A great big THANK YOU to everyone who commented on my last Real Housewife posting as that received the most comments of anything I've done in the three + years of having this blog. (If you click on that last link, you'll hear how that makes me feel.) Truly, absolutely, and completely appreciate your feedback! I'm a hugger so I wish I could give all of you a big old squeeze for your support. And an extra special thanks to those who purchased the Jesus Barbie and her King paper dolls. :)
Speaking of my previous posting..... I still, unfortunately, am ill. :( (Click that link too please.) There was a moment midweek where I thought I was turning the corner but no, I took a u-turn back to Sickville. Dayquil continues to be my drug of choice and just to shake things up, I added Sucrets lozenges to the mix. I don't know what the hell is in those lozenges but my partner just asked me a question and it took about 15 seconds before I could answer. I'm on a time delay. I can now say with certainty that Frank and Lynne are Sucrets abusers. That would solve the "what the hell are those two on?" mystery. I also had hoped Alexis aka Jesus Barbie would say an extra special prayer to end my cold but she's awfully busy at the moment spreading the gospel of facial rejuvenation. You see Alexis rebukes "inner beauty" and casts "aging gracefully" into the fiery pit of hell where those things belong. Preach girl!
"She who eats more than one mouse-sized nibble of bread, and lets herself get frumpy......
will never have a wealthy, slimy, demeaning, man-boobed king, who looks like Humpty Dumpty.
Your upper lip may resemble the bill of a duck, but who gives a f**k, as long as your makeup is permanent, your forehead doesn't move, and you know your place...........
you'll never have to cultivate a skill, learn a trade, or read a book--- just make sure your waist is small and you focus on maintaining a pretty face."
Amen. Sorry, that's the Sucrets blogging.
Alexis excitedly beelined her visiting mother to the plastic surgeon who had blessed Jesus Barbie with those ridiculous implants for a consultation. The issue: her mom's plainness. That 58 year old mother hasn't ever had one drop of botox. The horror! She could frown and show emotion. Appalling! Her skin hasn't been resurfaced. Someone catch me- I may faint! How had that woman been allowed to enter Orange County? I thought there were some sort of highway checkpoints to screen out those "natural" types.
As the plastic surgeon started his long list of upgrades the mom needed: an eye lift, sucking the fat from underneath her eye lids, juvederm (whatever that is), fillers, and some other crazy stuff--- Alexis clapped and smiled like she was a five year old at a birthday party watching a clown make balloon animals.
I hit pause on my tivo as she grinned, bounced in her seat, cheered, and nearly pissed her pants at the thought of her mom's face being hacked up and contorted. I liked that still image so much I drew and painted it.
I think my picture is a truer depiction.
When the plastic surgeon suggested in six months upon the mother returns that she should get permanent makeup done- Alexis began panting, closed her eyes, grabbed the arms of her chair, and sustained a deep inner uterine orgasm right there in that office. Again, that's the Sucrets blogging. :)