I've gotten so many requests to draw the new Bravo show The Millionaire Matchmaker but I wasn't quite sure if I could commit. I'd seen the commercials and honestly hadn't been bitten. Sure, I'll watch all kinds of reality TV, especially if it's on Bravo but a matchmaker show....... seemed uninspiring. I've Tivo'd all the episodes but just couldn't bring myself to watch. I know my BFF has seen the show so I asked his opinion about that matchmaker chick. He said, "she's a mean, dumb, unlikable c*nt." After hearing that, I couldn't get to a glass of red wine, a pen and some paper, and my Tivo remote fast enough. In that order of course.
This is Patty Stanger, The Millionaire matchmaker, and I'm happy to announce that my BFF's description of her is spot on. Patty says when a millionaire approaches her
escort service, that he has what she likes to call an "illness." Her escort service will diagnosis and develop a treatment for said "illness."
The treatments her
escort service includes are: date coaching, psychological evaluations, relationship counseling, image consulting, decorating advice, mass exposure for attention whores, ass bleaching, hammer toe removal, pillow biting interference, chronic halitosis correction, ball busting, and a lowering of expectations.
An example of her treatment in action is as follows:
A late forties millionaire wanted to get hooked up with a Cindy Crawford type from ten years ago. In other words, the 46+ year old wanted a twenty something hottie. Patty wasn't having any of this twenty year age difference business so she devised an ingenuous plan. She would hook the 46+ guy up with a young chick, only to have the girl flake out on him. That flaking out would certainly teach the millionaire a valuable life lesson. In her own words, he'd "reevaluate his immortality." The dude would see that he really should be with someone closer to his own age.
Wow, Patty's a f*cking genius. Patty's a wizard. Patty should go work for the UN. Hell, Patty for President! Patty, Patty, Patty!!!!!!!
There you have it. Not sure if I can take another episode of this show. Or can I? Hmmmmmmm..... my Tivo is full of back episodes. We'll see.
Each drawing took about fifteen minutes to complete with pen on paper. One HUGE glass of Cabernet certainly helped.
Also, I'd like to mention that my spelling is
atrociosh, atroshsish, really bad sober. But give me a glass of wine and my spelling is almost like another language. Thanks to all of you who write in with spelling corrections. :) Much appree-she-ated.