..... you could go ahead and forget it. It would be all hell breaking loose. It's just her negative energy." We can thank Kim Zolciak for that eloquent quote about her former friend NeNe. It seems somewhat fitting after NeNe referred to Kim as a "low down dirty monkey with a wig on." That still brings a smile to my face. So whether NeNe is a mean moose or not, I couldn't resist depicting her as such.
So....... the show started with Kim and SheRee kissing and making up in order to plan an engagement party for Kandi and AJ in the very restaurant where the two had their big blow-up. They decided to put their differences to the side and work together on this project. SheRee manned up, tucked her enormous veiny penis, pushed her bangs to cover 75% of her face, and behaved in as rational a manner as she's capable of. Kim drank, smoked, and played with her wig. I was waiting for the two of them to start back with the, "you're so beautiful", "no, you're so beautiful!", "no, I'm so beautiful" banter that they so creepily had last season. Fortunately that never happened. What I want to know is how do you go from screaming at each other in the street to then a few weeks later and being all smiley as you plan a party. Are they crazy? Is this 100% scripted? Am I crazy for asking this? The answer is probably yes to all three questions.
Moving on.... SheRee got her samples and they were what you'd expect. That dress with the weird shoulder tab things looks like something you'd get eliminated from Project Runway for designing. I look forward to the runway show during next week's finale and really getting a full view at what I'll be wearing for Halloween.
Speaking of Halloween. I took copious notes on Kim's wigs as that's who I'm going to be dressed as. Should be horrifying and I can't wait. The best part of the show was when Kim's wig stylist, Derek J with a snap, came over to prep her wig for Kandi's party. He bravely removed the wig she was wearing and put on one he'd just finished for her line. And it looked, well, like something a drag queen would wear. More notes taken. As Derek J hot ironed, combed, sprayed, whipped, and waved his magic wand over her wig--- Kim revealed how much she spends on wigs a month. Get ready, she wears a hair piece only once and then chucks it at the cost of $430 per. That averages, according to Kim, to be over $12,000 a month. ON WIGS!!!! That much hair spray and 30 some hair pieces going into public landfills a month, I'm going to say her carbon footprint is bigger than that of some small companies. Kim if you're reading this, please, please, please send me one of your wigs for Halloween. I'm all about authenticity and I'd be honored to represent. I'm also a wig recycler as I've worn the same one for the last six years. Think of giving me a wig Kim as helping the planet. Do the right thing here Kim. :)
What else? Oh... NeNe, the alleged mean moose, went to meet a man who was probably her real father. I'm going to say he is her dad as that man looked exactly like Bryson, NeNe's son. It seemed odd to have such a private moment on TV, but hey.... I guess that's why we watch.
Can't wait for the finale next week and the reunion show to follow! Should be wonderfully combative.
After the Atlanta gal's season passes, it will be the return of the OC lovelies. God I've missed drawing Vicki. If you have a moment, click here and get a load of Lynne. I think she had a head transplant.
NeNe drawing done with ink on paper and digitally colored.If you enjoy looking at my drawings online, the next step would be having one or two or three in your home. Interested? Click on over to my etsy shop and take a gander. And your credit card. :) Much appreciated!
Looooove the moose drawing David! haha. I also would have looved to see a drawing of Dwight in his spandex... or maybe not :)
Posted by: deena | October 16, 2009 at 11:42 AM
For a minute I thought you meant you being Kim's WIG for Halloween not Kim herself. That would be really funny!
Posted by: Alexis | October 16, 2009 at 12:33 PM
I died when she called her a moose & that drawing just killed me!
This show has to be scripted, this kind of ish doesn't just happen.
I really thought she wore the same wig everyday, so I was in shock! They make that many terrible wigs that cost so much? I don't know much about wigs...can't you just wash it?
Posted by: trinity | October 16, 2009 at 12:45 PM
I love your episode recaps. I look forward to visiting your site the day after. Don't you think it funny that when Kim stated that all the girls get along without Nene stirring up the pot? I found it fascinating. Can't wait until next weeks episode and can't wait to read your recap. I hope Kim does send you a wig...I say bombard the show's website and even hassle Andy to see if he could swing it.
Posted by: Billy in Big D | October 16, 2009 at 01:10 PM
Amazing pic. The monkey now has its twin bookend. I think you might have depicted her atop a piece of toast because I'm so over Nene and I will never forgive her for making me root for Kim. Never. Seems like Bravo decided last night was Nene's show with the family drama, but I can't watch her anymore. Lisa at the grave site of her brother for the first time avec camera crew was bad enough.
Posted by: Michele | October 16, 2009 at 01:22 PM
I am going to have to install a seatbelt to my computer chair! I just laughed so hard when I saw NeNe as a moose, I fell on the floor.
I just can't wait to see you as Kim on Halloween. Please make sure you take lots of pictures and Kim, if you are reading, send David one of your wigs, he will do you justice! Now David, please wear Kim's "He" by He-ray's red dress. I look forward to your blog more than the actual show.
FYI-The photoshop re-toucher was working overtime on those OC housewives pictures, Tamra also looks nothing like her OLD self. I think I like the OC housewives the least, there is nothing likeable about any of them. They are all a bunch of shrill, spawned from trailer-trash, age-denying loons. AND bad mothers, every one of them.
Posted by: carlie | October 16, 2009 at 02:38 PM
I think Lynne had some "work" done!
Posted by: Dawn | October 16, 2009 at 03:26 PM
I really felt bad for NeNe I feel like she was really hurt when she met her dad. She reminded me of a lost little girl :( I'm still on Team NeNe, everyone this season keeps saying she sucks and she has a big head but I think the audience just has a short memory, she is always right abut Kim, a person with less character I have not seen ever!! She could at the very least donate those wigs to locks of love or something!!
Posted by: Maria | October 16, 2009 at 04:16 PM
Ok, Nene as Moose is freaking hilarious. The high heels are a touch of genius.
Posted by: Doodle Whore | October 16, 2009 at 07:28 PM
Perfecto on that drawing of NeNe! You have really outdone yourself Gilmore! I love it. There's not a whole lot to say after that drawing. Loves it! You are a genius. I'll be back later with my little details of the show! Talk to you in a minute.
Ciao Bella,
Angela
Posted by: Angela | October 16, 2009 at 08:08 PM
You go, Maria! And you go, Nene! I want her to keep "giving us The T" on those bitchez. Kim's just crazy. ;-)
Posted by: atdleft | October 16, 2009 at 09:26 PM
Gilmore - it would be totally fabulous if you could dress up like KIM and then take a picture with Martinique!!! I hope Kim sends you more than one wig ... Martinique would be a stunning blonde and I'm sure your nephew would love it!!! Cheers! I love your work and your posts always make me laugh!
Posted by: alyssa | October 16, 2009 at 10:29 PM
Nene is a typically dangerous person:
She flaunts her intelligence, but is really ignorant and uneducated. So she resorts to bullying and VOLUME.
A moose? Very nice parallel. We have elk in this part of the country, and they much more resemble her: tall, lumpy, top heavy, able to crush a car.
Two bad Kim didn't just rip off her wig, put her glass eye on the bar, and start wind-milling the mean-mouthed moose bitch.
Posted by: SteveDenver | October 17, 2009 at 05:16 AM
Jus' clicked on the link to the Real Housewives of OC: Do they all shop at "Shiny Stripper Dresses R Us" or some similar Fashion Island boutique?
Always goes to show that a lot of money can buy a LOT of wretched taste. I bet wardrobe has to cut the girdles off those waddling wonders. I don't watch the show, but in a few more years when one falls off her high heels and busts a hip, I will start.
I'm going to post a link on BRAVO to this blog. They need to create a crafty re-cap by David, perhaps "Real Housewives: Unplugged" because this is where the REAL SHIT gets aired. >
Posted by: SteveDenver | October 17, 2009 at 05:25 AM
I don't think I believe Kim and the wig-a-day comment. I have a sick fascination wanting to know what's under the Barbie hair.
Posted by: Jill | October 17, 2009 at 06:34 AM
You are uncanny! SheHe tucking her enormous, veiny penis is all I needed to hear!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Vern | October 17, 2009 at 08:44 AM
I hope it was clear that I meant your line about SheHe was the funniest thing ever, all I needed to make me whoop with NENE sized laughters!
Posted by: Vern | October 17, 2009 at 11:26 AM
what's happened to these women of RHOA that they've each become a charicature *cough moose..monkey* Next week Nene calls Kim a 'heffa'..sheesh. Pot, meet Kettle.
Where did the real women go?
Nene is nothing like we knew her to be last season. She now is simply ANGRY, LOUD, and TEMPESTUOUS. Kim is SO over the top and enjoying the hell out of it. Maybe she changed the least..or is having a blast, blowing the BP cash that will soon run out..like a freight-train on crack? Lisa is ..I don't know? what she's about, really (except that she's 'scripted') ..and Sheree flip-flops her alliances/friendships on a dime.
Kandi is the only member I like..and I hope she won't return. She's not meant for this madhouse of lunatics.
I wonder..did AJ find himself attacked because of his notoriety = due to the show?
If so..oy
Posted by: boo | October 17, 2009 at 12:53 PM
Maria - I agree with you - I don't believe Kim wears a new wig every day either. Either way - I hope she never donates those hideous things to locks of love - isn't it bad enough that people have cancer?
Posted by: fan | October 17, 2009 at 04:22 PM
The guy who's supposed to be HeHes father really does look like Bryson. HeHe's mom was a baller huh? A summer home? Jet setting between New York and Georgia! The aunt Nell?!?! No. Words. Ummm the counseling session, hilarious. Mrs. Joyce don't play that. On a sidenote, I believe HeRees friend Tiny Head Tonya wants to be one of the housewive's.
Has anyone else noticed that HeHe is a bit crosseyed? There's a lazy eye amongst him. Both of the eyes don't seem to be cooperating with each other.
That's all I have Gilmore baby. Talk with you soon!
Ciao Bella,
Angela
Posted by: Angela | October 17, 2009 at 04:38 PM
Gilmore you must draw Lame Lisa at some point. Oh and please draw Duh-Wrong too, please!
Love ya and as always
Ciao Bella,
Angela
Posted by: Angela | October 17, 2009 at 05:08 PM
I hate to be the lowest common denominator and all, but since I've been under the weather lately, and just slugging along, I'll go THERE.
Ummmmm.....how do we address the 'moose knuckle' situation?
Posted by: Vern | October 18, 2009 at 11:18 AM
Gilmore,
Did you see The Dish on Style network?! If not you must find last nights episode Kim does a bit as herself promoting the Kim Zolciak halloween costume. Instantly thought of you. Insightful as always
Posted by: Margo | October 18, 2009 at 02:37 PM
You know all these Atlanta she beasts are just two steps away from primates.
Posted by: Bryan | October 18, 2009 at 05:51 PM
WOW, so thats what happend to all of Lynne's money, it went into a comeplete facial overhaul!
Posted by: Bryan | October 18, 2009 at 05:53 PM
What a boring ass episode. These tired bitches have nothing to offer. And the chopity chop editing makes them all the more boring with every scene being anticlimactic. Has anyone else noticed that every episode they slip in a little blip and quick cut to a commercial? This episode's "what the hell was that?" moment was Ed painting Lisa. Huh? Does Lisa have a painting studio? There was no back story and what the F was that besides embarrassing? I download this shiz on iTunes and it's worth the buck 99 not to have to sit through commercials. That and the fact that I can press pause - like I did when NeNe showed that letter to Greg in a flashback. It appears that NeNe is not very popular with all the relatives. The illiterate poison pen letter from her aunt blasted her on her selfishness. At least this show is consistent with the tranny theme: NeNe's Aunt Nell looks more like Bryson than the gigolo dad.
Posted by: Virginia | October 18, 2009 at 07:02 PM
What a brilliant piece! I don't watch the show, but wow, you are great as ever!
Posted by: midi | October 18, 2009 at 11:08 PM
I think SheRee is tucking her "enormous veiny penis" into Tanya. What do you think?
Posted by: fan | October 19, 2009 at 02:36 PM
When Kim said that about Nene I literally spit out my mouthful of pino, I was laughing so hard! Did anyone else see Kim doing her Don't Be Tardy for Your Halloween Party Kit on The Dish (The Soup-style clip show on the Style Network)? I don't care for her but it was pretty funny, and I like that she can poke fun of herself and her lavish lifestyle.
Posted by: Katy | October 19, 2009 at 05:06 PM
Sorry Margo! I just saw your post.
Posted by: Katy | October 19, 2009 at 05:06 PM
Enormous veiny penis. Good christ.
They must have some kinda tranny competition going on between them. Did you see Lisa's eyebrows at the "engagement party"? (Kandi has no other friends than the usual RHoA crew? Really?) And at this point, I've come to the conclusion that Kim is indeed undercover.
Love your NeNe-as-Moose! My husband said, "Boy, he got that right."
Posted by: Blisterina | October 19, 2009 at 06:23 PM
The quote is actually "Dirty Low-Down Monkey...."
Posted by: ohs | October 20, 2009 at 04:27 AM
Nene the Rotten Atlanta Peach, does look like lumpy moose! Perfect observation stated by Kim!
Posted by: Bravo Fan | October 21, 2009 at 06:21 AM
I also think He-Ray and Tonya are gettin it on! Real Carpet Munchers of Atlanta!
Posted by: krabitz | October 22, 2009 at 12:54 PM
What I think is funny about them is they do still get together outside of this. Just read Kim's recent twitter about LA, she's with NeNe. Get that ??/
Posted by: Glenda | October 22, 2009 at 11:42 PM
They are all such ghetto and ugly evil women. Such desperate FRAUDS! Living beyond their means....the women are nothing but f*ck for $$$ c*nts. Nene is one UGLY ghetto monkey. I don't like her at all and she looks like a moose. She's disgusting! She needs to find Jesus and go to church the filthy ass whore.
Denise S. Matteau
Austin, Texas
Posted by: Denise S. Matteau | November 20, 2010 at 09:10 AM