Pretty On The Outside

Habite

A good friend just directed me towards the facebook page for a store in Los Angeles which he's affiliated.  Habite sells furniture, lighting and architectural elements from the 16th century up to 1980's.  Gorgeous pieces galore!  If you're a fan of exquisite design then by all means have a look at Habite's facebook page and I'm sure you'll like it too.  And by like it, I mean feel free to click on the thumbs up like box.  C'est si bon!

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills..... Bring the botox, bring the bullsh*t, just bring it!

The A-List: New York

This could potentially be the most fabulous train wreck ever seen on TV and I can not wait.  Here's the info:

Logo’s highly-anticipated new docu-reality series will give viewers a V.I.P. pass into the fabulous – and ferocious – lives of New York’s gay elite.  Follow the most envied and sought-after men of New York City as they live the high life hopping from boardroom to benefit to beach house to bedroom.  Watch the drama unfold as they attempt to “have it all” juggling their careers, families, friends and perhaps most importantly, enemies.  The nine-episode, one hour series is executive produced by True Entertainment, an Endemol Company.  “The A-List: New York” premieres Monday, October 4th at 10/9c on Logo.

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The Real Housewives of NJ. Buckle up!

I consulted with Danielle's energist Sarai before starting this posting so I feel completely centered and focused right now.  Love and light motherf**kers!  Actually to use the proper energist term, she "scanned" me in order to help keep me balanced so that I can lead with love and at all costs to drive my message home in a very dignified way.  Thank you very much.  I also have an armed bodyguard standing over my laptop in case one of the Manzos tries to cyber-attack me.  You know how those Manzos are.  Danny and that sweaty, pitbull-faced, gum-chewing pal of his are waiting in a limo outside should I need someone to have my back.  And I know it's a stretch but...... I have a few extra clip-on extensions handy should Ashley rip out a handful of my weave before I finish this.  I follow her twitter and I know she's coming for me.  I also heavily consulted a bottle of yummy cabernet before starting this posting so to quote Caroline Manzo--- "Buckle up!"

The Borgata Hotel, Casino, Spa, Tanning Salon, Waste Management Facility, and Insane Asylum was the site of this two part travisty.  The gals minus Dina all came together under one roof for the first time in a year and it took just a few seconds for Teresa to come out swinging.  Teresa's mouth was set on machine gun mode as: bitch, whore, disgusting, skank, and other similar slurs rapidly fired outta her mouth with Danielle being the target.  I didn't quite get why Teresa had that f**king bonkers response to Danielle asking if she'd seen (?) talked to (?) acknowledged (?) her nephew but god did Teresa freak.  I thought she was going to turn green like the hulk or that her hairline would lower all the way to the floor and look like Cousin It.  Without a table nearby to flip over she lunged at Danielle with foam in her mouth screaming, "DO NOT BRING UP MY FAMILY!!!!!!"  What an animal.  Andy Cohen attempted calming Teresa but she pushed him down and continued her rant by beating her fake bubbies and throwing pillows and her own feces at the fleeing Danielle. 

I've obtained a secret photo of Teresa and that nephew and here it is....

Ok, ok, that's really just Teresa and Joe.  I think he looks kinda cute with one of those omnipresent therapeutic head wraps.  :)

Body painting. Steve.

Hello again!  I was away working on a project and forgot to hang a be back soon sign.  Soooooooo I am back now and I probably should be doing a NJ posting but I'd way rather show my latest body painting session.  I will do a NJ something or other after tonight's reunion show dogfight and by dog(s) I mean Danielle and Teresa.  Enough of that mess......  Let me burn some sage and cleanse this space. 

For this session, I wanted to make my model Steve look like he was a figure study painting/ drawing.  I was hugely inspired by the work of my friend Winston Torr.  If you're interested in spectacular artwork then do yourself a huge favor and click on this link to see his figurative work.  I created a 6' x 14' backdrop completed with tons of aggressive brush strokes.  Next I covered my model head to toe with two coats of white MAC Chromacake body paint- set it, and then went about placing all kinds of black painted marks on him.  Some crosshatched lines, some thick brush strokes, some crisp, some messy all to further the illusion that these are flat images. 

Here we go.....

The True Blood Rolling Stone cover that should have been.

I will definitely say that the Rolling Stone cover featuring the undressed True Blood crew: Eric, Sookie, and Bill is quite hot.......

however, I do think it could be improved. Here's a teaser....

Body painting. A couple very lovely ladies.

Here's some more body painting show and tell with two great gals.  Both wonderful, charming, and warm and it was my treat to work with and paint on them.  The first is a friend and as she has a serious corporate job I'll skip mentioning her name and unfortunately I can't show her beautiful face either.  Oh well.  I painted a large face on her back and covered her arms, lower back and hips with some a vividly colored brush strokes.  I wasn't trying to make her necessary look like a flat painting--- just wanted to make some pretty photos.  Here she goes....

And another.

Next is a little ball of sunshine I recently met named Sashoy.  For her I was going for the painted portrait look where I wanted her to appear truly as though the entire image is a flat painting.  I made some flowers and a top out of paper to further the illusion.  There's some in progress photos after the jump so you can see all this more clearly.  I was going for a Billy Holiday-ish vibe with Sashoy.

My guy made a microphone out of the most wild array of objects: a paper towel tube, a vitamin bottle, tape, mesh, wire, and some other stuff.  Here's goes.

More in the second half of the posting.

The Real Housewives of NJ. The village idiots have returned!

Italy produces and exports some of the finest goods in the world: beautiful wine, fantastic olive oil, exquisitely crafted accessories, luxury vehicles...... and then there's Teresa and Joe Guidice.  Proof positive that not everything created in Italy is desirable.  That's Teresa and Joe in Sala Consilina, Italy--- their hometown village.

True Blood. Yes! Oh yes..........

This a quickie for those of you who didn't get enough of the scene with Eric and Talbot.

In the second half of this posting you can see a very NSFW gif which is gift from God.  Be warned..... there's some nekkidness.  Not enough in my opinion but hey, I'm not complaining. 

Body Painting. Marcelino and Roberto.

I had the pleasure and privilege of body painting and photographing two incredible models on the same day recently.  One of the models, Marcelino, I've painted and photographed twice previously and the other model, Roberto, was someone new.  It was simply an inspiring day and the eight hours it took to apply the makeup flew by. Here goes the process........

Marcelino is a body painting veteran at this point so I began with him.  I painted him from the waist up initially using mostly MAC Chromacakes along with several other brands.  I set the makeup and then it was Roberto's turn.

 

I painted them in a similar manner--- vivid colors and lots of aggressive brush strokes.  The more colorful the better was my approach.

 

That's Marcelino on the left inspecting my progress.  When Roberto's upper body was finished, Marcelino slipped into some painted trunks and I finished the makeup application on his legs.  I repeated the process with Roberto.  After 8 hours of makeup we were ready for the photos so unto the 9' wide by 18' long backdrop I'd painted we went. 

I wanted the nature of their relationship left up to the viewer to determine.  Are they friends?  Are they brothers?  Are they partners?  Is it one person's inner conflict?  Judge for yourselves.  Hope you'll enjoy the photos.

The Real Housewives of DC. BFD or OMG? Or both?

It's with mixed emotions (and some scotch) that I just created a new category for these DC gals.  Are we ready for a new batch of housewives?  I'll say yes.  Are we ready for this particular batch?  Not sure yet.  I've personally already flushed those Jersey housewives and am eager to move on but the premier of The Real Housewives of DC left me feeling a bit limp.  Of course I'll watch every episode and have hopes that these women will come through.  Don't you?  I'll mention my partner poured me the largest glass of scotch ever about 20 minutes ago and it's nearly half gone..... which means hello typos!  Anyway this is going to be short as I didn't take any notes during the show and have forgotten most of it, however I did a couple drawings to help.  So out of the women we were introduced to, I have two that I'm favoring and for completely different reasons. 

Meet Michaele.

 

She's a thin-lipped fried blond wig on a broom stick with the energy of a hummingbird soaked in Redbull.  She's also an aggressive fame monger which means my local art store will have a booming business as I buy up pads of paper and pens.  Here's the photo I snapped of her with my phone to use as a reference.

 

Hello gorgeous!  Hello my DC muse!  She's steeped in all kinds of controversy but what's holding my interest is her cascading broom-bristle blond mane.  It seems in terms of fashion that the 80's are back so I say she's ready for a V05 hot oil hair treatment commercial.  Or a Jhirmack deep conditioning rinse.  All things I used in the 80s...........  As far as I'm concerned, she can crash as many political parties as she wants---- as long as that hair looks like it's growing an inch above a horse's ass and she maintains her hugging tornado approach, I'm in.  She's the Ramona of this show.  She's also the Alexis Bellino aka Jesus Barbie (minus the huge tits) in terms of she and her husband love flaunting their privileged (?) lifestyle.  I look forward to drawing you more Michaele.

Meet Lynda.

 

And the reference photo I used for the drawing also snapped with my phone.

I actually like Lynda from what I saw and feel a bit of a connection.  We both are in relationships with younger men of color.  Seems like she has a nice family, runs her own business, and has a handsome younger man to keep her company.  I'll say it--- you go Lynda with a y.  She looks a bit like Kate Jackson from Charlie's Angels mixed with Posh Beckham.  Lynda, I approve your message. 

The rest of the gals seemed fine.  The British one has no sense of dinner party etiquette which I love and the other two seemed pretty normal so I'm cautious about how this season will play out.  I do like that these women in general appear to well educated which is a huge departure from Joe and Teresa Guidice.  Speaking of Jersey.......  Barf.  That show ran over it's limit about four episodes ago.  That's just my opinion though.  In a nutshell, imagine being trapped on a hideously tacky cruise ship with the four screaming spawn of Joe and Teresa.  Sounds awful, right?  Sounds like you'd want to jump over the side and swim for land.  Right?  That's how I felt watching last night's show.  I'm sorry but I'm done with the NJ gals.  Unless the Kims jelly wrestle........  Please Bravo, have the Kims wrestle in jello or VO5 hot oil.  I'm sure they would.

Both drawings are done with archival ink on 9" x 12" paper and are for sale.  If interested, email me and I can upload them to my etsy shop or you can buy them directly from me.  Thanks!

Body Painting. Chris.

I had the good fortune of working with a model named Chris about two weeks ago.  I saw in his modeling portfolio that he was very muscular so I wanted to emphasize that aspect with one of the two backdrops I created.  The first backdrop had a cubist meets Tamara De Lempicka feel--- completed with lots of short brush strokes building mass, which is how I painted on Chris.  The 40" x 60" backdrop painting was created using acrylics whereas Chris was painted with mostly MAC chromacake body paint.  Here he is in progress....

And the final results......

The other backdrop I used was a nonspecific, atmospheric painting with lots of aggressive brushstrokes.  Hopefully the model and backdrop meld into one flat image.

 

And another......

Rachel Zoe is literally bananas. Literally.

In honor of tonight's return of the Rachel Zoe show on Bravo, I've created this bananas illustration of the styling whirlwind wearing, well.... a banana.  

Is she having a moment in this?  Does it make you want to die?  Does it makes you hungry?  This gown may be one of a kind but you can own a print of this.  At least 15 of you can as that's how many are signed, numbered, and available on my etsy shop.

I am quite fond of her show and happy it's returning.  I've missed that eternally blushing Brad too.  Welcome back!

Previous show recaps can be seen here.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey. It's sadly all about Kim G.

I know I missed posting about last week's show.  Oopsy!  I needed a break from the gals but I'm back on it this week.  Tonight's episode ended just a couple hours ago and here I am with a fresh illustration and mini recap.  Woo hoo!  Actually this isn't going to be a recap so much as an assessment of bad behavior.  Which is the best kind for my purposes.  To me, what's jumping out the most this season is who's vying for the position of the biggest drama queen/ lunatic of all.  The race to be The Queen drama queen.  The reigning champion Danielle is doing her frozen-faced best to conjure crap at every turn and it's getting a little old.  Every one of her confessional scenes is so dire and grim and intense and overly done. Teresa attempts to be leave her mark by having epic fits: "prostitution whore", "Is bitch better?"........ but she ultimately is too dim to be a drama queen.  The introduction of Kim D and her exhaust pipe sucking mouth has been entertaining.  She has the voice of someone whose smoked 4 packs of cigs a day since birth and the mouth of someone who practiced fellatio on a plugged-in curling iron since birth.  If Bravo showed her more I think she'd be tied with Danielle for the mantle of turbo attention whore.  But the winner, to me, in the contest of who's the worst drama queen this season goes to the elderly Kim G.  Kim G has blazed a trail of duplicity, odd outfits, back stabbing, and on tonight's episode- after her fight with Danielle at the restaurant- has emerged victorious as the most attention starved nutbag of all.  Congrats Kim G! 

Prior to her encounter with Danielle at that restaurant, a foul-mouthed Kim G needed to vent to the enormous breasted Jacqueline.  Holding her newborn, Jacqueline allowed Kim G into her home as she unleashed a flurry of f words.  Jacqueline's baby's first word just might be "fuck" as the child certainly heard Kim G say it countless times.  Kim was having a revelation about Danielle and said as she gestured to herself, "Stupid over here."  It was too perfect so I rewound and watched..... "Stupid over here", with a self point.  I hit pause, and did the following drawing which I then punched up with some digital color.

I've heard Danielle say repeatedly that Kim G is a highly respected member of the community and after watching her freak out shout-fest, I'm wondering if her community is all prisoner stock.  I don't know...... it's just weird.  It's all really weird but that's why I watch.

Off to bed....... until next week you wacky NJ housewives.

Past New Jersey entries can be seen here.

True Blood. My ode to Joe Manganiello.

I love HBO's True Blood.  In my humble opinion it is the best hour on television and last night's episode did not disappoint.  If you watched it, you know what I'm talking about.  I had spent 10 hours yesterday body painting and photographing two models which I'll have those photos posted soon and it was a blast--- exhausting--- but definitely a great experience.  So after that long day it was my pleasure to pour a giant glass of Cabernet, plop down into my comfy TV-viewing seat, and enjoy the True Blood ride.  Holy shit was it ever good: the Sookie drama, the mystery about what she is (please no one reveal her secret), the dream/ fantasy she had about being with what I assume are her kind, Bill and his new ability, the Vampire King of Mississippi attack on the majestor, and on and on and on......... Oh was it good!  It was so good, so strong in fact that I forgive the show for only having werewolf superhero superstud Alcide played by Joe Manganiello in only one scene.  And in that one scene he was fully dressed.  Damn you True Blood!  I take that back...... I just get heated when talking about Joe, Alcide, Joe, Alcide, my imaginary werewolf boyfriend.  He's given so much that I felt like giving back to him.  So, I drew this portrait.

It's drawn with ink, pen, and watercolor pencil on hot pressed watercolor paper and is for sale on my etsy site.  That nose, those eyes, that beard, and that body, it's enough to make you howl your TV. 

Thanks True Blood..... until next Sunday.

True Blood! Oh my god, oh my god, OH MY GOD!!! Oh my Joe Manganiello!

Have I blogged any of you into watching True Blood yet?  If you're a TB virgin, I'd recommend netflix-ing the previous two seasons as jumping in at this point would probably be a tad bit confusing.  Or you could just do what I do and pour yourself a strong drink, unzip your pants, and enjoy the bounty of eye candy that this show delivers.  And good lord does it ever deliver.  I'd offer a recap but as I said in the last posting, I'm pretty confused myself as to what's going on.....  My heart was racing a mile a minute during the show with all the revelations, twists, and turns and I kept hitting pause on my TIVO remote in order to see how much time was left.  I was so worked up that I shout-asked my partner a number of times, "What the hell is going?!?!!!"  And it felt like I had an irregular heartbeat during some of the scenes: when the Vampire was questioning Sookie about what she was, when that King ordered the death of Bill at the hands of his maker Lorraina, when Eric threatened to rip the head off the vampire Queen, when Tara attacked the vampire who wants to turn her, when, when, when....... My heart is pounding again!!!!  With moments to spare, I was just about to ask where the f**k was Alcide,  and then he appeared..... NUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It was like a grand finale moment on American Idol--- I expected to see confetti and an all black choir emerge.  Here he is...... Joe Manganiello the 6'5" tower of perfection himself.

Take it in...... take it in.  There was only the briefest of an ass shot but thanks to slow motion on my TIVO and thanks to the screen caps from a great nudity filled site called Superhero Fan, it's possible to bask in the glory.  One amazing ass shot after the jump.

Body painting. Marcelino.

I am on a body painting spree of late so get used to seeing lots more of that work here.  Lots more.  Sure I have fun drawing and recapping the attention-starved antics of those Real Housewives but this body painting work is the yin to that crazy yang.  That dang yang which I love too.  Anyway, I painted on my friend Marcelino for the second time this past Thursday.  That previous session I did the body painted portrait look on him which you can see more examples of here.  The following is my favorite from that shoot.

 

For this go-round I did the other look which is a graphic-illustrational-carnivale vibe.  Woo woo!!

I painted a 40" x 60" canvas which I used as a backdrop.  I'm a huge fan of well done graffiti and have seen some stunning work in New Orleans, Mexico City, and NYC.  I hopefully channeled that feel in this scrolling, dripping, doodle-y, colorful painting.

Here are some photos of me painting Marcelino.  I used mostly MAC Chromacake along with Wolfe, Kryolan, and Mehron body paints.

Lindsay Lohan begins her jail sentence......

I was watching the news this morning which was interrupted by the story that Lindsay Lohan had begun her 90 day jail sentence.  In honor or more appropriately in dishonor of that event, I'm reposting this illustration I did of her back in June 27, 2007.  Vintage!  Yet sadly still relevant.

All my Lindsay postings can be seen here.  My favorite Lindsay illustrations however are posted after the jump.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey. The Gloves are coming off.......

..... and the stupid is in full force.  Look at me!  I'm posting the same day as the show.  Woo woo!!!  To be honest, I went on-line a few hours ago and caught a sneak peak of tonight's episode on Bravo's website.  Danielle who truly looks like Jim Henson made a tragic muppet was learning some self defense moves.  It's clearly a dream come true for her to be in this drama-fest with Ashley who pulled her hair at that country club.  It gives her relevance on the show and some potential income.  I'm by no means condoning Ashley's behavior it's spectacularly stupid but Danielle is a dog seeking a bone.  Any bone.  And that bone was the hair pull which allows her to sue.  I'll get to that......... 

I should mention that when I went on-line earlier I saw Danielle's self defense training--- she imagined that one fist was targeting Teresa and the other was focusing on Jacqueline.  And I drew the following....

Just for sh*ts and giggles, I added some digital color.

The original is for sale on my etsy shop here.  By the way, c'mon readers--- buy some of my drawings.  It does an artist good.  :)  I created that spectacular artwork sober but when I watched the episode tonight, instead of my usual Cabernet- I turned to scotch.  This show has driven me to the hard stuff.  And I drank a bit too much so please forgive my spelling and occasional missed words. 

True Blood. Oh hell yeah!

Did you watch True Blood last night?  Oh.... my.... God was it good!!!!  If I can convince just one person to get on board the undead express that is TB, then I've done my good deed for the day.  This season is all about twisted and turning plots lines and I'm not even going to attempt a recap because I'm a bit confused to be quite honest.  And fully turned on.  Let's investigate the latter.  Allow me to showcase the physical perfection that is Joe Manganiello who plays Alcide.  

Try and keep your pants on while viewing these photos...... 

 

Or don't........

Joe's 6'5" by the way.  Pants still on?

Sure Alcide is a werewolf but that shouldn't get in the way of loving him.  He's a good werewolf if there is such a thing and he's in charge of looking after Sookie.  I think I may be part werewolf too because when this scene began with the shirtless Joe, I howled.  I howled and foamed at the mouth.  Don't judge.  I saw him on some entertainment news show and he was talking about how he'd been initiated into the brotherhood of the sock while filming.  Meaning in his nude scenes (cut to me howling) he wore a sock over his bountiful treasure.  I'm assuming its a bountiful treasure based on that nose.  Oh if I could only interview that sock.

The photos are from my new favorite site called Fuck Yeah Joe Manganiello.  I couldn't have said it better myself.  

Do yourself a huge favor and watch True Blood.

xoxo