The Real Housewives of New York City. Let's get it goin.

I am so pleased with this new season of The Real Housewives of New York City.   A huge part of that enjoyment would be Bethenny Frankel.  Although she's not technically a housewife--- not married, doesn't have kids, and I don't believe has ever been married--- but who cares?  She's a ton of fun in a pin thin body.  Her quick quips and friendship with Jill is a hoot and a half to watch.

Bethenny, pictured above, and Jill are the new Laverne and Shirley.  The new Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker.  The new Will and Grace. I look forward to what their friendship brings.

 

On the left is a drawing of Bethenny from last season, just for fun.  Their  friendship is great to watch as Bethenny is clearly a driven, worked out hard-body, who is pushing and striving to attain her success.  Jill seems content.  She's made it.  She's has her husband, child, homes, a gay husband, and a fabulous life style.  Their chemistry makes for good TV. 

In sharp contrast--- Alex and Simon McCord are no fun to watch.  Actually, I take that back.  They're fun in that the joke is on them and their social climbing attempts.

 

Take a look at him.  Lean in close to your computer screen and take a whiff.  If I captured him correctly you should be picking up notes of: inappropriate speedo usage, lavender suede loafers, and bullsh*t.  When he was getting the massage this week I threw up a little out my right nostril, which really stung.  The scene seemed longer than the Curious Case of Benjamin Button.     

 

Both drawings are of his conjoined twin wife Alex drawn last season. They are their children, Baguette and Bonjour, live in Brooklyn which I know is a burrough but I believe that's an east coast way of saying suburb. 

I lived in NYC for two years and always smiled when I'd be at Starbucks in the drink line and the cashier would say next on line.  I'm used to hearing next in line as I'm standing in a line. When my west coast friends would come to visit, we'd pop into a coffee shop or deli and I'd say wait for it, wait for it...... and without fail, on our turn, would come the "next on line."  What the f*ck would be the usual response when at a safe distance.  Online?  We're not connected to the internet.  But I digress.  See what Alex and Simon do to me?  I'm just waiting for Alex to say again, "I don't ever want to live in the suburbs" while making a face like she's being deskinned.  Actually, the drawing above on the right is that face after the suburb comment.  

There's also some royalty by marriage on the show which would be Bishopess LuAnn De Lesseps.  Or is she Duchess De LeFullofHerself?  Or High Priestess De LeI'mBetterThanYou?  Or Saint Manners De LeI'mWritingAbookOnManners?  Countess?  That's it---- Countess LuAnn De Lesseps! 

 

The Countess wants us all to believe she has it together.  She speaks in that air of sophistication which seems really put on.  LuAnn's really trying to keep a lid on it but I think by the end of the season she may bite someone. 

This is another image from last season on the left.  Ok, I don't imagine the Miss Manners book writing Countess would go all Mike Tyson and chew off an ear chunk, however I do think she's gonna snap at some point.  Anyone that buttoned up and trying to be a beacon of refinement I would say is trying to cover up something.  That's my assessment.  When she barked at her husband over the phone for being late to their daughter's horse race or when she tried to whisper lucky bitch to the new housewife in regards to being unmarried--- I think we saw a glimpse at the unraveling.  Love that Bravo put subtitles under her saying that.  Flash to the reunion show and Andy Cohen calling her on it.  The Countess will have a surprised look and say, "I don't recall saying that Andy.  Are you sure I said that?  Did you notice my excellent posture Andy though during that clip?  And you have excellent posture Andy." 

I'm not wishing bad things for the Countess.  She's probably a nice person.  ??? She did score some points when they went to the big gay tea dance in the Hamptons and The Countess wore those Dame Edna meets Phylis Diller glasses and that head scarf.  Go ahead Countess!

So the last lady I'm drawing is my favorite, Ramona.  She's bat sh*t crazy and I couldn't be more pleased.  She has diarrhea of the mouth and crazy of the eyes.  She has that wild-eyed look of a spooked horse that may just trampled over of you.

More Ramona Singer drawings from last season.   I love her loose cannon behavior, her wild fits, and the way she describes things as "classy".  Typically those who use that word, rarely come close to actually being anywhere near that.  I do like that she described Alex and Simon as being strange and not buying into them.  I'd love to hear the voices in her head at work.  If I put my ear to hers, it would probably sound like a fax machine going off mixed when circus music.

Anyway--- I'm hooked on the show.  I kinda miss my sweet Vicki Gunvalson but I'm glad to say goodbye to the Naked Wasted shenanigans for now.  I'll welcome them back though next season with my tivo remote in one hand and a glass of wine in the other. 

All drawings are archival ink on 9" x 12" hot pressed watercolor paper.  These drawings are for sale for a mere $50 each.  These drawings as well as all my reality TV drawings are for sale.  Email at prettyontheoutsidegilmore@yahoo.com

Thanks to all of you who have been snapping these up!  Much appreciated.

If you enjoy looking at my drawings online, the next step would be having one or two or three in your home.  Interested?  Click on over to my etsy shop and take a gander.  And your credit card.  :)  Much appreciated!

Comments

[Mandy]

I can't wait for you to draw the McCords.

[Wizzie]

Love it! Oh...RaMOAN-ah!
Thanks for yet another greta pic!
xoxo

[fatty mcfat]

Oh David - "eau de Bullsh*t". I love it!
These people are worth every penny Bravo pays them.

how much does Bravo pay them?

p.s. Bethany is great - but that nose job is criminal.

[Jeff]

...Anyone that buttoned up and trying to be a beacon of refinement I would say is trying to cover up something. That's my assessment...

I couldn't agree with this statement more! When you have to study it that hard its because you needed to learn it all from the ground up! I had a boss once like her who always claimed he was from a particular WASPy Suburb but his ex-boyfriend always called him out that he was actually from the poor white trash town next door.

[Maggie]

LuAnne has that trailing laughter that makes me think she is one percocet and 2 glasses of champagne away from going Tom Cruise kinda crazy.
I think her maid Rosa senses it too. She came back from her vaca in the Philippines looking thin and refreshed, could she have her eye on the Count?
I do not have TiVo, so I can't be certain I think Simon flashed us getting out of the sauna, a wee little bit. He is just a little too comfortable with his body. And he makes my skin crawl, there needs to be some requirements met before a man can purchase a Speedo. Poor Ramona when Kelly dissed her at the track, I was actaully embarrassed for her. Vicky would NEVER have taken that. Thanks for your hardwork Gilmore such a pleasure to read.

[atdleft]

It's too bad we can't import our other faves, like Vicki and Nene, to NYC. You wouldn't want to know how much I'd pay just to be in the same room as the gals as Vicki & Ramona go batsh*t on each other as Jill & Nene get all outrageous with their gay husbands! ;-)

[Honey]

oh no you didn't call those kids Baguette and Bonjour... so funny! Please draw simon and Alex all glammed out in front of their crackhouse ... what was up with that?
As always ... love you~

[Jessica]

You slay me. Keep it up.

[jimmy]

What is so great about Ramona (besides her name) is her unpredictability. You never know with her and that makes her a great character. And you capture her so well. Looks like Ramona and the Countess get into it next week.

[Velouria]

OH DEAR GOD! Those drawings of Luann are perfection!

[Delilah]

Are Ramona's lips really that thick? I remember noting how thin and creepy pale they looked.

As for Alex and Simon, my husband walked through the room when the Speedo episode was on, and said, "Those people look like con artists."

[mike from oc]

Gilmore, you're brilliant. Did you notice Alex's toes when she was getting a foot massage. They looked like a nesting spot for centipedes. They had more cracks and fizzures than the San Andreas fault. Simon and his hairy nipples made me vomit in my mouth. I ran out of tick tacks after seeing that Chia Pet getting a rub down.

The Countass is a complete joke. Seems to me that her "Count" is away from her all the time for a reason. I'm hoping someone gets the dirt on how many women he has overseas. She's got one foot on a banana peel and the other in divorce court. Jills mother looks like a cross between Leona Helmsley and Wilt Chamberlain. Check out her eyebrows too.

[Mary]

Love the drawings, enjoy the sarcasm,but having a hard time understanding the blogs/castmates unease with Simon and Alex. So what if they think they are fabulous? Compared to my real,real,housewife life,they are! Unlike a lot of couples on these shows they really enjoy each other, spending most of the time of the show drowning each other in compliments beats the others saying catty things about each other. They seem to be in a life-long Thin Man movie, which beats some of these in the life-long Virginia Wolf (sic?) by a mile.

[Borg Queen]

I think Bethenny did get married to that "Jason" fellow (off camera and btwn seasons) and by the time the new season started filming she was getting divorces. But I still love her and her jokes about Jill. I agree with Delilah, find sum dirt about her hubby and his other women. He spends an awful lot of time away from her.

[Katie]

Oh I can't wait until next week when (as revealed above) Simon and Alex mention that their crackhouse is getting renovated. They can't wait for their "real" vacation to St. Bart's where Alex visited as a child. I guess all of that jet setting around as a child prevented her from getting her messed up teeth fixed.

[Diane]

Ooooh, I hate to nitpick, but I think you may have drawn Simon just a tad too manly and not nearly pasty enough! {{shudders...I just got a virtual whiff.}}

[Former Nun]

Would you consider (at least imagine...for your own amusement--pronounce this word in French)drawing one of them: Simon or Alex as a parasitic twin of the other? Reading "conjoined twins" above just put a wicked thought in my cramped mind.

[Anthony]

We get a dose of that batsh*t crazy with Ramona that we would normally get from Vicky. Though I do miss those OC gals, I am excited to see RHoNYC and see the dramamine there!

[Tara]

Hey...I love, love your drawings and sense of humor. One question, though, and I'm just completely curious. How come you have never drawn Jill? She's the only NY housewife you haven't. She may not be as expressive as the others, but she comes out with some major outfits. My favorite is the cher-inspired apartment hunting ensemble she wore last season. lol Keep drawing! And Keep sharing!

[Carlie]

As always your drawings are right on. You captured them in all of their creepy-ness.

I got a whiff of Simon off of your drawing: a mixture of stale body odor and well-seasoned pedophilia....I picture him getting together (forcing himself) with his wife when she was still underaged (she the product of really old money, so old that it is all gone) and those two lttle monsters Baguette and Bonjour..somebody give those two a haircut. I have to say thse old gals look like they are gonna give the Orange County ho-bags a run for their money!

[suz]

Supposedly Alex was a model but with those teeth- thinning hair and gross feet I wonder what she modeled.
I wonder why she hasn't gotten veneers?

[Momma T]

Gilmore - You are so awesome! Drawings and commentary are perfect! The Housewives are truly a sight to behold, but you, my dear, make it all ever sooo much better!

[Ubiquitous]

Great drawings, Gilmore!

The Cuntess is such a pretentious little bitch, but at least she manages to maintain a classy regal appearance, unlike the Snarla and Simon, whose desperate social-climbing makes my TV emitt strange odors whenever they appear. Case in point; they went to the Hamptons (but not to hob-nob, no siree!) and tried to convince the viewers how fabulous that dump they rented was.

[Jaime]

Honestly, I found this show a bit of a snoozefest but after reading your account...I suppose I'll give it one more chance!

[Dr. Peter Ripterhymen]

you're being too kind to Alex ... for someone that wants to try to keep up appearances she's got a LONG way to go to get her grill fixed --- she looks like she could eat corn through a picket fence with those chompers

[Cam]

"LuAnne has that trailing laughter that makes me think she is one percocet and 2 glasses of champagne away from going Tom Cruise kinda crazy."
So true, poster Maggie!
And David, you make this show worth watching, babe. Seriously you do. It is at the top of my list of guilty pleasures. But the list is growing. Pretty soon I wont have any pleasures but the guilty ones. Does that make ME trailer trash??

[Carlos]

I completely concur with your Simon comment. When they did the close-up on his freckled, hairy nipple, I was about ready to pull my face off to distract myself from the pain! lol. I'm sure the FCC is rewriting some laws to keep that off the air.

Great drawings, but where's Jill?

[Brooke]

What is the scoop on the new horse riding housewife's arrest for assault???? Do you know Gilmore???and if you d tell us!!!

[SusieQ]

Wow! I love your drawings and blogs! So right on!! I can't get Ramona's wild wide eyed stares out of my head.....Steroids anyone??? That magazine showing her as an oiled, fake bake or tan in a can "body builder" with bulging muscles has me wondering .....???
Mild mannered Mario really picked his opposite in raving Ramona... I pity her daughter Avery with that self absorbed vitch as a momma.
Speaking of self absorbed, the new Kelly, aging model, and lousey equestrian, just had to squeeze in that she was the youngest member of the NYC. Junior League. Who Cares?

[StarKitten]

I'm dying to be the next housewife just so I can see your pictures of me! :)

[Zen]

Right on Bravo! These airheads provide comic relief during the recession. I just hope that those who are frustrated with the AIG bonuses do not turn on these nitwits. We need these full of themselves dodos to entertain us. Great drawings.

[Alyssa]

HaHa You called it! LuAnn unraveled and is getting a divorce! Oh the irony.

[PJ]

Ok, I'm dying to see these scary feet belonging to Alex. Apparently I missed that episode and now I feel totally left out. lol

I completely agree with you regarding Alex's bad teeth, and I've wondered why on earth she wouldn't spend some of that money she throws on all of those designer clothes on her own teeth, for crying out loud! Same for Ramona, her teeth appear a little crowded in front as well. What gives?