It's Endora, Miss Cameltoe if you're nasty!
My BFF and I have been friends for a really, really, really long time. Each of those reallies represents a decade. Sigh. About 15 years ago we came up with some alter egos, kinda like we're superheroes. My BFF's superhero/ superskank identity is a foul mouthed, boozy, overly opinionated, mean spirited, man eating hellcat named Endora Cameltoe. Actually my BFF is like that all the time, it's just taken up a notch when he's being Endora.
I didn't want to keep Endora all to myself so I decided that she should have her own weekly column titled Cameltoe Corner. It's not so much an advice column as it is the lunatic ramblings of a fictional dumb ass. Everything in italics is my friend's own words.
Introducing....................................................................
Me: Hi Endora. I recently posted a video clip of hot headed Bill O'Reilly loosing it when he didn't understand the expression "to play us out." What's your reaction?
Endora: I am offended and highly turned on by your posting of that "classic" Bill O'Reilly footage. I think you've exploited this wonderful man for "humor" on your "blog", and I don't like it! Bill and I had a tumultuous affair for several hours back in '91 during the height of one of my worst herpes breakouts--or as I like to say "blooms". I typically black out from them, but this time, I stayed conscious. He was caring, tender and only hit me when I needed it, or if I got fat. I would ask that you put yourself in his size 4 1/2 shoes and try to understand the pressure he's under and all of those that want to take him down--liberals, smart people, pimps, hippies, Carnie Wilson, Prius drivers, etc. On top of that, I think I may have given him a herpe. My hair smells like chocolate and WD40. I'm getting kind of sleepy.
Me: Just try and stay focused Endora. Recently some controversial photos of a cellulite covered Mischa Barton surfaced sparking all kinds of uproar...... Are the photos real? It is photoshop? Why should we focus on those type of things? Well, I've uncovered a recent photo of Miss Barton on the red carpet and I think it speaks for itself.
And never late to embrace a hot trend, TomKat decided to sport the nouveau chic look and feature some cellulite of their own.
This all brings me to the question Endora, do YOU think these photos are real?
Endora: No, because those are my legs in those pictures which were used without my permission. I had seal blubber injected into the back of my thighs. My Inuit stylist suggested it. I fired her. Luckily my body didn't accept the blubber and I sh*t it up.
Me: Gross. Will you be suing the photographer/ photoshopper?
Endora: No. I don't have time because I'm working on a number of projects: a pilot, a duet with David Archuleta, reversing the restraining Paula Abdul took out against me, and I'm developing a knee cream line that addresses rug burns.
Me: Thank you for sitting down with me today Endora. Hope next time you will consider a breath mint or two and perhaps wearing underwear beneath your micro mini.
The end.
And there you have it. Stay tuned for more..............
Even if she REALLY looked like that, I'd still love her! Those pics are ridiculous!
Posted by:meeshhead | May 14, 2008 at 03:19 PM
LOVE LOVE LOVE the snark. I needed a laugh like that after the loooooooooong day I had. This new addition is probably my favorite right after the "indulge me" stuff! Keep it coming!
Posted by:Dani | May 14, 2008 at 03:25 PM
Hey Meeshhead,
I agree, my pics are ridiculous. That's the point. It's meant as a spoof. :)
Hey Dani,
Thanks! These kinds of postings along with The Please Indulge are definitely my favorite. I appreciate the encouragement.
xoxo
Gilmore
Posted by:Gilmore | May 14, 2008 at 05:13 PM
ahh..nothing like a good scroll-down to see an exposed ass. i wasn't expecting it and them BAM! Ass! good stuff!
looking forward to seeing more endora as well. i had superhero alter egos with a friend of mine too a long time ago. of course, we weren't really that funny. i hadn't thought of that in a long time. :)
Posted by:laurie | May 14, 2008 at 11:43 PM
LMAO... oh, God... why is everyone in my office looking at me like I'm psycho? Oh, I know why, cause they haven't seen this hilarious post.
I look forward to some more Endora in hopefully the near future.
She's kind of like the Loquecia of POTO..If you've ever heard 106.7 KROQ in Los Angeles.
Posted by:Maira | May 15, 2008 at 12:10 PM
From one photoshop whore to another, I love the ass you sell!
Posted by:midevil | May 15, 2008 at 02:16 PM
Thankyou darlink for the Endora (TomKat pic just too funny!!). You just knows how much i lurves the PRETTY AT A DISTANCE GALS, coz i've already told you. It's been so long that i've forgotten the other's names.... Bobbi was another, yes? More, please, more, more, more. I tried to get hold of PAAD recently but i don't think that is up anymore? Please bring it back. Love your work, Gilmore, even when i don't comment, cat wedding and two-tone gym dude, i see it all! Thanks for the larffs coz GOK often i really, really need them!!
Love and best as ever -- Miss Mezza from South Australia XXX
Posted by:Miss Mezza | May 16, 2008 at 06:14 AM
when i first saw the mischa pic i didn't see anything wrong w/ it ;)..... love it.....hahahhaha
Posted by:deena | May 16, 2008 at 06:38 AM
Aww man that that shit is FUNNY!!!
Posted by:Kee | May 16, 2008 at 09:12 AM
Ahhh! I'm blind! These celebrities are in serious need of Zantrex!!!!
Posted by:sasha | May 16, 2008 at 10:35 AM
I would love to see the same picture on rachel bilson, since she likes the publicity so much.
Posted by:sharon | May 17, 2008 at 02:00 AM
OMG!! that's totally funny!!
u know who u should put?!!
LINDSAY LOHAN!! aaaaaaaaa
i would lmao!!!! ALL DAY!!!
Posted by:Nouf Al. | May 17, 2008 at 08:48 AM
WOW !! Thats hilarious !!
Posted by:dj | May 20, 2008 at 10:14 AM
Need to put this tight cellulite on Mischa Barton. Oh wait, that's already happened!
But this photo is really too much! I mean, 4 asses in a single photo?
Posted by:NewsToob | May 20, 2008 at 03:14 PM