Pretty On The Outside

Bonnie Hunt channels Kim Zolciak

A special thanks goes out to my reader Jean for sharing this hilarious spoof from the Bonnie Hunt Show. In that clip,  Bonnie does a spot on impression of Kim from The Real Housewives of Atlanta auditioning for American Idol.  That video is, unfortunately, just a teaser.  Click here to see the video in it's entirety.  Ha ha ha ha ha.... she actually sounds better than Kim. 
Thanks Jean!

Pretty End Of The Week Links

Amy Winehouse robbed!  Is there a reward for the hive?  La Rag Mag

The top five 80's teen male heartthrobs.  Do you agree?  Pajiba

Memory lane.  A fun remix of Madonna's Erotica.  Celebrity Smack

Dakota Fanning leads by example. Dlisted

Olympic swimmer Mark Foster does Beckham well.  HDJ



These new Abercrombie photos do not disappoint.  Follow the link for some slightly NSFW heaven!  Oh La La Mag

When iconic street artist Shepard Fairey speaks.... I definitely listen. Towleroad

The Real Housewives of Orange County. Vicki's boobs want to come out and play.

Hello again.  I unexpectedly took a big chunk of time off this week as Monday night I got smacked with a  nasty case of food poisoning and am just now pulling myself together.  I will share that evening's highlights in revolting detail at the end of this posting.  You're welcome in advance. 
So Tuesday night I laid in bed with a cold rag on my forehead reeling from an evening and morning of my body violently turning against me and watched The Real Housewives of Orange County.  The things that stood out from that episode were: what disrespectful brats Jeana's sons are, that Lynne's 18 y.o daughter Raquel loves to drink cocktails, sleep in, go to the spa, and present herself like a 40 year housewife during her confessional scenes, and that Vicki's boobs wanted to come out to play.  WOO-HOO!
Jeana climbed aboard Vicki's WOO-HOO express which was bound for her hometown Chicago.  The trip seemed mostly about Vicki's desire to show Jeana just how loved she is there.  Vicki pressured her friends into telling her that she'd easily fit back into Chicago again if she so chooses to relocate one day.  Vicki almost bit one of her friend's head off when she didn't quickly respond that of course she'd fit perfectly back into Chi Town.  I thought it funny that Vicki's two female friends must have borrowed her clothes and used her hairstylist.  Those friends were pressed into the OC signature overly-bejeweled shirts with big, tousled, gated community hair.  You'd swear it was another meeting of Coto's Le Tip or Just Le Tip there in Vicki's friend's house in Chicago.

Vicki, Jeana, and Vicki's girl friends went out for dinner and cocktails.  Off at the bar were Vicki's friend's husbands.  I thought and hoped that mama dogs Jeana and Vicki were going to come to blows over there disagreement of their kid's sex lives.  The conversation started to heat up and I thought a beat down was close.  Fight, fight, fight!!!!  But no such luck.  They changed topics.  At one point, a cocktailed up Vicki made a something of a move on one of her friend's husbands by trying to sit in his lap, covering him in kisses, and pawing at his face.  That's when Vicki, draped over his friend's hubbie, uttered the best phrase yet--- "My boobs want to come out and play!"  Oh...... ladies of Chicago, you best lock up your husbands.  Vicki's on the loose!  WOO-HOO!!!
A glowering Jeana shook her head in disapproval and I hoped for a smack down.  But no such luck.

The Real Housewives of Orange County. Heavenly scented?

This week on the The Real Housewives, high priestess of the woo hoo Vicki Gunvalson received an award for being President of Coto De Caza's branch of the social networking group "Just The Tip."  Or was that "Tickle My Tip?"  Vicki, in a kicky summer backless top, made her acceptance speach which went something like this:
"Woo hoo!!!  Woo HOO..... I'm a strong business woman!! Woo hoo!! WOO hoo.... woo HOO !! Thank you Just The Tip!! Don, fill up my love tank!  WOO HOO!!!!"  With award in hand, she turned and went down on it.  I mean she fell down.  Like dead weight as her husband Don described.  Sure seeing someone fall is funny, but it terms of humorous accidents--- it really paled in comparison to the wet nerf football that was chucked at her head in Havasu.  I know it's rotten to say, but that sh*t was funny as hell.

Pretty mid week Links

If that's a real ad---  I'm totally buying that fabric softener.  Oh La La Mag

Bring on Arrested Development the movie! Pajiba

Which actor humbly claims to be good in bed?  La Rag Mag

No Doubt announces 2009 turn.  PITNB



Wigged wonder Kim Zolciak and Joe Francis are dating.  All together now....EWWWWWW!!!!!!!  Dlisted

More from my 10 year old nephew and his mannequin Martinique.

Thanks to my Real Housewives of Orange County recaps being posted in several chat room forums and linked on a number of blogs--- I suddenly have a lot of new readers.  Welcome new readers.  Now that you're here, I hope you'll never leave.  One of my favorite topics to write about would be my 10 year nephew and his mannequin Martinique.  Please click here to read all those previous postings.  My nephew is such a great little guy full of talent and potential.  He's a glitter covered flower blooming in a garden of fabulousness.  You'll see what I mean if you click on that above link.
All the photos I've posted of him have been taken with either his dad or mom's Iphone and sent by my nephew.  He titles every email as well.  Anyone who owns an Iphone as I do knows that it can take awhile for a photo to open.  I'll hear an alert that an email has come in, get a rush of anticipation when I see it's from him, and smile when I read whatever he's titled that photo.  Those brief seconds it takes for the picture to open seems to take an eternity.  The photos, however, are ALWAYS worth the wait.  Get ready for the latest one.....
A couple nights ago I heard that telltale alert from my Iphone and eagerly opened the latest creation my nephew had come up with.  It was titled At Home After A Long Hike, and a version of the below image opened moments later.

I had a little photoshop fun with the background coloring but that outfit and wig are all his doing.  Thanks to my friend Amy for that black wig.  He's also a big fan of anime so in order to keep his privacy intact--- a little google search produced that cartoon face which I placed over his.  Again, this was titled At Home After A Long Hike.  I emailed my nephew back saying everyone should aspire to look that good after a hike.  I also told him that I think he's tapped into an untouched market.  I've been to a countless number of department stores and flipped through plenty of catalogs and I've never seen a post-hike collection.  He's onto something.

My nephew wasn't the only one having some dress up fun.  About a week ago I received a photo of Martinique in a red, white, and blue outfit.  I had some photo shop fun with that image as well.  Here's miss M in all her patriot glory, which seems fitting on this historic and wonderful inaugration day.

The Real Housewives of Orange County. The Shocker!

I've taken a mini break from visiting celebrity gossip blogs so that image above may have already been plastered on every site.  It was new to me when my reader who prefers to remain nameless sent that screen cap from the last episode of the Real Housewives of OC along with the name of the hand gesture Ryan is "throwing up."  And you may just throw up when you read its meaning.  Or you might be turned on, inspired, and look at it as a homework assignment?  It's called The Shocker and clearly it's an appropriate hand signal for an elegant dinner party.  Want to know what that means?  If you're eating or drinking anything, you will probably want to go ahead and swallow before you read on.......

The Real Housewives of Orange County. Naked Wasted!

Say what you will about Tamra the hottest housewife in Orange County, but she single-handedly is making this season of The Real Housewives entertaining.  And I approve and say thank you to her.  Tamra began the show learning dinner party etiquette: the proper way to sit, which fork to use and when, how to cut your meat, and how to get a bitch wasted.  Naked wasted.  She took that etiquette class in order to learn the art of throwing a proper "classy" dinner party.  Once the party started it became clear that her bigger goal was to get Gretchen wasted and bring out her dark side.  Her dark roots?  No.  Her dark eye liner?  No, no.  Tamra used tequila to bait Gretchen's inner skanky beast out of its dark cave.  Yes!  I'll come back to the party at the end of this posting.  In the meanwhile, here's Tamra during her class.  I believe she made that face after the instructor told not to saw her meat.  :)

 

I, of course, need to get to my Vicki who went to visit her family.  My memory is a little fuzzy of what was happening when the whole family was hanging out in their back yard.  Perhaps I was refilling my wine glass?  I do remember there was a large pile of branches that a couple guys were trying to light on fire.  I must say, I grew up out in the woods and I can't begin to emphasize the entertainment value of burning some sh*t when there's nothing else to do.  My mom still calls to tell me about her burn pile and finally getting those darn branches from the side yard burnt.  But I digress.....  My question is if you have a yelping, shrieking Vicki in your background who is desperately trying to be the center of attention--- why would you need to do anything but sit and look at her?  That's entertainment at its finest.  There was a lot of her signature woo-hooing and ear drum shattering screaming.  She tried endlessly to get her mom to compliment her and the mom never did.  Vicki said I love you to her mom and her mom replied thank you.  Ahhhhh..... that mom is cute.  Below is Vicki being Vicki.

Pretty midweek Links

Real Housewives of Atlanta rumors!  DeYawn may be out.  Who could be taking her place?  Dlisted

Shepard Fairey's new inaugural art.  Obey

Fergie and hotter than hell Josh Duhamel's wedding photos.  Please let there be some honeymoon photos of just him.  PITNB

Stan Lee's first gay superhero.  La Rag Mag



They can deny it all they want, but I'd like to believe Chace and Ed are a couple.  :)  Oh La La Mag

The Real Housewives of Orange County. And They're Off..... and a little out of their minds.

Wow is this coming late.  Really, really late.  The life of a free-lance artist means sometimes I'm busy and sometimes not so much.  Fortunately I've been a busy bee which meant the OC lovelies had to wait a bit.  Sorry OC lovelies.... duty calls.  So I finally got a chance to plop down in front of my TIVO'd programs and have a look.

As a warm up, I watched the plastic surgery drama Nip/Tuck first. That's a great show which finally started airing again last week.  That particular episode featured someone literally getting stabbed in the back which seemed fitting going into last week's Real Housewives.  The OC women chose to use gossip as their weaponry.  An insult here and a not too subtle jab about weight there....... being told "to get a life"  here and "should I feel sorry for her, or should I hand her an Oscar" there.  Both were zingers hurled by Tamra at the overly processed Gretchen.
That last comment was mentioned by Tamra when she and Orange County Royalty Lauri had a sunny sea-side ladies luncheon.  Tamra was bringing Lauri up to speed on all the gossip.  Lauri listened, nodded, and tried to smile but her upper lip, in particular the left side of it, seemed immobile and to have doubled in size.

 

Is a huge upper lip youthful looking?  Curious.  Tamra made a number of points about Gretchen which I agree with.  And tonight's episode seems like it should be really good.  From the commercial, if looks like Gretchen 30, who is at the time of airing in a relationship with Jeff 53 may be making some moves on Tamra's son Ryan who is only 21 or 22.  Juicy!  I think Ryan may be getting laser removal of his nugget lip tattoo and replacing it with this......

For the record, that's not Ryan or me.  I googled lip tattoo and found that photo.