in threes. Of course this is for sale too. All of these are drawn with archival ink on 9" x 12" Stonehenge paper.