Last night was the finale of The Real Housewives of Atlanta and to be honest, I thought the first half was pretty boring. All the stuff with Lisa and her cute husband Ed seemed completely rehearsed and scripted. I felt like I was watching a bad soap opera every time those two were on screen. And just as an overall observation--- it seemed like Lisa tried really, really hard this season to keep her crazy hidden. Her, "I'm gonna flip you over the couch" outburst directed at Kim during last season's reunion show was just a glimpse at what a combative closet freak she truly can be. She should have let a little more of that freak out and this past season could have been more entertaining. Goodbye Lisa, I'll miss you least of all.
Next we have SheRee who really stepped up as a dapper designing man this season. Did SheRee let her lack of training and talent get in the way of producing a genuinely forgettable collection? No. No she didn't. She tucked her 10 inch when flaccid penis and by god she put on a fashion show with actual cloths. Crazy, huh? She was fortunate to have the help of Mr Dah-wight Eubanks who stepped in and took over her show. As he said of himself, "The bitch knows how to shut it down." He employed the art of distraction with all kinds of accessories and hairpieces in order to make those boring cloths she designed seem fashionable. I think wearing a t-shirt with the logo SHE for She by SheRee might be a hit for those with a sense of humor. Irony over fashion. If someone buys one of those shirts who isn't related to her--- god help you. Goodbye SheRee, I'll miss you and your impeccable tuck somewhat.
Then there's the breath of sanity on this show, Kandi. I think she was a great addition to the cast and I just wish her single "I Fly Above" was better. If Kandi could turn "Don't Be Tardy For The Party" into a fun track, then certainly she'll come up with some better songs for herself. Goodbye Kandi. I will miss you.
Then there's Kim and NeNe. I'm lumping them together as their on and off relationship was the most entertaining aspect of the show. What I want to know is where's the footage of those two going at it where NeNe allegedly choked Kim? That should have been the entire finale. I think I'd have drank four bottles of wine had that aired. So what do you think really happened? Did NeNe choke Kim? I believe it. Did Kim freak out at NeNe and get in her face? I believe it. Did NeNe's big moose antler pull off Kim's wig during their heated conflict? I wish! And that's why I drew the above image. I do love how Kim referred to NeNe as a fucking moose several times. NeNe's "Is that wig squeezin your head too tight heffa?" dig directed at Kim was definitely funny but I got to award Kim with my seal of approval for the repeated fucking moose comments. That's just my opinion. Then NeNe went on to say:
A. I'd rather cut off my own clitoris with a pair of toenail clippers and wear it as a scarf than be friends with Kim Zolciak.
B. I'd rather wear a Kim Zolciak blond wig and make love to Big Poppa on a water bed filled with Chardonnay than be friends with Kim Zolciak.
C. I'd rather rip out all ten of my toenails and walk on sandals made out of them than be friends with Kim Zolciak.
The answer is none of the above. The closest was opinion C. however I deleted the episode already so that's not an exact quote, but you get the toenail-less picture.
So goodbye to NeNe and Kim. I will definitely miss both of you as you provide the best and most consistently ridiculous entertainment.
Moose vs. Wig illustration done with ink and digital color.
If you like these drawings and would like to own one, well..... you can! Click here to go to my Etsy shop and you'll find lots of my original reality TV drawings. Happy shopping.
Previous Real Housewives of Atlanta postings can be seen here.
Nene's pulling a no-no. She's talking about how the sausage is made over at Essence because she thinks she's been "edited" to seem like an "evil person." Speaking of sausage factories, I think it's totally uncool that Bravo did not clarify the situation or show the footage from the Moose vs. Wig smackdown. The police report I read had two witnesses and if Moose meets Wig anywhere anytime how can a Bravo camera not be there to capture the awesomeness?
Andy Cohen please explain.
Posted by: Michele | October 23, 2009 at 11:49 AM
HIGHlarious drawing!!!
Posted by: trinity | October 23, 2009 at 11:52 AM
Dwight's crib is dreadful - inside and out.
Posted by: Virginia | October 23, 2009 at 07:13 PM
good mother moose, gilmore! Kim hit NeNe on the head (*and then Nene strangled her)
...a moose she is!!
Weren't we all surprised at how huge NeNe is? we saw none of her stature last leason..so..omg..M00OOoooo
Were I NeNe? it would just kill me that Kim made the (animal) reference that SO FITS..omg..
Kim about NeNe >> "cock-eyed moose"
..so funny
Talented you.. who could draw her in all her moosie glory, better? what a gem you are!..and the cock-eye is there!
and I love visiting this blog
Posted by: boo | October 24, 2009 at 01:21 PM
David,
As I have told you before in previous trackbacks..I just love you!
I have had a tremendously difficult last 5 months. I have been ill and my beloved mama just passed away three days ago from a stroke. Throughout all of this heartbreak your Housewives blog has kept it light and laughing. With love from your devoted fan!
Posted by: Carly | October 24, 2009 at 04:44 PM
Shreree's collection should probably be named "HE bi Sheree", no?
I do have to say I loved watching the live part afterward, Andy was obviously pretty drunk and was hysterical while making an ass of himself.
Posted by: Butterhead | October 24, 2009 at 05:09 PM
They're equally ridiculous and sad.
Posted by: jcksincty | October 24, 2009 at 08:43 PM
The only thing left for these tacky broads is mud wrestling.
Posted by: jcksincty | October 24, 2009 at 09:55 PM
The Nene/Moose thing is quite racist. I know that Kim is also presented as caricature, but white people are not victims of institutional racism (the truest form of racism) in this country. White people just hate to hear this, but it's true. Having an African American President of the United States does not eradicate racism in America. We have along way to go. Thank you, Limbaugh and Ms. Beck.
Posted by: jcksincty | October 25, 2009 at 01:19 AM
Wow Gilmore you are amazingly talented!!
How do you do that - picturing a NeNe Moose?? Freaking hilarious - mooseboobs in all.
Posted by: valentinne | October 25, 2009 at 01:21 AM
The Amazon and the Hairball! (which is which?)
Perfect!
Posted by: Vern | October 25, 2009 at 06:07 AM
(Cripes, Gilmore, that would be one scary big clitoris, indeed.)
I thought this was kind of a crap Real Housewives finale, as far as Real Housewives finales go. I mean, we don't get to see the Fucking Moose vs. Wig Monkey smack-down? After NJ Theresa's table-flipping, how could Bravo think that any less would do for our sophisticated tastes?
Looking forward to the return of the OC broads -- only because your renderings of Vicki are always my faves!
Posted by: Blisterina | October 25, 2009 at 10:57 AM
I love Kandi.... I'm ganna miss her the most. I like the way she handles Nene. Kandi's not about the drama
Omg.... Dwight's house was sooo ugly haha!
I liked Sheree's clothes but when she said she deserved a pat on the back, she didn't do shit! Pat Dwight's back & the lady who made the clothes.
I live in Chateau Elan here in Atlanta & Lisa & Ed's house isn't in Chateau Elan. Their house is next to it. You'll be ther first to know if I run into her at the grocery store. can I tell her to check out prettyontheoutside.com? :)
Posted by: deena | October 25, 2009 at 11:54 AM
Yes deena tell her to check out POTO and tell her - her costume at the fashion show was HID de OUS! Besides Dwight's awful house, the standouts of the show were -
1. Lisa's costume
2. When Nene was at Kim's house she was sitting in front of something on a bookshelf and it looked like she had devil horns (or was sprouting moose antlers)
3. Sheree took the bouquet of roses and walked down the runway like she was Miss America striking poses. No respectable designer would do that. I am surprised she didn't use her 10X10 portrait as a backdrop. She probably tried and Dwight nixed it.
Posted by: Virginia | October 25, 2009 at 01:16 PM
@ jcksincty I most def agree with you. Kim is funny and so is NeNe but the mosse thing what a bit too racial charged for me.
No one even needs to compare what NeNe said about Kim being a monkey. White people were never caled monkeys in our history.
Posted by: Vixen | October 25, 2009 at 04:17 PM
Jcksincty AND Vixen:I don't recall blacks ever being called moose as a racial term but I was born and raised in southern California I am use to being called a wetback ( I don't even speak Spanish!) NeNe apparently is the only head bitch that can hand out names?? NeNe has been larger than life in this season, towering over everyone, getting into peoples faces stomping her big ol" moose hooves in and out of parties, if you walk and look like a moose you must be a moose, don't get me wrong I was a NeNe fan for a long time..... David's talented pictures funny recaps and interesting comments from readers keep me checking back on the posts......keep the racial readings/ rants on CNN or AOL where it is common place.
Michele: By the way the comment on "how the sausage is made" is my line for the week!!
I will use it every chance I get :-)
I read the article and the funny part is that the Essence article from a week before was NeNE saying the opposite....how much she loved the biz and everyone in it!!
I got in late Thursday night....I turned on the TV and saw Andy with a what looked to be a un-passable Tranny sitting with legs wide open and muscular shoulders, after adjusting my eyes I realized it was SheReeRee what the F was she on??
Posted by: ReneinChino | October 26, 2009 at 12:18 AM
Nene and Kim may or may not be actual Frenemies. Looked prerty chummy outside Mr Chow's in LA the other night. Did you see the pictures of Kim pulling a Britney/Lindsay/Paris getting out of the car? Gag.
Posted by: Snarf | October 26, 2009 at 04:20 AM
to say that calling NeNe a moose = is racially charged? I think that's a bit contrived, no?
Moose are from the great White north.. and it's meant for how hulking, overbearing, and Bullish she is.
If anyone throws out racial insults..white or not..black or not = it's NeNe :
calling Kim a 'heffa'..and a 'monkey'?
calling Kandi 'ghetto'
..not to mention, she called Kandi a 'country bumpkin'..not racial (or am I wrong??) but what an insult to hurl at a woman who made her fortune while in highschool
c'mon..if Kim called either = a monkey or ghetto? wigs would have flown
NeNe can't reign her mouth in with verbal insults.. yet Kim is racist?
Posted by: boo | October 26, 2009 at 01:20 PM
Two things that stood out for me were:
1. Kim's naked portrait of herself in her bedroom. Does that rank pretty high on the narcissist scale?
2. Did anyone else notice while Kim and NeNe were arguing one or two teeth missing from NeNe's lower jaw? It was hard for me to concentrate on the arguing while trying to count how many teeth weren't there.
Posted by: Alicia | October 26, 2009 at 01:48 PM
Nene calling Kim a heffa or a monkey is not racially charged. As for her calling Kandi ghetto, b/c she is black she can get away with it. Country bumpkin is also not racial in this case. (B/c of the deep rooted history between blacks and whites in this country, whether you like it or not racism is still a sensitive subject.)
From season 1 I got the vibe from Kim that she has some prejudices when it comes to black people.
Kim has called several of the women on the show a bitch among other things so don't make it seem like Kim is not allowed to throw insults.
Posted by: Ace | October 27, 2009 at 11:24 AM
Oh, Alica - YES ... the nude photo in the bedroom and the scene actually set up to frame it in the background screamed narcissism to me.
And Nene's teeth - now that is country. She is missing a tooth on either side of the lower jaw I believe, or there's just a big ol gap. Very distracting. Close your teeth to married men!
Posted by: Austin-ite | October 27, 2009 at 10:17 PM
Oh please, Kim calling Nene a moose is not racially charged. I am a black female and yes she does resemble a moose in the face AND her behavior. Nene has thrown out plenty of insults on her own.
Posted by: Coco | October 28, 2009 at 10:53 AM
I cannot stand that SLOTH Neigh Neigh, please she was stripper???, CAN YOU IMAGINE that gigantic ass swinging around a stripper pole.
That pole would collapse, taking half the celing and God knows if the stage would take her girth let alone those poor innocent high heels that did nothing to have to be burdened with her corpulence!
The rest of those SHE-THINGS need to go
Posted by: Bryan | October 29, 2009 at 03:45 PM
I think Kim is a little racist...I think she should learn more about why black women wear wigs & hair pieces and stop saying white women are behind in the wig wearing....that is so not true...plus how offended she was when Nene wanted her to be a black woman for that photo. She would NEVER do that...it's obvious why.
Posted by: trinity | October 30, 2009 at 03:44 PM