Pretty On The Outside

#fitchthehomeless

This is Abercrombie & Fitch CEO and epic-douchebag Mike Jeffries drawn with a BIC pen in about six minutes (which was too long to look at that mug.) A spotlight is currently shining on some comments he made about his customer base: 
"In every school there are the cool and popular kids, and then there are the not-so-cool kids. We go after the cool kids"
"A lot of people don't belong (in our cloths), and they can't belong"
"Are we exclusionary? Absolutely"
What a peach. Please watch this great response video:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/14/abercrombie-and-fitch-homeless-brand-readjustment_n_3272498.html?utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false

Here's a side by side if you're not familiar with the way he looks.

V is for Vicki......

..... disturbed by her date.

:)

Jinkx Monsoon from RuPaul's Drag Race......

..... you make my inner Seattle drag queen very proud.

xo

The Real Damaged Hair of Orange County

 

Here are Lydia, Alexis, and Vicki at the forced and ridiculous pre-opening party for Tamra's damaged hair rehab center.  Tamra is set to launch a clinic for used and abused blond hair in Orange County and certainly the lines will back up all the way to the 405 freeway.....  Ok, Tamra is really opening a gym but if she were smart (cough, what, cough) she'd include a deep conditioning area because a few of them are featuring some seriously rough hair.  Not sure why, but Vicki this season looks like she styled her hair during a stage five hurricane.  I think her hair is a clear indicator of what's going on in her personal life. Tamra's hair looks like if someone sneezed really hard near her, all that fried mess would fly off in one big clump.  I'd call that texture thatch.  And real quick about Alexis--- that augmented moose chose to be on a show where people fight.  For that inflatable toy to say that the other women are bullying her minimizes the pain, isolation, and trauma that a true victim has felt. 

Lydia is just collateral damage her.

Was just going to leave this a black and white drawing but I couldn't help myself.  Someone, please, slap me for drawing these women. But be warned, if you do slap me--- I'm going to claim bullying.  

 

NeNe Leakes's facial expressions are everything!

This is the lovely NeNe Leakes from The RHOATL's reunion show serving a tantalizing buffet of expressions. I hit pause on my dvr remote as her face stretched into this wonderful expression. I believe this is when Andy asked her which housewife should be replaced. Hmmmmmm... my vote is for Porsche to go. What your's?

Alexis Bellino and her old nose

This is Christian Warrior Alexis Bellino from The Real Housewives of Orange County.  Ugh, why do I draw these people?  By the way, that's her old nose.... Just because.  :)

The Governor from The Walking Dead!

In my humble opinion, The Walking Dead is the BEST thing on TV and this comes from a giant chicken who can't even watch scary movie trailers.  That show is so much more than zombies...... just tune in and you'll be "bit".  I drew the very, very, very bad Governor.......... he plays a villian sooooooooooooooo well that I had to draw him.

Ink and pen on paper with some digital color.

After all, love is love.

My partner and I will celebrate our 18th anniversary in May however, as California residents we can't wed. A numbered of my closest friends have recently gotten married in Washington state and couldn't be happier for them.  I painted the HRC logo on my and my partner's hands and as we took the photos, he placed our hands on his heart.  A simple statement about love, solidarity, and commitment--- sounds like a marriage, right?

“Faye walks up to a situation that has nothing to do with her..........

........ and puts her d**k on the table.”  Thank you Brandi Glanville for this quote.  Bullseye!  So good I had to illustrate it.

Unpixelated image in the second half of the post.  It's NSFW though.

Cynthia Bailey from The Real Housewives of ATL.

Did this quickie of Miss Cynthia Bailey of The Bailey Modeling Agency (thank you very much). I feel this season she's giving us handsome lady realness....... Just a dusting of dikeyness which I find very favorable. 
Pen and marker on paper with an itty bitty bit of digital color.

The Walking Dead. Hello Michonne!

I'm kinda late to the party that is The Walking Dead.  Began watching during season 3 and instantly fell in love with this unwashed band of characters fighting for their lives in a new world overrun by Zombies.  For the longest time I didn't know their character names so I referred to this woman as "Mad Lauren Hill"--- which I know is a redundant title.  Her character is called Michonne which must translate to: sword-wielding badass who's distrusting of others.  Love her!  And if you've ever seen her out of character then you know she's stunningly beauitful.

Drew her with ink and pen on paper with some digital color.  Give this show a try if you haven't already....... you'll be glad you joined the party.

David Gilmore + Marcelino Rosas + Next Magazine

My body paint and photography are on the cover of Next Magazine. I painted my handsome friend Marcelino to look like a lovely lady. He's wearing a wig of paper flowers and is in front of a backdrop I painted.

He's body painted him entirely using MAC cosmetics: chromacake, chromaline, acrylics, paint sticks, and eyeshadow.

See it online here.

R.I.P. Kim Richards nose.

If you watch the RHOBH (it's ok.... this is a safe space) then you know last night we bid farewell to Kim Richard's nose. Poor, loopy, dazed, rattled Kim.... Now that she's sober (?), her big priority was to get a nose job. Hmmmmmmm does having a procedure which comes with pain meds seem like a good idea to someone who clearly has substance abuse issues? Regardless I've always had a sick fondness for those pre-surgery images where the doctor has pen-marked their guidelines. Today's drawing is Kim with her marked snout. Side note: wasn't it fun seeing the return of season 1 Camille? She's been so tame and scripted since season 2 began.

Drawing of Kim completed with micron pens and indian ink on watercolor paper

Detox on RuPaul's Drag Race

RuPaul's Drag Race season 5 began this week and it's way too soon to pick a favorite. The intro episode can be a lot to process but it's clear there's one who's going to go far and her name is Detox. I made this portrait of her using micron pens and her eye makeup is MAC cosmetics. The eyebrows, lashes, and shadow are: chromaline, paint sticks, and eye shadow. Snap snap.

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Phaedra Parks and her mmm-hmm face.

I give you Phaedra Parks from the RHOATL who is serving one of her signature mmm-hmm looks.  An mmm-hmm expression is multi-faceted....... It can be triggered by something that delights, arouses, or crosses her.  This specific mmm-hmm squish-face is the "this bitch is crazy" variety as caused by her cast mate Kenya.  It's odd to say and please don't judge but I'm growing a pinch fond of Kenya.  Is that wrong?  I know it is but I can't help it.  

Drawing completed with pencil on paper and some digital color.

Please check me out on facebook as well.

Paris Hilton on RHOBH

On last night's RHOBH we were treated to a visit by Paris Hilton, Kyle's niece. (That's Kyle on the left.) It was just a couple years ago that this particular franchise began and at the time, sadly and oddly Paris was too big to appear. But now as no one gives a flying shit about her, she'll slum it to pedal some nonsense. She dropped the most unbelievable turd bomb when she declared she was "closing" for JLO at a concert. HA HA HA!!!!!! I laughed for about an hour at that. Closing? You mean when they turn the stadium lights on and the custodians begin cleaning. Oh Paris, you actually gave your best performance in this bomb of a guest spot. 
Drawing done with ink and marker on paper and a dab of digital color. Also, isn't it funny she is (was) considered hot?

Kenya Moore is Gone With The Wind fabulous

In honor of Kenya Moore declaring she's "Gone With The Wind" fabulous, I've taken the silly liberty of putting her in Carol Burnette's iconic Gone With The Wind curtain dress.

Twirl baby twirl!

If you'd like to see more, please check me out on fb.  Thanks! 

NeNe Leakes painted with MAC Cosmetics

I just can't seem to help myself.... Hit pause on my dvr remote as NeNe from the RHOATL was serving a punishing bitch-please™ look to one of her cast-mates. Did a quick pencil sketch and then "painted" it with MAC cosmetics: paint stick, full coverage foundation, eye shadow, chromacake.

By the way, those two new women need to go: Kenya and Porche, they're really awful.  I'd like to rename Porche, Tercel or Camry.  (No offense if you drive one of those cars but renaming her a Toyota car seems more spot-on.) And Kenya or Ken-nah™ is out of her friggin mind!  Out of it.  That Waletr guy needs to run for the hills!  :)

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NeNe Leakes painted with MAC Cosmetics

Adrienne Maloof painted.... in MAC cosmetics.

Taylor Armstrong done in MAC!

Taylor Armstrong painted with MAC Cosmetics.

Raven from Rupaul's Drag Race

Just drew my all-time favorite RuPaul Drag Race contestant Raven with pencil and ink on paper. If you ever get a chance to see her live, it's well worth it. 

One more for the road.....

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Sgt Doakes from Dexter. Drawn.

"Surprise Motherfucka!" As I wait for a canvas to dry, I did a quick sketch of Sgt. Doakes from Dexter. He comes from the Angela Bassett school of overacting and I love it. Love it. Was fun seeing him again on this past season.