Help a blogger
« March 2010 | Main | May 2010 »
Sometimes a quickie is all you need and hopefully a quickie will suffice for my latest RHONYC posting. Quickie, quickie, quickie. Let's get it on and let's get it on quickly.....
Ramona continues to prove she's bat sh*t crazy as her "renewal" tour bulldozes ahead. This new-Ramona seems to have been unleashed by getting a shorter haircut and saying it makes her look like Cameron Diaz's sister. Ah ha ha ha ha ha! Sorry, I've composed myself now. Her renewal process also includes selling some crap jewelry and her repackaged Jergens lotion which is called Tru Renewal or some sh*t like that, and, and, and it's also about renewing her vows to what has to be the most patient man in the world- her husband Mario. Ramona took her 14-ish year old daughter Avery for a very staged luncheon and I'm not sure if Ramona was: struck by lightning, stung by a swarm of bees, or just drank 50 shots of espresso prior to that scene. Her eyes were 50 times wilder than usual as she informed Avery that she and Mario were going to be renewing their vows and asked her daughter if she would be the maid of honor. This is how Ramona looked during that exchange.
Avery will certainly grow up to be a therapist as she stayed rational and focused as Ramona nervously stammered on about how she's in a renewal process. I had a commenter recently speculate that Ramona may be renewing/ rejuvenating her lady bits as well. Gulp! The thought of that could sober up the most intoxicated person.
The Bethenny and Jill fight has gone on way, way too f*cking long and I'm officially sick of it. I don't have a side or an opinion other than these two clearly aren't friends and clearly are being ridiculous for the cameras.
Kelly is retarded.
Sonja is an interesting addition to the cast.
Alex and Simon seem really normal and rational and like good friends to the other crazies on this show.
Luann's song, yes song, has been leaked and if you want to feel like Ramona in my above painting, then click here. It defies belief.
Continue reading "The Real Housewives of NYC. Anyone up for a quickie?" »
I really am. I love the all-knowing, silver-haired Project Runway mentor. I wish Tim would come over to my home everyday and give advice on what I'm wearing and critique my my blog posts. Tim could look over my shoulder as I draw one of the NYC housewives and chime in..... "David, talk to me." Tim would say while adjusting his glasses and putting a finger on his chin. "I'm just not sure you made Ramona's eyes crazy enough. Those really need to pop." :)
The seventh season of Project Runway is drawing to a close with the Season Finale airing tonight. It's fitting that one of my readers commissioned me to do a drawing of Tim to give as a gift to a family member. Perfect for a farewell to PR posting.
I used to recap PR but when they moved to LA and switched to Lifetime, I lost interest. Now that they're back in New York where it rightfully belongs- all is restored. Please click here if you'd like to see those previous entries. So as tonight is the finale--- I'm wondering who you all think will win? I personally like Emilio Sosa best. I would just ask that no one reveals the winner in the comment section. Thanks.
Goodbye for now Mr Gunn. Until we see you next season.
Please check out Blogging Project Runway for great photos, recaps, and show info.
Drawing of Tim done with archival micron ink pens on 9" x 12" hot pressed watercolor paper.
xoxo
Bruce Weber sure knows how to pick a model. Oh La La Mag
The only thing better than the undressed gladiators of Spartacus are photoshopped cats with the undressed gladiators of Spartacus. OMG Blog
Is Wentworth Miller going to be playing Jonah Hill? Kenneth In The 212
I LOVE Modern Family and I LOVE Jesse Tyler Ferguson on that show. Out Magazine
That's right, there's a new gal on the show and this one is a throw back to the earlier days of the Housewives franchise in general where flaunting excesses was common. The other women seem to have gotten the memo that as the world has suffered a financial collapse that they in turn should tone down the shopping spree rhetoric. Sonja Morgan, however, is indulgence unleashed. She's retro in that respect. This upper east sider stimulates the Argentinian male escort economy (hi Max), she stimulates the glycolic peal, restylane, and botox economy (hi her face, neck, and upper lip), and she stimulates stimulating herself (hi Madison Ave and hi to any man who sits next to her in a bar or restaurant). Here's my first time drawing Sonja.
Hello my new muse! Where have you been? Actually we do know where she's been as she rattled off to Luann about her various closets: Palm Beach, Aspen, Miami, Hamptons......... She's also been living near Martin Scorsese we learned as she named dropped to her assistant. I'm not sure if she looks like Glen Close playing Sarah Jessica Parker or Sarah Jessica Parker playing Bernie Madoff. Here's a screen grab from Bravo's site.
My drawing is pretty accurate, right? I think she's going to be a ton of fun to watch (and draw) as Sonja clearly loves flaunting her extravagant lifestyle and she clearly loves being a man-eating power-cougar. A not so attractive older woman with a completely frozen face who thinks she's hot is one of my favorite things. I remember an episode of Oprah from years ago where she talked about keeping a "gratitude journal" and every day you should write down five things you were grateful for that day. If I kept one of those, thursday night after watching the Real Housewives of the NYC I would have put Sonja Morgan as #1 on my list of five things I enjoyed that day. The rest of the list would have been: #2. Ramona's catwalk. #3. Tivo so I could re-watch Ramona's catwalk 15 times. #4. Cabernet. #5. My bf who puts up with my unusual love of this show.
I've definitely found my new muse! This drawing was as she talked about how well she goes with men and something about being "the straw that stirs the drink" or was it "being the hand that writes the check to young Argentinian men to keep her company" (hi again Max). Here's another screen grab.
Fun, fun! Both these drawings are done with micron archival ink on 9" x 12" hot-pressed watercolor paper and are for sale on my etsy shop. Please click away and shop away!
Looking forward to drawing Sonja more in the next couple of weeks and am just bummed Bravo waited until so close to the end of the season to introduce her. I imagine she and Bethenny will have an explosive frozen face off. Until then.......
xoxo
This is the third posting in my series of body painted portraits. (I have three others completed which I'll be posting soon.) About a month ago, I had stumbled across the following photo.....
.... and absolutely fell in love. It's a sculpture by Russian artist Naum Gabo titled Head No. 2 created in 1916. Oh my God--- the lines, the shapes...... it all speaks to me. Is it speaking to you? Being unfamiliar with that artist I did a bit of research and found he was associated with the Constructivist movement in which sculptures were created by using flat planes of metal or wood to define a space rather than using mass. I knew I wanted to attempt painting the look of that sculpture on someone. Why not?
My friend Keith was my willing model. Trying to replicate sharp-flat angles on someone's head and body proved to be a challenge but I was up for it. At a certain point I abandoned that photo and just went with my instincts. First I painted a 40" x 60" canvas which I used as a backdrop with crisscross brush strokes of tan, gray, cream, and dark brown. Next I used MAC Chromacake body paint on Keith and here are the results.
Not exactly the same obviously, but hopefully you can see the intent.
Oopsy............ I slipped and fell off the face of the blog world recently which occasionally happens. As a free-lance artist, sometimes I get busy with projects that require my undivided focus. The last posting I did was about the portrait I made for Real Housewife of the OC Vicki Gunvalson and the eight people who work with her. Thanks for all the nice comments by the way! That was just one small project but the other big time-consumer is done for now...... soooooooooooooo back to posting I go!
Another thanks to everyone who purchased my Alexis and Jim Bellino aka Jesus Barbie and her King paper dolls. Great karma to all of you who support the silly arts. Much appreciated! I had planned to make dolls of the NYC gals but sadly I just didn't have the time. Over the last couple of days though, I have begun creating them. I started with the two housewives who, in my opinion, are bookends on the crazy scale: Ramona and Luann. Ramona's crazy is right there on the surface. You don't have to dig to find it. Her crazy is complete and alive and fun to watch. It's as if she was a feral child who somehow pulled it together- moved to Manhattan, got married, had a daughter, has a career, and now that there's Bravo cameras around, she's reverting back to her wild state. I wouldn't be surprised if Ramona bites a cast member this season. She's the quickest to wrath out of all of them and has no problem being inappropriate in public. All traits I enjoy in a reality TV character. I offer you the Ramona or Ramaniac paper doll.
These are printed with my Canon i9900 printer on heavy 8.5" x 11" card stock. This first of two pages is the lovely Ramona giving us the "crazy eyes." The two outfits are pulled right from this season. The tracksuit is similar to the one she wore last week while crossing the Brooklyn Bridge with Bethenny and basically told her she was alone and would probably screw up her current relationship. That's the feral Ramona I love. Instead of the Tru Beauty or Tru Renewal or whatever the f**k her company is called, I put her in a more appropriate slogan t-shirt "Truly Nuts." Think that says it rather succinctly. The dress is the one she'll be wearing on tonight's show during her runway debut which causes her to temporarily (?) lose her mind.
Page two is an array of outfits Ramona has worn on the show and one I took liberties with. Can you guess which one I made up? Starting in the upper left hand corner we have the dress in which she danced her cooch off, followed by a disco jumpsuit, a night on the town look, and a tennis ensemble. If you'd like to own these Ramona paper dolls, and I hope you will, for the low, low, low price of $17 you can have both prints. One price. Please click here for purchase info.
On the other end of the crazy scale is CoUNTess Luann De Lesseps. She's a Native American Indian from Connecticut turned Countess turned etiquette dispenser turned singer in an upcoming episode. What next? Juggler? Sword swallower? Speaking of sword swallowing, if the allusions are correct then our CoUNTess just might be a swinger. Ramona is dropping hints and the other women are tip-toeing around the issue. Juicy! At first glance you probably wouldn't put her on the crazy scale but looks, as they often times are, can be deceiving. She may be the wackiest one out of them all. She's a cocktail made up of equal parts: Mommy Dearest, Serial Mom, and off-the-charts man-eating abilities--- served chilled in a martini glass straight up. Luann is so condescending and so uppity and so full of herself and the title which she married into that she is a joy to watch as well. The way in which she's acting as Jill's protector in the ridiculous self-involved bullshit fight Jill and Bethenny are having.... I think the CoUNTess is trying to make herself look good by sticking her penis nose where it doesn't need to be.
Page one is the lovely Luann and a Halloween costume she wore celebrating her heritage. There's also a turquoise necklace which can be paired with any of the looks. Is it me or are her necklaces getting bigger and bigger and almost Lady GaGa-ish as the season goes on?
Page two is an array of designs starting in the upper left hand corner with the black and white striped dress Lady GaGa wore in her "Telephone" video (I was taking her daring necklace drama cue with the GaGa inspiration), a true Countess dress I found googling French Countess, a cocktail/ cock-tease dress which says I'm single and ready to mingle if you're filthy rich. If you'd like to own these CoUNTess paper dolls, and I hope you will, then please click here for purchasing info.
Continue reading "Ramona Singer and Luann De Lesseps are a couple of dolls." »
