The Real Housewives of Atlanta Drag Race.

I plopped down in front of my fully loaded Tivo yesterday evening and drank my body weight in Cabernet as I watched last week's Real Housewives of Atlanta.  OK, that show is ten steps beyond ridiculous with the drag queen makeup, the drag queen wigs and hairstyles, and the drag queen outfits.  This Atlanta franchise could easily add Nina Flowers and Bebe Zahara Benet from RuPaul's Drag Race to the cast next season and they'd seamlessly fit in.  Actually Nina and Bebe would probably seem normal in amongst those tarted-up Georgia peaches.
The housewife I find the most delusional would be HeRee.

I knew it would be a long episode when it began with HeRee working out with his/her personal trainer/exotic stripper and declaring she had the body of a 25 year old man.  I mean woman.  (?) HeRee also had to mention her trainer is one of the most sought after in the city and that he trains all the top celebrities and ath-a-letes in Atlanta because she wouldn't trust her pecs and nut sac to just anyone.  As she spouted off about the kind of man she wanted- I chugged a full glass of wine and hummed.  I find her to be impossibly full of it and can only bare a few seconds of her nonsense.  I also thought she looked like Tommy Davidson in drag when she attended the alter-ego party.  On the positive side, I will say I appreciate that she was working out with a face full of makeup as any good drag would.

Now please don't hate me, but...... I'm falling in like with Kim.  I know, I know it's bad.  Sure she's a giant clueless drag queen who smokes too much and flaunts her excesses which come from her still-married significant other, but there's something in there I enjoy.

That's Kim on the phone with her friend after she sang "Don't Be Tardy To The Party" and you know what--- I can't get that damn song out of my head.  I woke up humming it and caught myself quietly singing it at the gym this morning a few times. That Kandi is a wizard because she made Kim actually sound not so bad.  I mean she sounds no worse than Britney or JLO or Shakira.  
I also like that Kim made the alter-ego party all about her.  Drama, drama, drama....... NeNe, who is clearly reveling in her celebrity status, decided to do something which could bring the whole cast together because clearly most of them hate each other and have no interest in being in the same room.  So NeNe cooked up an alter-ego shoot which was kinda odd.  Shortly before the photos were unveiled, Kim stepped outside to have a smoke and bit it.  She fell down some stone steps and cut up her shins.  Kim seemed more concerned about her shoes at first as was whisked off to a parked SUV to assess her injuries causing the party to follow her outside.  With blood pouring out of her legs, her fellow cast mates talked shit about her and decided she was overreacting.  The love between these women is so warm.  Since Kim couldn't walk, they brought the pictures out to the lawn near the SUV.
If memory serves, Kim's was pretty bad.  She was a blank Stepford wife and a blank mistress.  SheRee's was probably my favorite as she looked like a drag queen being attacked by a man in a money booth.  Lisa's was fine I guess.  A girl scout and a fly-girl from In Living Color circa 1992.  Kandi's photo was good.  It meant something and I thought it was very effective.  NeNe looked like Serena Williams on elephant steroids.  Is there such a thing?  With all that personality I would have thought hers would have been the best but I think hers was tied with Kim's.
Next week's episode will be all about NeNe and Kandi yelling at each other.  Great.  More crazy drama.   What do you all think about this show.... is it still enjoyable or has it gone too far?

Both drawings are ink on 9" x 12" paper.  If you enjoy looking at my drawings online, the next step would be having one or two or three in your home.  Interested?  Click on over to my etsy shop and take a gander.  And your credit card.  :)  Much appreciated!

Comments

[Vern]

The few minutes I've seen this season were when SheHe 'worked out' her insecurity and Kim brought Retardy to the Party. (I'm using that word as a verb. people can substitute apathy if they like)
I lost interest quickly.
But I love your recaps, Gilmore, and the portrait of Kim almost makes her human to me.
I vote that you apply your skills to 'Madmen'. that show is wickedly funny!

[Nikita]

I like Kim and Kandi better than all of the women on the show. Sure, Kim looks mucho made up and talks about her things too much, and yes she talks crap about the ladies sometimes, but the others (NeNe, Lisa and SheHe) seem to be about drama for drama sake and that gets on my nerves. Good recap.

[gilmore]

I 100% agree with you.
Thanks for your message.
xoxo

[Bryan]

These SHE-THINGS, need to go!

[Dee-Dee]

You forgot to mention Kim's Ridiculous outfit that she wore to Kandi's recording studio! I nearly choked on my dinner when i saw that ridiculous pink nightgown/princess dress she couldn't even walk in properly! I also enjoy He-ree's dillusion when it comes to her being a designer and demanding that she be picked up in a luxury car and gifted tiffany's...Oh lord them ladies crack me up!

[jane]

I loved the dress Kim wore to Kandi's, but it was worn to the wrong venue. Don't know what that was all about.
I think I agree with 1 of your readers, I'm liking Kim & Kandi the most. HeRee - PuhLeez! What makes this woman think she has any status whatsoever? She's the ex of a football player and...well, she's a football player's ex. Period. Zero accomplishments. So why is she so demanding & snooty? Can't stand that bitch, wish she'd go bye bye.
Lisa, meh. I used to like her, but after she pulled her "I'll flip you over the couch" on last season's finale, I don't care for her. She's looking awfully manly, too. And her clothes in the fashion show? I guess anybody can throw a fashion show.
Nene, Nene, Nene *sigh* Is she supposed to be the fairy godmother of this sad bunch? If not, she thinks she is! She just doesn't interest me.
What I dislike most about HeRee, Lisa & Nene is their favorite hobby: bashing Kim. It actually is making Kim seem like a likable character. If it's all 3 of them together, or any 2, they're making fun of Kim. I dare Nene to call Kim a two-faced at the finale, cuz that would be the pot calling the kettle black.
Kim - She's not appealing in the least. Seems very superficial, just kind of dense. Her only saving grace is she's the target of bullies - I hate bullies.
Kandi - Now her, I like. Seems genuine & I think she sincerely cares about Kim, at least she's giving her the benefit of the doubt. (Can't wait to see what she & Nene get in a catfight over) But she's got a story, a life, and a personality ~ right on, Kandi!
As for the show, I dunno. As you said, these ladies are not friends. 3 of the 5 aren't even housewives (same w/other "real housewives", what's up w/that?). This is kinda like watching a train wreck, it's not good, but just can't turn away.

[jimmy]

"Serena Williams on elephant steroids" says it all!
I have to say, I'm loving Ne Ne this season.

[recruitment new Zealand]

Song stuck in the head. Well I always get that a lot. I truly knew how she felt singing the song she doesn’t even like.

[House movers Melbourne]

Too much gossiping is bad for your health.

[robin]

Your recaps are the best part of the show & the only reason I continue to watch! Keep up the good work!
These Atlanta 'divas' are not interesting.

[ms]

Don't Be Tardy For the Party is now available on iTunes - no joke!!!!

[atl 247]

Jane, I can't agree with you more on all your comments. The only thing I have to add to that is that I'm just really not a big fan of Kandi's laugh. It irks me a bit. Also, I read that she is not returning next season! Good for her, she's too good for this group.

He-ree- has GOT to go. She only embarrasses herself and yes, in Jane's words - 'she's a ZERO' - no accomplishments what so ever.

I live in Atlanta, and these ladies give the people that are from here a terrible name. They don't even live in the city. I feel like this one over the other housewives is the most embarrassing. But that's just me!

[angela]

oh how i've missed your commentary, most of my enjoyment from the show comes from what you have to say about it! to say i checked everyday in your absence to see if you had posted would be an understatement!

[Nancy]

"With blood pouring out of her legs, her fellow cast mates talked shit about her and decided she was overreacting."

EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!

[www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=634654713]

Can we please discuss when HeRee was on the "yes" and "no" machine that her armpits looked totally gross?

[Susan]

From the Atlanta Journal:

UPDATE: Kim Zolciak’s manager quits, dishes

8:17 am September 23, 2009, by Richard Eldredge

Jonathan Jaxson and Kim Zolciak in happier times. Twenty one days ago. Photo by Rodney Ho/AJC staff

Jonathan Jaxson and Kim Zolciak in happier times. Twenty one days ago. Photo by Rodney Ho/AJC staff

“Real Housewives of Atlanta” cast member Kim Zolciak is back on the outs with her publicist/manager Jonathan Jaxson.

On Wednesday morning, Jaxson once again went on Atlanta’s airwaves to air his grievances with the Bravo reality show cast member. Jaxson appeared in studio with B98.5 FM’s Steve McCoy and Vikki Locke to announce that he’s resigned as Zolciak’s manager and publicist because “she’s a habitual liar.”

He claimed that Zolciak has lied about her past as a stripper and that she indeed once danced at The Cheetah.

As “Real Housewives of Atlanta” addicts will recall, just this month, Jaxson appeared on Q100’s Bert Show with Zolciak to announce that all was forgiven (they had sued each other earlier this year) and they were once again working together as the alleged singer’s single, “Tardy for the Party” debuted on iTunes.

On September 2, Jaxson accompanied Zolciak to Blake’s on the Park in Midtown to promote the dance song.

But on Wednesday, Jaxson had the claws out again, claiming his former client spends “up to $200,000 a month.” He also previewed that viewers may finally get a glimpse of Zolciak’s married beau “Big Poppa” when he turns up in one of the second season’s remaining episodes with a large carat diamond for Zolciak.

Jaxson also claimed that Bravo will be filming the second season’s reunion special Oct 7 and 8 here in Atlanta.

Zolciak was tuned in during Jaxson’s segment but declined an invitation to call in.

Texted Zolciak to McCoy and Locke: “He is disgusting.”

But apparently, the weave wearer wasn’t taking Jaxson’s claims all that seriously.

In follow up texts to Steve and Vikki she added: “I have my kids in the car” and “I can’t stop laughing.”

To hear Jaxson’s interview, click here.

Watch video of the interview on Steve and Vikki’s Facebook page.

[maggie]

I am completely behind on my RHoA viewing.
I saw Kandi this morning on Wendy Williams show, love that show. Kandi is no longer with AJ, she has custody/providing for his twin 12 year old girls. I knew she was a good person. Thank god she did not marry him. Hopefully she will be able to steer the girls in the right direction and they will have a bright future. And her own daughter will still get the attention she deserves.

[Blisterina]

I dunno, Nina Flowers & Bebe Zahara Benet have talent, taste & class. I vote for Rebecca Glasscock as the newest cast member.

But I'd love to hear Ru rip these Atlanta, er, *gals* on the runway!

[Blisterina]

Oh, and can I mention? I've seen some chilling stuff graffito'd on LA's walls -- but that Vicki Face on your new banner might be creepier than any gang tag!

[Adgirl]

can't wait until Mr Pretty sees this weeks epi!!
Pee-Yoo sumtin' smells bad at HeRees party and it's Mz Me Me Reeks! Damn that woman is a nasty one.

[M. O'Connell]

You said it, Adgirl. Ne Ne has let her fifteen minutes of fame go to her big fat head. How 'bout all that smilin' she was doing in Kim's face? And demanding a best-seller from her not-so-ghost writer? She sure has a lot of confidence for an illegitimate formerly-abused former-stripper with a drop-out son (He didn't last long -- even with DaWight's $7,000 pimp suit selection) who was evicted last year from her rented home "in an exclusive, gated community) If she's "the Joneses" in Atlanta, God help that city.

[Ubiquitous]

HeRay's delusions of grandeur know no bounds, but the funniest thing about her Alter-Ego shoot is that the digs made at her expense went way over her head. "Yeah, right, Sheree, you're a glamorous fashionista and your money-grabbing-thug alter-ego is NOTHING like you at all!"