Pretty On The Outside

True Blood. Fashion fun with Merlotte's waitress Daphne. I mean Ashley Jones.

This isn't going to be a typical True Blood posting.  I'm in the deep end of an illustration project which needs to be completed by this Friday afternoon so I unfortunately don't have the time to whip up a True Posting. :( Fortunately I just received some fashionable photos of Ashley Jones, who plays the shape-shifting waitress Daphne. Fun facts: She is double Emmy nominated, plays on Bold and the Beautiful, and has appeared in many films as well as guest starred in television series.

Busy gal.  Here she's swapped her Merlottes t-shirt for a snappy, fun-for-fall scarf by D&Y.

Pure Pop Culture silliness.......

Amy Winehouse goes to court in this snappy Ann Taylor Loft Dress Like A Punk Secretary ensemble. Dlisted
Original illustration here.

True Blood will be a Happy Hour item at Comic Con this weekend.  I'm going on Saturday and I'll be sampling.  God I hope Eggs is the bartender!  La Rag Mag

Simon Cowell really needs some sun screen.  His sunburn is precocious, dreadful, and a bit cabaret.  Oh La La Mag
Original illustration here.

Drunk celebrity faces.  Courtney Love is the winner? in my opinion.  City Rag

True Blood. Let me help you find your way back to joy.

Let me cover a few important stats from last week's True Blood.  It took 11 minutes into the show before we saw Jason Stackhouse shirtless.  Too long!  It took 13 minutes before we saw Eggs shirtless.  Unacceptable! And 17 minutes before we saw Bill shirtless.  I'm writing an angry email after I post this!  All was forgiven at about 35 minutes into the program when Sarah Newlin, the minister's wife of the Christian anti-vampire cult The Light Of Day Institute, decided to slip into the bathroom where Jason Stackhouse was enjoying a soak after a long day of Soldiers Of The Sun training.  Oh Sarah knew what she was doing when dressed in that kitschy floral print cardigan, high-waisted jeans, and a perfect blow out--- locked the bathroom door behind her and slinked up to the bathing stud.  Even if that tub was filled with ice water, it would instantly boiled when his fine ass hit it. 
Jason was all "HUH?" and "Wha?" as his brow furrowed and guiltily looked around like a kid opening a Christmas present early.  Sarah cautiously yet determinedly began her seduction of Mr Stackouse.  She went New Testament as she began her moves. Crouched by the tub, she pushed up her right sleeve, grabbed a shower puff, and gently started rubbing his perfectly toned pecs. "Mary Magdalene washed the feet of Jesus and dried them with her hair." 
Jason seemed confused. 
"She admired Jesus...." Sarah went on, "She loved him.  And she wanted to show him....."  This she said as the hand holding the shower puff dropped below the water's surface on an express course for his goods.  Lucky girl.  Jason kind of tried to stop her but she insisted that she was just rewarding him for a good day's training.  It's God reward.  Then she said the best thing ever which I put in the title of this posting.  "Let me help you find your way back to joy" as she began jerking him off under the water.  
How's about a round of applause for Sarah?! 

That's the look on Jason's face as he was receiving his reward. It looked like he found his joy in about three seconds.  :) 
In my last posting, I said that Egg's backside was my mental safe place.  This week I've changed it to that bathtub.  If I'm having a stressful time this week and need a Calgon, Take Me Away moment--- I'll be thinking of Jason in that tub.  I'm not sure if thinking of a nude, soaking Jason will in fact de-stress me, but it certainly will make that moment more pleasant. 

That's it for this week.  I know it's a shorty but I've got a number of things I'm working on.  Back soon!

Drawing of Mr Stackhouse is ink on paper with digital color.

If you enjoy looking at my drawings online, the next step would be having one or two or three in your home.  Interested?  Click on over to my etsy shop and take a gander.  And your credit card.  :)  Much appreciated!

The Real Housewives of Orange County. Add one more blond to the heap.

Behold Alexis Bellino the latest addition to the Orange County cast.  She looks fairly normal, kind of like an entertainment reporter.  I'm getting a Nancy Odell vibe from her in that picture. I'm hoping that calm and slightly frozen face is masking her true nature: an aggressively vicious man-eating, husband-stealing, lie-telling gold digger. Kind of like Gretchen.  Or perhaps she's a simple, kindhearted gal?  :)  From chronicling this series for several years now, I've been fortunate to get lots of insider dish from people who are involved with the show.  One of my favorite gossip birdies dropped off a delightful email just the other day with some choice info about Alexis.  According to my birdie:
"Alexis and her husband are renting a house for the filming to fake out viewers." 
And....
"Her husband is dying to have a 'celebrity' wife."
And....
"She's dumber than a bag of hammers."
Thank you gossip birdie!  Could Alexis actually be dumber than Lynne?  Is that even possible?  I guess we'll have to wait and see.  In the meanwhile, you can read more about the "32-year-old spicy blond who unabashedly lives life on her terms" in this E! Online article.  You can also have a look at Alexis getting chummy with Gretchen in this Radar Online article.  With all that blond hair and botox, it's hard to tell who's who in that photo.
Looking forward to meeting and drawing you Alexis!  Until then.............

If you enjoy looking at my drawings online, the next step would be having one or two or three in your home.  Interested?  Click on over to my etsy shop and take a gander.  And your credit card.  :)  Much appreciated!

True Blood. Shake and fingerpop and a spectacular backside.

True Blood returned last night after an unfortunate absence last weekend.  I'd forgotten that it wasn't going to be on last sunday and I believe I screamed NOOOOOO!!!! for a solid minute when I made that unfortunate discovery.  It was worth the wait as last night was one of the best episodes yet.
Tara, the birthday girl, got the best present ever when she took a naked ride on the hotness express known as Eggs. I'll get to that later in the posting.  Tara I have to say has been a difficult character for me to get into.  The rest of cast either has some sort of supernatural ability, or there's an air of mystery about them. Tara just seems like a damaged young woman surrounded with sadness.
Maryann taking such a big interest in her does make me wonder if Tara has some untapped power..... Hmmmm......?  Maybe she's chosen to have an unholy child with Eggs?  Hmmmm...?  I could go on and on with these questions but I'll stop.  Tara got a serious case of the creeps after Maryann's last house party/ orgy where everyone was humping everyone so she decided to take Sookie up on her offer of moving in.  As Tara was telling Maryann her goodbyes, I hit pause on my TIVO, busted out some Pantone pens and did this drawing below.....

This is the perpetually partying Maryann giving Tara these final words of indulgence, I mean wisdom, "Go...... Flourish....... And don't ever say no to yourself."
*****Warning*****  There's quite possibly the best exposed ass ever seen on TV in the continuation link.  *****You're warned!******

My 10 year old nephew and his mannequin Martinique. Martinique, is there something you'd like to tell us?

About a year and a half ago, my then 9 year old nephew called me excitedly one afternoon saying his mom had just bought him a female display mannequin.  He went on and on about the outfits he'd create for her, the photos he'd take of her, the wigs he's style for her, where he'd display her.......  I think my smile burst out of both sides of my face as he spoke.  I too had a mannequin around that same age, her name was Jennifer, and she was definitely my muse for many years.  During that time of dressing her up, putting makeup on her, and placing in various rooms in my parent's home, I never once wondered about my mannequin's past?  Selfish of me?  Maybe. Has my nephew given any thought as to what Martinique was up to earlier this decade?  Hmmmmmm.......  I don't know. 
Here's the lovely and elegant Martinique as we're used to seeing her presently in a variety of astonishing looks all created by my talented nephew.  Click on this link to get all caught up on Martinique and my nephew.

Art links........

Are you watching Nurse Jackie on Showtime?  I just started and I think I may be hooked.  Edie Falco the actress can do no wrong, but her character Jackie is full of contradictions: a nurse with a drug addiction and a loving wife who is having an affair with the hospital's pharmacist (to get those drugs). Her halo and her horns seem to be in a constant tug o' war.  Good stuff!
I was just checking Brooklyn-based illustrator Shane Harrison's blog, whose work I'm a big of, and saw the following Nurse Jackie photo-illustration she did for New York Magazine.

Gorgeous and so spot-on especially if you're familiar with the show.

Being in an art state of mind, I then clicked over to Drawn and saw this image which looks like a print of an old photo.....

.... but it's all done by hand.  So crazy cool!  Click here for a closeup on Drawn.

Gossip is good, but art is better.   

Lovely Links..........

Times are tough--- the Beckhams are back to stripping.  Oh La La Mag

I haven't seen electrical tape covered nipples since I went to Seattle's Gay Pride Parade about 9 years ago.  Thanks Lady GaGa for the refresher!  La Rag Mag

Did anyone happen to see Swept Away, the Madonna version?  Sadly, I did.  The co-star Adriano Giannini is running about au naturel in this link.  Nudity warning NSFW!  Omg Blog

Awkward celebrity boners.  City Rag

I had a little extra fun with that Becks image............ 

Kelly Bensimon in W Magazine

W Magazine online just did a great interview with Kelly the recently added and slightly addled Real Housewife of New York City.  And and and they included one of my illustrations of her.  Color me flattered!  To quote my freshly tattooed muse Vicki Gunvalson, "Woo Hoo!"   In that interview Kelly discusses: being a hoop queen, her "Pocahontas goes to the Disco" jewelry collection, the owl necklace controversy, and the catty factor on the show (which she mistakenly calls chatty).  Just for giggles--- count how many times she says like.  Be sure and watch out for the editor's notes... they are like the best.

Click here to read the interview.

Thanks W Magazine! 

The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Ah ha ha ha ha ha.....

..... Ah ha ha ha ha ha.... AH ha ha ha!  And I'm done.  Take your laptop into an empty closet, single occupancy bathroom, your bedroom, or anywhere that's private and watch the following spoof by KCSCougar.  And enjoy.  The language is definitely on the NSFW side so only play this in an environment where the "F" and "C" words are celebrated.  In my home, that's every room.