American Idol's assault on our senses.

Today was a bit crazy.  I went to an afternoon wedding and ended up having five glasses of champagne.  Oops.  It's strange being so heavily buzzed at 2pm but hey, I thought it would be rude to say no when the hostess kept filling my glass.  I do have manners.  I then tried to counteract all that champagne with a few cups of coffee and my body has been confused ever since.  Not sure if I should go to sleep or run around the block?  The solution?  Watch some horrible Reality TV!  Since it's Tuesday, that terrible TV choice was simple..... American Idol.
I am continuing my theory that American Idol is pure evil.  After David Archuleta sang whatever he sang, the camera zoomed into the audience and fixed on what I first thought was Mick Jagger's ex/ Studio 54 fixture Bianca Jagger.  I rubbed my eyes and looked again and to my horror discovered it was Paul Stanley from KISS.  I grabbed my camera and took this picture...........

What the hell was he doing there?  How did that glam god end up in the audience during Andrew Llyod Weber night?  It just seemed wrong.  That is yet another piece of evidence that AI is produced by the Devil.   (I'm making a list.)
The first KISS album, yes album, I saw was Dressed To Kill.  There was something inexplicably engaging about these four guys in full makeup and long hair.  They were living cartoon characters and I loved it.

 

When I was about nine, I'd sneak into my sister's makeup bag on the weekend and attempt my best KISS makeup.  Usually a black star over my right eye and red lipstick a la Paul Stanley.  I'll write more about that at another time as I'm already getting completely side tracked.
So after David Archuleta sang his song and there was that flash of Paul Stanley, I thought it only right that David should show support for Mr Stanley.  I applied a little photoshop makeup to Mr Archuleta.

I like David much better this way. 
Then, Carly Smithson did a bring the house down song from Godspell. (See the end of the posting)  I was completely distracted by the print on Carly's dress.

 

To me, it looked like an illustration of the female reproductive organs. 

OK, so I took some liberties with that dress.  I think my version is better than the original though.

My apologies for this posting.  It's after midnight and my body is out of wack from the earlier champagne.

Medium:  My Canon Power Shot SD500, my Sony TV, TIVO, digital color, and too much afternoon alcohol.

UPDATE:  I posted this originally at the end of a day that was dedicated to alcohol as a result of attending an afternoon wedding.  It's the simple truth.  So I'm surprised I was even able to throw this posting together.  Now, usually when American Idol is on I have the sound down low or I fast forward as I can barely stand it.  I've gotten a number of humorous and not so humorous emails informing me that the song Carly sang was from Jesus Christ Superstar and not Godspell as I wrote.  Oops.  Godspell was a musical I saw as a kid and my family had and often played that soundtrack.  So I somehow flipped Jesus and God musicals. Oopsy.  Once I do a posting, I leave it alone.  So my error will remain.  Look at it, read it over and over, and love it.
P.S. Thanks Brittany for saying I'm almost as inaccurate as TMZ.  That's a badge of honor.  :)

 

Comments

[Mme. Meow]

I'm also convinced that David Archuleta is devil spawn, actually, because he seems to sing the same song the same way every single week with that same little turd-smile face and yet everyone loves him.

This was hilarious.

[mp]

LOL..love the photoshop work.. PS (Jesus Christ Superstar not Godspell)

[midevil]

Heh heh. I don't watch the shows, but the dress is vunderful!

[MDgirl]

I must admit that I'm a die-hard American Idol viewer...But nonetheless, your interpretations and visions are genius and hilarious! Carly's dress is my favorite! I'm not sure how my boss is going to feel after she sees I spit coffee onto some paperwork because I was laughing so hard, but I think she'll understand after she reads what you posted. Thanks for another great morning laugh!

[gilmore]

Mme Meow, I agree. Each week whatever he sings sounds the same and the crowd eats it up.

Mp, thanks for the correction. I only partially pay attention to that show and mix that with all the booze I had and an after midnight posting.... well, I'm surprised I didn't have more errors. Thanks!

Hey Midevil, you're lucky you don't watch that mess. I'm powerless to resist its evil mind numbing power.

MDgirl, thank you! Please apologize to your boss for me. :)

[Leah]

AI is a hot boiling mess that makes me want to poke my eyes out, but your depictions make me giggle.

[t]

paul stanley starred as the phantom in "the phantom of the opera" in toronto for a while. might explain his presence there for andrew lloyd weber night. however mr. stanley has some "splainin'" to do as to why he looks like a disgruntled lady divorcee from boca raton florida.

[Brittany]

Um...Carly sang "Superstar" from Jesus Christ Superstar, not some song from Godspell. I don't think Andrew Lloyd Weber even did Godspell. You're almost as inaccurate as TMZ.