Pretty On The Outside

Big Ang is the GodMother!

It's official!  I'm hooked on Big Ang.  I can't help it......  She's everything I've ever wanted from a reality TV character: a bigger than life persona, a distinctively alluring look, a commanding voice and presence, and she's typically accessorized in feathers either in her hair or on her earrings and/ or sporting some type of leopard printed ensemble.  She's a wild and untamed animal this Big Ang and I'm pleased to make her acquaintance.

Drawing completed with ink on paper.  If you're so inclined, have a look at my fb page as I typically posted work there first.

Big Ang tattoo!!!!!!!!!

I'm not sure if I'm honored or horrified but some tattooed my illustration of Mob Wives Big Ang on their body. It's even on her twitter page. HA!!!!! The hilarious site Starcasm gave me the heads up. http://starcasm.net/archives/139809  I'm not on twitter so if one of you lovely readers wants to tweet her that I'm the one who created the illustration, I'd be forever grateful.  Also, please tell her I'm in love! By the way, feel free to take a trip to my fb page.  Thanks!

 

Big Ang!

Please savor my pen sketch of reality TV goddess Big Ang from Mob Wives.  I'm working on a big project at the moment so I won't be able to post any new artwork for a few days.  Hope Big Ang for tide you over til I'm back.

xo

Big Ang from Mob Wives. Part two.

I watched my first full episode of Mob Wives a couple nights ago. I'd mentioned in a previous posting that I've been under the weather since mid last week and as I lay on the couch in a dayquil haze, I got a taste of what all the Staten Island fuss is about.  Gotta say I was equally appalled and enthralled.  Been watching those Real Housewives for a long time so I'm used to combative, catty attention-starved lunatics on TV.  The housewives collectively are pretty freakin vanilla compared to the episode I saw of Mob Wives.  Let me get right to it in case you were like me and had never seen this show.  These women fist fought each other.  Yes, fist fought!  Sure the Real Housewives collectively yell, threaten, and get in each others faces but that seems to be breakfast type behaviour for the Mob Wives.  Again, this was my first episode so maybe it's not always this high octane but let me tell you what I saw.

Remember this was in my dayquil-saturated perspective.  The apparent matriarch of the show is called Renee.  I assume she's the kingpin or queenpin because the other ladies seemed to fear/ respect her.  Also got to mention I've never heard so much cursing that's being bleeped out.  Renee, who looks like Jackie Stallone and a pitbull have a torrid affair, was having a birthday party at what could be a two story Costco.  Two of the other mob wives were out on the second floor balcony of the Costco arguing about----- I don't know----- someone heard that someone was talking shit about one of them behind their back but no one would own up to what they'd said.  Then clips of them saying the shit they denied saying would be edited into the show.  Voice raised, fingers pointed, veins popped out of foreheads and then another mob wife came out onto the balcony and before you knew it, punches were being thrown, hair was being pulled and like ten neckless security guys struggled to pull these women apart.  You bleeping bleep I'm gonna bleeping bleep you in your bleeping bleep!!!  Bleep you!!!!!!  The women and security were a mosh of crazy.  

Renee was running across the Costco screaming about how dare those bleeping bitches bleep up her bleeping party.  The  women eventually got yanked apart but one of them got punched in the face by maybe a guy and even more hell broke loose.  Hard to say exactly happened next because there were crazy camera angles of the various women running and screaming and threatening to bleeping kill the bleeping bitch.  And through it all, the elegant and dignified Big Ang drawn above didn't get involved.  No, in her lady-like manner she steered clear of the drama, sipped her cocktail, and scanned the room for an available wise guy.  I love you Big Ang.  You're my reality TV saviour.  

Not sure if I hate or love this show but chances are I'll give it another look.  As for My Ang, my Big Ang..... I'll always be watching you.

Drawing completed with ink on paper and digital color.

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Ken and Kim on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills are a psa on not doing drugs.

Ok, this is posting number two today and I'm fading fast.  Like really, really fast.  As I sit on a mountain of Kleenex and Cold-Eeze lozenge wrappers with an ice pack on my head, I'm about to give in and take some more dayquil.  I'm trying to stick to the recommended amount for fear of acting, appearing, behaving like Kim Richards and that yuck glob of a boyfriend.  What in the f*#k is wrong with those two?  What are they on?  I'm sick as a dog but if there was a Bravo camera rolling in front of me, I'm pretty sure I could pull it together long enough to fake my way through a scene.  My apologies but that's about all I have to give right now.........  Off to medicate and sleep.

Illustration of Ken and Kim completed with pen, ink, and marker on paper with a pinch of digital color. 

Cowgirl Kandi Burruss is a little bit country........

Oh hey there!  I'm going to attempt two ultra-quickie postings today.  Like ultra, ultra quick.  I did the above drawing of my favorite housewife Kandi about five days ago, posted it on my fb page, and then began prepping for a free-lance project. It was on my "to do" list to get this posted but sadly I got sick mid-week.  Wah wah!!!!  Today I'm almost feeling human again so thought I'd best get this up.  The above drawing of the adorable Kandi celebrates her foray into the country music arena.  Miss Burruss is writing for country singer Jo Dee Messina and I predict good things.  In my estimation, she's the only "real" person on that show meaning she's not pretending to be something she's not.  Go cowgirl Kandi!  So what else happened on last week's show?

Hmmmmm.... if memory serves:

Phaedra's trying to put the fun back in funerals (sorry, I'm still sick) and she's gonna use her friend Willy Wonka's business model and rip him off.  Or something like that.

Cynthia and Peter seem to be on the divorce countdown.

Nene found out that new cast member Marla has been arrested seven times.  Say what?

Kim and her lazy daughters unpacked some hideously gaudy Versace plates that will be displayed in their formal dining room but never used.

Sheree went to Kim's Wigmanor and tried to usher in a healthier lifestyle: fresh squeezed juice...... yoga complete with side planks (those totally work by the way) and Kim wanted none of it.  Which was shocking, right?  I think Kim is totally missing out on a huge business opportunity.  Wouldn't you want to buy a yoga workout video with wigged Kim trying to do the down dog position with a cigarette in her mouth and a glass of wine next to her mat?  I'd totally buy it.

Ok, off to take my meds and try for posting number two.

Drawing of Kandi was completed with pen and ink on paper.

Big Ang from Mob Wives!

Oh. My. God..... I wasn't even in the market for a new reality TV muse but I've just found her!  A number of you have suggested I draw the ladies from Mob Wives airing on VH1.  So I took a look at that show but honestly it didn't really grab me.  I tried.  My friend Deena called a couple nights ago and she told me there was a new character named Big Ang on that show and that I would love her.  And my friend was soooooooo right!  I googled her and as Deena and I were on the phone I watched the following clip and nearly passed out.

I mean..... have you ever seen such a delicate flower? Such a demur vessel of femininity.  Such a lilting and shrinking violet.  She's a goddess.  She's everything I've dreamed of, so I drew her.

Oh Big Ang..... I'm forever yours.  Below are a couple .gifs which are .gifts from the reality TV gods!

Somebody slap me!

Drawing of Big Ang completed with pen on paper. 

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Just had to share this........

I was clickin around the web and stumbled onto these sculptures by Billie Achellios.

She used Louis Vuitton products to create those wonderfully kooky animals.  Love it!  Please click on the above link to see further examples and click here to go to her fun blog.  Great stuff!

 

It's a Brad, Brad World.

I made the following illustration in anticipation of tonight's premier of Brad Goreski's new show on Bravo.  Here goes....

I'm excited to see the blushing, bow tie-wearing, styling wonder away from The Rachel Zoe project.  I do like her show but Brad, in my opinion, was the star.  Here's the original version before I colored it.

Both versions are available for purchase.  Original here and print here.

And of course you can always "like" me here.

Thanks and happy new year to you all.

Oh hey Kyle Richards, let's have a look at you.

I'm slowly but surely working on a group portrait of those Beverly Hills gals.... tons of sketches and doodles and silliness.  I'm starting with Miss Splits herself, Kyle Richards.  She's Paris Hilton's aunt and her husband is a big hunk of a man and she likes to do the splits.  That's what I know.  Here goes......

 It's completed with archival pen and ink on archival 11" x 8.5" white drawing paper.  Did I mention it's all archival materials?  That means your great great grandchildren can appreciate this drawing.  So think of those grand kids and buy this on my etsy shop here.  And you can like it here.... if you like.

Happy holidays!  

 

It's all about Kim Richard's disheveled ponytail and aggressively applied blush on The Really Ridiculous Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Well....... it's not really all about those things but I would like to discuss.  Before I go any further I'd like to say Happy Holidays.  Wishing you joy and well-applied blush in the new year.  Back to the Beverly Hills BS........ I drew the following image of Kim Richards right after that last episode which seems like an eternity ago.  I made it, posted it on my fb page, and then got side tracked with Christmas stuff, family stuff, birthday stuff for my guy, and other such stuff and never got around to sharing it here.  Whoopsy! 

At this point, that last episode is just a flickering memory of sitting in my livingroom, guzzling a carafe of cabernet, eating dark chocolate, and wondering what in the hell was up with Kim Richard's deep fried hair (I know they sell conditioner in Beverly Hills) and why she was using mahogany shoe polish as blush?  It's pretty clear Kim is off her rocker and taking comfort in a number of substances but c'mon girl, use a brush, get some Pantene, and try to pick a shade of blush that's not the color of a new pair of penny loafers.  Is that too much to ask for?  And if Kyle is such a good sister, can't she go to Rite Aid and nab Kim some VO5 hot oil hair-repair treatment and a Wet-n-Wild magenta blush?  My above illustration was from the fight she picked with Brandi.  Yes the fight between Kim and Brandi will go on as long as these two are on this show, it's just how it is. It's like Tamra vs Gretchen.  It's like Jill vs Bethenny.  It's like NeNe vs everyone.........  I gotta say the visual of Kim: 5'2", scrappy, weathered, wobbly, confused, relentless, slurring, haggard, with that broom-bristle hair fashioned into a high-pony and sad-clown hooker makeup against Brandi: 6'2", lean, bra-less, fairly calm, and with appropriately-applied makeup and well-conditioned hair, was a stark contrast.  Kim's argument was as put together as she was.  So not very.  As Kim poked her bony finger up into Brandi's face and kept telling Brandi how awful she was and how bad it was that a pretty girl like her would use such bad language (Brandi likes the f word as much as she hates to wear a bra) I wondered if I had to pick a side, could I? 

I guess I like Kim because she's a trainwreck.  It's terrible to admit that but that's why we love these shows, right?  Kim delivers the crazy.  I might like Brandi in another season or two but the jury is still out on her for me.  So I guess I'm Team Kim.  Yikes!!!!!!!!  So in solidarity with Kim I'm off to contour my cheeks with some chocolate frosting, wash but not condition my hair, and pick a fight with someone twice my height and half my age.  :)  Silly, silly, silly.

Illustration of Kim completed with ink of paper and digital color.

XoXo

Happy New Year!

Camille's bff DD's nose vs Taylor's lips on The Really Ridiculous Housewives of Beverly Hills.

How do you make sense out of nonsense?  Anyone..... anyone.........  I gave up a long time ago trying to figure out why I still like these shows.  I can't help myself but I do and I suppose I justify my viewing time by drawing them.  Especially the wackiest ones and the craziest circumstances. 

Let's fast forward thru the show to the end cause that's where we get the big pay-off.  Brandi is desperately trying to make an impact on: her cast-mates, the viewing audience, Bravo TV, slut pigs, people who opt to go bra-less, anyone, anyone, anyone in order to be back next season.  So she threw a party at a friend's lovely Malibu home and all hell broke loose which made her nipples rock hard, as we could see.  One by one the ladies arrived and wine was served and dancing was done and Kyle did the splits and Taylor and Camille awkwardly hugged.  At some point Camille's girlfriend DD who must be vying for a bigger spot on next season got all in Taylor's face and questioned why Taylor was ignoring her friend-employer-lover(?)'s attempt to make amends.  Oh boy.  Poor Taylor slowly began to unravel as DD's nose beak pecked at her massive lips.  DD who's been fairly mild these last two season went berserk hounding Taylor about why she's not making up with Camille and Taylor lost it and started screaming and slobbering and struck out at everyone.  A few attempts to push DD were unsuccessful as she kept coming back to yell at Taylor more and that only worsened the dire situation so Brandi feeling like a big girl told Taylor to leave "her house".  I think she meant to say, my friend's house--- but she was caught up.  So Taylor and Kyle left as did Adrienne.  DD told Camille she loved her and tried grabbing her boobs but Camille whispered not while the cameras are rolling.  And then it was all over.  For now.  Darn you Bravo..... my addiction to your programming is as big as Taylor's lips.  :)

Ink and pen on paper with digital color.

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In celebration of Phaedra's mmm-hmm face.

There are lots of things to enjoy about The Real Housewives of ATL:

*Sheree pretending to build her dream home.... she is an "actress" after all and I believe the "Chateau Sheree" storyline is one long improv exercise.

*The nightclub complete with a VIP section that Peter is launching in a neighborhood which by all accounts is in the hood.  I understand if there's a beautiful old building in a sketchy area and you're hoping to help transition that part of town.  But Peter's bar looks like it was previously a kinkos and all he did was hang some Ikea curtains and a giant photo of Cynthia on the wall.  Hey.... maybe it's still part kinkos and he just printed that over-sized image there.  Very resourceful.

*Pregnant Kim.

*Nene showing all the signs of being a diva moose.

*Anything Kandi.  And of course mama Joyce.

But my favorite thing of all is Phaedra's face when she lets out an mmm-hmm sound at something which excites her.  That mug gets all squished and her lips almost double in size.  I like the soft, quiet, and drawn-out mmmmmm-hmmmmms, her shout it at Jesus MMM-HMMS!!!, and just her regular old mmm-hmms like she's agreeing with you.  They're all good and all very welcome.  Thank you Phaedra for being so entertaining.  Can I get an a-mmm-hmm-men?! 

Ink on paper with digital color.

If you like, please click on over and "like" my facebook page.  Thanks!

The Real Donkey Booties of Atlanta!

This is a celebration of the "donkey booty" as brought to us by: Kandi, Phaedra, and Sheree. I do love an itty bitty waist and a round thing in my face! These glorious tushies were drawn with lots of love and lots of admiration.  Who doesn't enjoy a shapely backside?  I sure do!  On Sunday's episode of RHOATL those three gals went site-scouting for Kandi's 35th birthday party and they brought plenty of booty.  Here's some screen captures....

Damn!!!!!  Praise be the donkey booty.  Can I get an amen?  Seriously, I think all their rear ends are fantastic.

It's all about Lisa Vanderpump's reactions.

This is going to be the quickest of quickies....... as I watched last night's Real Housewives of BH, it wasn't Taylor's lips, or Camille's confrontation, or Adrienne's frozen-solid face, or Maurico riding the mechanical bull, or Paul riding the mechanical bull, or Brandi finally being off crutches, or Faye Resnick's bad style, or Ace Young's terrible song, or even Kim's icy reaction to Brandi that made the biggest impression on me.  No.  It was Lisa Vanderpump's side-eye reaction to everything her cast mates were saying and doing and so I had to draw it.

That's her "oh please darling" look. :)

This is an aside.... and I'm just making an observation.....  I've always been obsessed with plastic surgery and as the years tic on I understand the desire to want to retain a certain "freshness" in appearance.  Something I've seen a lot in Orange County and LA are those ladies whose skin is thoroughly weathered and sun-damaged and freckled and then they'll have a doll-like face that's been microdermabrasioned and lasered down to a porcelain like surface.  Not so fresh.  It's weird and fascinating.  There was a woman in the OC I did some work for and she had gigantic fake boobs that were always featured in extremely low-cut tops and her skin below her chin was like freckle-covered leather yet her face didn't have a wrinkle, a blemish, or even pores.  It was like she'd had a head transplant.  I'm not saying Lisa is that extreme but she had best be careful because it's clearly easy for these gals to go franken-filler and microdermabrasion-crazy.  Maybe that's why I'm hooked on them.  :)

Peter from The Real Housewives of Atlanta is PaPa Smurf!

As usual there was some fighting to be had on last night's Real Housewives of Atlanta.  Of course..... That's the fuel which powers the machine, however, this time it was two of the husbands going at it!  Joe Giudice and Joe Gorga must be so proud of their combative legacy.  So........  Kim and Kroy's baby shower which looked like it was held in a school gymnasium was the scene of the crime.  Seriously, I was looking for basketball hoops and bleachers.  Peter, Cynthia's husband, apparently was recently interviewed by Uptown Magazine and got all bitchy saying Sheree was unattractive and that he couldn't stand Phaedra (because of past foot-in-the-mouth stuff she'd said about him).  The plot thickens!  So...... everything was going smoothly at the baby shower held in the basketball court of a 24 Hour Fitness: Kim's oldest daughter gave a sweet speech that basically was about her mom's love of Kroy's sweet ass, Phaedra speculated that Kim's baby shower was awfully similar to her awful shower (really?  I didn't see a bouquet of white roses in Kim's wig, Dwight, or any ballerinas), and Kim's creepy dad awkwardly propositioned Phaedra about some business something or other.  Phaedra priceless expression during the exchange was equal parts "where's my mace" and "can I make some money off this crazy old geezer."  So........ Peter and Cynthia came rolling in some 5 hours late.  5 hours!!!!  Why even bother?  Well, they bothered because they both want to be on next season and the pathway to contract renewal is lined with drama. NeNe taught them well. 

After some bullshit excuses about why they were so late and a number of phony are you crazy bitch air-kisses, Peter and Cynthia sat down at the table with the rest of cast and cue the drama!  Apollo and Peter were seated next to each other for optimal tension.  Apollo who should be shirtless in scene began rubbing his hands like he was warming them up to throw a punch and Peter just had to chime in with a, "you got a problem?"  Apollo responded with an, "Aren't you too old?"  Peter's I think 50 and Apollo is I think 42.  42 and fine.  Peter jabbed back with a comment about Apollo's recent mistaken arrest (I didn't really understand what was up with that situation), a number of "Bring it" shouts were exchanged as the two rose to their feet, and the joint got so hot I thought some synthetic hair was going to melt!  But just when it looked like the two were going to come to blows, Apollo actually became the bigger, better, hotter man and walked away.  Well done Apollo.... now take your cloths off.  Sorry.  :)  And then Peter and Cynthia stormed off in a huff.  Cr-a-zy! 

The best part was Phaedra saying about Peter and his slew of children that he reminded her of the old man in the shoe, Uncle Ben, and the best ever---Papa Smurf.  Papa Smurf!!!!  And so I drew Peter as such.  Hope you'll like.

A print of this can be purchased on my etsy shop.  Please click here.

If you really like it, click onto my facebook page and have a "like" there.

Andy Cohen is a doll. A paper doll that is.

As a thank you to Mr Andy Cohen for giving me his mazel a few weeks back, I made some paper dolls of him. 

Please click on the image for a closer look.  The Andy doll begins with the hunky late night host in a pair of red trunks which probably is enough for most of you.  If you'd like to dress him up, you've got some options: a "Midnight Fun" crown, a tux, a casual look with an "I've Got The 411" tee, or the Jiggy costume he wore for Halloween as designed by Chris March. :)  Decisions.... decisions........

Thanks again Andy for the mazel!

If you're in the paper doll mode, please click these:

Jesus Barbie and her King.

The Giudice.

The Countess Luann.

Ramona.

Please visit my etsy shop to order some dolls of your own.  And lastly, please check out my facebook page.  Thanks!

 

Paper doll show and tell fun!

My very sweet and very lovely reader Maureen purchased some of my paper dolls for her friend Cheryl's birthday and here's the very lovely Cheryl opening her gift.......

Love it!  Clearly those paper dolls have gone to a good and loving home.  Hope you'll enjoy those paper dolls Cheryl and thanks so much Maureen for your purchase and for sending me that wonderful photo.

xoxo

Show and Tell fun with Mr Tim Gunn!

My lovely reader Laurie had commissioned me to draw the lovely Tim Gunn for her lovely sister Jennifer some time ago.  I recently received messages from both lovely sisters that Mr Gunn's book tour had come through Atlanta and Jennifer had taken her drawing to the signing and looky what she sent....

Beautiful all around!  Here's a closer look at the drawing...

When I sell a painting or a print or get commissioned to create something I always have a moment of wondering while standing in line at the post office as I'm about to ship it off: will my work be displayed in a home or an office or a home office, will it be matted and framed, will the buyer's friends and family like it .......  But when I sent this piece off I certainly didn't anticipate that it would come face to drawn face with the man himself! And apparently Tim had very nice things to say about the drawing which is icing on a very fabulous cake that has "major wow factor."  Thanks Laurie and Jennifer! And thanks Mr Gunn for just being you!

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Well hello Camille Grammer, I believe you just woke up and spoke up.

I'll get to Miss Grammer in a bit but I must start with the dysfunction that is the Richards sisters.  In one corner we have the obviously wacked, sun-damaged, bleach-damaged, scrawny, scrappy, slurring, oddity that can't let go of her long ago fame who goes by the name Kim.  The elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor with that one.  In the other corner, on the opposite end of the hair spectrum, we have the pampered brunette who seems to have it all together: a hot stud of a husband, loads of cash, a manner of speaking that isn't slurred, and conditioner in her shower.  This sister goes by the name Kyle.  But let me submit to you, you the blog readers in the jury of public opinion, that Kyle's elevator may go to the top floor but it still is a bumpy ride on the way up.