Project Britney

What if Project Runway allowed Britney Spears to be a contestant on this new season?  Imagine the possibilities. It seems like Brit could handle last night's challenge.  Right?  The contestants were given access to a variety of luxurious fabrics and instructed to create an outfit that best expresses who they are as a designer.  Britney's not technically a designer, but she does like some rather unusual outfits. Could she deliver an amazing look?

Britney's sensibilities would certainly draw her to the dazzling silk chiffon Starbucks print fabric as well as the sumptuous cotton-poly blend Cheetos material.  The other designers would work feverishly up until the very last minute of the challenge.  Brit's outfit would take about ten minutes to construct.
She'd cut half a yard of the Starbucks fabric, crudely safety pin it together, and tie two yards of the Cheetos material on as a train.  Simply, chic, timeless. 
Britney would also be very involved in the styling of the look.  She'd demand the Tres Semme hairstylist to cut off the model's hair and replace it with some greasy blond weave.  Brit would fun up the look with a pair of sunglasses at night, pimp hat, and some always fashionable Ugg boots.
Here's how the judging would go:

Nina Garcia fashion director of Elle magazine: Britney, tell us about your look.

Britney Spears fashion icon: Um.... I wanted to make somethin that's easy to get out of. Somethin I could totally party in. 

Michael Kors fashion designer:  Britney, how long did you spend on your outfit? 

Britney Spears bad driver: Um... I kinda spent a while on it.  But I stopped cause I wanted a fra.... frappa.... frappacc.... a coffee drink.  And then I got bored makin it, so I stopped again.  And then it was happy hour at some Mexican restaurant.  And I had a visit with my Kids so I waved hi to them as I went shopping.  What was the question?

Monique Lhuiller guest judge and fashion designer:  Britney, I'm sorry but this outfit is a disaster.  It's poorly constructed. (Britney pouts) There's no wow. (Britney scratches her weave and smells her fingers)  And worst of all Britney.....  your model isn't wearing any underwear.  (Britney smiles)

Britney Spears coffee drinker: Um... she's not wearing underwear cause that's my signature look.

Heidi Klum hottest MILF ever: Britney this outfit leaves nothing to the imagination and redefines bad taste.  We're sorry Britney.  You're out.  You must leave the runway.  Auf Wiedersehen.

Britney Spears poet:  Eat it, lick it, snort it, fuck it!

My blog buddy 14 at Gallery Of The Absurd imagined what it have looked like if P Diddy had been a contestant as well.  :) 

Comments

[Jenn F.]

Oh my god, the section written under Monique Lhuiller is absolutely hilarious.

[Brightchick]

This one is LOL funny--and I'm at work! Great job!!

[Tess]

Perfect use of that "eat it, lick it, snort it, fuck it" quote. That was just hilarious.

Love the cheeto train and the Uggs.

[HoneyB]

"fra.... frappa.... frappacc.... a coffee drink." SO stinkin' funny! You are bri ... bril ... brilli ... really smart!
Xo

[danni]

hahaha you are my hero

[Holls]

That was awesome! I did the voices out loud, by myself. If I had friends I'd act it out with them.

[kristi]

that's awfully good, congrats!

[Britney Spears Fan]

That's a very funny cartoon, and probably fairly accurate to what would actually happen in this situation.