Show of hands...... how many of you are in love with True Blood on HBO? My hand is happily raised. It's soft core porn meets soap opera meets B horror film- which has mixed perfectly to yield addictive television. There's an endless stream of undressed hotness, plenty of laughs, lots of gay undertones (it's been said repeatedly that the vampires have "come out of their coffins"), and camp galore. I remember watching the very first episode and wondering what the hell was that? I think it was about halfway through the third show when I realized this was the best thing on TV and that I'd forever be a fan. That's just my humble opinion. Alan Ball, of Six Feet Under fame, created this show so how could it be anything other than good? Alan is going on my Christmas card list this year. We are already on the third episode of the second season so I'll assume that if you're still reading this posting, that you must be a viewer. Just in case you've never seen it--- I'll say briefly that it takes place in present time in a small Louisiana town called Bon Temps which curiously translates to good times. Thanks high school french classes! There's a synthetic blood drink called True Blood which allows vampires to opt out of feeding on humans. Not all vampires are on board with this though and therein is part of the tension. Besides vampires, Bon Temps seemingly is a magnet for all sorts of paranormal creatures. Some of those creatures come in peace: Sam Merlotte the owner of Merlotte's restaurant and bar can turn into a dog at will, and others we aren't so sure about: Maryann who sends people into a sexual trance when she dances complete with their eyeballs turning entirely black. She also does a crazy pulsating movement which looks like my TV has taken acid. I think she's Dionysus, the greek goddess of ecstasy and ritual madness. Sounds about right. This certainly isn't the typical type of program for me to recap--- usually I chronicle the missteps of new money lunatics on Bravo. Speaking of, the New Jersey Housewives just finished and there's no sign of a Real Housewives of _____, so I will give True Blood a try. This is just a test. Testing, testing...........
That's Sookie Stackhouse one of the main characters and she often has that pissed off- I know you're a vampire but I'm not gonna take any sh*t from you- look on her face. The episode began with Sookie, her 173 year vampire boyfriend Bill, and Jessica the high school student Bill "made" wildly driving home. Oh Bill was pissed as Sookie had taken Jessica to see her family who had assumed she was dead. This posting will take forever if I recap everything so let me skip over that family incident for now. Bill was in an icy blooded rage as he screamed at Sookie, which was totally hot by the way, and Jessica sat in the backseat crying blood.... a lot like a Andy Cohen hosted reunion show, right? Sookie, wearing impossibly short plaid shorts, a tank top, and a denim jacket, threw a fit and demanded to be let out the car 20 miles from home. She was all, "I'd rather walk home than spend one more minute in that car with you Bill!" Snap!
So out of the car she stormed off in an oh no that undead man didn't type of way. She hadn't gotten more than 100 yard before a dude with a bull's head charged at her, knocked her to the ground, crawled her back up, and then split. That's right, Sookie was attacked by a minotaur in the Louisiana woods. Bill quickly came to her aid and offered her some of his blood which normally heals us mortals in seconds. It wasn't working as Sookie frothed at the mouth, convulsed and Jessica appropriately said gross.
They raced off to the vampire bar Fangtasia, remember I said there was plenty of camp, in order to seek Eric a 1,000 year old vampire's help. I have to mention here that Eric is a tall, blond, cool drink of purified water who had some unfortunate quasi-long hair until last episode. With his new, shorter, slicked back hairstyle- his hotness factor multiplied by ten. That's also just my humble option.
Eric summoned a doctor who just happened to be a feisty little person that wasn't sure what had attacked Sookie but was sure she'd bite the big one if they didn't act fast. The mini Dr dug her finger around in Sookie's open wound after she poured some sort of tonic over it. Sookie screamed, Sookie barfed a little, Sookie slept it off and Sookie survived. Yeah Sookie!
Waking up the next morning in Fangtasia, Sookie encountered the human waitress who has the same hairstyle I had in junior high: bleached to all hell and feathered to death. Sookie who- did I mention can read minds- read the waitress with my old hairstyle and discovered her friend Layette was chained up in the basement. Oh Lord, here we go again..... there's too much back story about that but sufficed to say he was a "trick" and peddler of vampire blood which goes by the street name of V. Lafayette pissed off Eric and as such was being kept as a pet in the basement. Sookie went ballistic when she found him and vowed to get him released.
When Bill and Eric awoke, Sookie flew into a blind rage demanding Lafayette be set free.
That's the dreamy Eric with his new, better hair agreeing to release Lafayette should Sookie go to Dallas where some major missing Vampire sh*t has gone down. We don't know what happened other than an elder Vamp has disappeared and this is of grave concern. Enough about that storyline.
It took 11 minutes into the show before Jason holy f**king hotness Stackhouse appeared. And he was shirtless. Win, win. Here's that photo courtesy of Superfan Hero. Warning, there's some naughty adult stuff on that site so you're warned. Click here for more photos from the show.
Jason is a f**k first, ask questions later type of guy. He's kinda like a dirtier, hunkier, dumber version of Brad Pitt from Thelma and Louise. After watching his insane girlfriend kill the docile, pays-for-sex gay vampire that they'd kidnapped (I know, too much back story), Jason needed to open a new chapter in his life. That new chapter would be from the holy bible. Seems he's found himself in a Vampire hating Christian Cult lead by a dorky youth minister and his 1950s looking wife who wants to pull her panties to the side so bad every time she sets her eyes on that sculpted sex machine. I feel the same way. For those of you who watched the show, I'd say by episode five he'll have had her banana pudding in every position imaginable. Enough of that storyline.
That's Maryann the frenzy inducer. She's a mix of Jennifer Love Hewitt and Wonder Woman and if you want to throw a really, really, really wild party- you should invite her. She's befriended the damaged Tara and has taken her in as a house guest. But why? What's she got in store for Tara? Also living in the house is someone so freakin hot that my fingers are burning as I type this.
This is Eggs.
Sweet Jesus! That's also Eggs. I remember him from the last time I watched Desperate Housewives, maybe four years ago? He dated Bree Vandekamp's daughter and had the slow brother that was locked up in the basement. But I digress..... I can't remember what's going on with Eggs other than each of his pecs are the size of a sofa cushion and I'd like to have a seat. He's also, fortunately, rarely wearing a shirt. Enough of that storyline.
So the show ends with Sam, who can turns into a dog, jumping into a lake to cool off before he heads off to wherever he was packing up to head off to. Out of nowhere, the new waitress at Merlotte's Daphne asks if she can join him in a swim? As she removes her top we see the same claw mark that Sookie suffered from the minotaur!!!!! WTF!!!!!!!!!! What the hell is going on in this town?
Your thoughts............
Each of the three drawings are done in ink on 9" x 12" hot pressed watercolor paper.
If you enjoy looking at my drawings online, the next step would be having one or two or three in your home. Interested? Click on over to my etsy shop and take a gander. And your credit card. :) Much appreciated!
I absolutely love this show to no end. You captured the sultry Eric so well....he's quite yummy!
Posted by: Anthony | June 29, 2009 at 09:59 PM
OMG! I was terrified of the cowman, hope they bar-B-Q him real soon. I loved Eric’s hair the old way, I miss it.
What the hey is up with Lafayette? Was he turned or not?
Jason is a walking penis. lol
Well Pudin pop, you hit the steak on the head, great post, amazing writing, and cracking me up as usual. Thank you sweetie for blogging true blood, hugs and kisses doll.
Posted by: Texas Housewife | June 29, 2009 at 10:08 PM
"Sookie, wearing impossibly short plaid shorts, a tank top, and a denim jacket" OooooooohEeeeeeeeee! You forgot to mention Eric's zip front, blue, addidas sweat suit.
LOVE LOVE LOVE that you're recaping this show.
Carry on.
Posted by: Alexis | June 30, 2009 at 05:05 AM
Love, love, LOVE that you're recapping TB! Plz to draw Sam, I love his face.
Posted by: kim | June 30, 2009 at 05:09 AM
Ugh. I ordered the first season on Netflix. Look what you've done to me!
Posted by: Oh Mandy! | June 30, 2009 at 05:22 AM
Yay you did it! Love how Ball incorporated that "Puritans gone wrong" theme with Jason Hottie Stackhouse!
Posted by: Erica | June 30, 2009 at 06:31 AM
I can't remember how I found your site, but I'm so glad I did! I LOVE your recaps and drawings. Can't wait to read more of your True Blood recaps, as always you crack me up!
Eric's new 'do' is HOT!
Posted by: Beth | June 30, 2009 at 08:46 AM
Maryanne's a Maenad.
Posted by: Julie | June 30, 2009 at 09:47 AM
I was smitten with True Blood after the opening credits of the first episode of the first season. It's the highlight of the weekend . Smart-sexy and O so great to look at.The BEST ensemble cast on TV-a total escape from all the cares of the world.
Posted by: bontempsroule | June 30, 2009 at 12:05 PM
Daphne's scratches are not from the same place as Sookie's...I think the writers are just trying to make you think that but it will open another story line with Sam. =)
Posted by: Jane | June 30, 2009 at 09:09 PM
"...and this is of grave concern." Ba-dump-bump! Gilmore, you slay me. Ha!
Best theme song on TV, and man how I wish I had a name like "Sookie Stackhouse."
(And I think Julie's probably right about the Maenad thing.)
Posted by: Blisterina | June 30, 2009 at 09:24 PM
I absolutely love this series. Every character is fantastic but I think my favorite is Tara. Man, she has been through it! Jason is a Cajun version of Brad Pitt's T&L character for sure but I think I'd rather hook up with Jason...just something about him.
The theme is awesome. I also like the songs that end each show...something relevant to what just happened on the episode.
Love it and love you, too!!!
Posted by: Tee | July 01, 2009 at 12:53 PM
I so wanted them to turn LaFayette. He would have been the most whorific vampire ever! Too bad. Eric seems like the kind to hold a grudge.
On another note, Bill -?- good influence on Jessica? She went with the local from Merlotte's and didn't bite him. I liked that.
Posted by: Afire Cracker | July 01, 2009 at 04:57 PM
Gilmore-please do yourself the good turn of seeing the whole crazy first season. This show is as addictive as......real blood to a true vampire
Posted by: Luluduc | July 01, 2009 at 07:02 PM
Read Charlaine Harris' books - they are so much better. Hotter, steamier, the characters are more developed, and if you have an imagination, WOW! Can they be fun!
Posted by: book lover | July 02, 2009 at 06:17 AM
All my shows on my DVR are reality but I'll have to check it out!
Posted by: deena | July 02, 2009 at 11:04 AM
Hey Gilmour. I too have been glamoured by True Blood. I've read all the books the series is based on (9 in total so far) and thers's enough difference between the books and the series to make it interesting. Tara for example isn't mentioned untill book 3. A major charecter (in the series) is offed in book 2 where they were barley a footnote. You get the idea..
Posted by: Snarf | July 02, 2009 at 02:55 PM
thank you thank you thank you! I have adored this show since the first scene of the first season. Can't wait for your drawing of Lafayette!
Posted by: Juleigh | July 02, 2009 at 11:51 PM
LOVE IT. Love true blood, agree with everything. perfect.
Posted by: ali | July 05, 2009 at 10:17 AM
Do they call him Eggs because he is a breakfast food? YUM!
Posted by: Vern | July 09, 2009 at 07:14 PM
they call him eggs cause his real name on the show is benedict
Posted by: jizzy | July 28, 2009 at 12:48 PM